New friends...lost friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to be dramatic about it, "goodbye forever" thing seems a big much. Aren't you going to have to see her at work?

And be honest, what was your role in this? You seem a little coy, like you have to think about if you mentioned a kids activity.
Don't you wear a wedding band?

We don't work together anymore.

Honestly I cannot be sure about the kid events, but I've been replaying all the events so much in my head to see if I ever lead her on, which I'd be upset with myself about, but memories are getting fuzzier each time I replay them in my head so I have lost some certitude. I guess I'm just angry and sad, angry that she's now ruined the friendship and sad because I've lost someone who I felt close to (as a friend).

Dude, you had a few lunches together. What's with all the emotion about it? You obviously we're developing feelings for her too, but don't want to admit it to yourself. It's like you're playing dumb, but with yourself.

No way she "forgot" you were married. Unless you don't wear a ring and were steadfast in avoiding any conversation about your wife and kids. But if she was interested in you, your marital status is one of the first things she would have registered.

Now that you know she was interested in dating you, you need to let go of the fantasy of this lost "friendship"... because that's not what it was. Gimme a break. Go tell your wife that you're emotionally vulnerable due to this friendship lost. See how she reacts.

Stop being a yodel-head.

+1
Everything this person said.
I can't imagine sitting across much from someone and not noticing a wedding band. Or getting so hurt and having to give a "never again, goodbye forever speech". Your story is not adding up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op why don't you wear your wedding band? See, that's the real question. Op do your female friends tend to forget you are married? Has this happened a couple of times. Hmmmm! I'm just going to sip my tea and continue filing my nails while waiting for your answer.

Neither my wife not I wear a band, and many of our friends do not either, not our thing. No it has not happened before, likely because my life revolves around my kids, and female friends or male friends all know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op why don't you wear your wedding band? See, that's the real question. Op do your female friends tend to forget you are married? Has this happened a couple of times. Hmmmm! I'm just going to sip my tea and continue filing my nails while waiting for your answer.

Neither my wife not I wear a band, and many of our friends do not either, not our thing. No it has not happened before, likely because my life revolves around my kids, and female friends or male friends all know this.

Maybe you should reconsider.
If you had an emotionally devastating breakup with a friend after a few lunches who was confused about your status, you are not the kind of person who should be running around without a wedding band.
I'm not kidding, if you are this clueless and emotional that's a bad combo and a ring would help.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Is she a lesbian or are you a man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to be dramatic about it, "goodbye forever" thing seems a big much. Aren't you going to have to see her at work?

And be honest, what was your role in this? You seem a little coy, like you have to think about if you mentioned a kids activity.
Don't you wear a wedding band?

We don't work together anymore.

Honestly I cannot be sure about the kid events, but I've been replaying all the events so much in my head to see if I ever lead her on, which I'd be upset with myself about, but memories are getting fuzzier each time I replay them in my head so I have lost some certitude. I guess I'm just angry and sad, angry that she's now ruined the friendship and sad because I've lost someone who I felt close to (as a friend).

Dude, you had a few lunches together. What's with all the emotion about it? You obviously we're developing feelings for her too, but don't want to admit it to yourself. It's like you're playing dumb, but with yourself.

No way she "forgot" you were married. Unless you don't wear a ring and were steadfast in avoiding any conversation about your wife and kids. But if she was interested in you, your marital status is one of the first things she would have registered.

Now that you know she was interested in dating you, you need to let go of the fantasy of this lost "friendship"... because that's not what it was. Gimme a break. Go tell your wife that you're emotionally vulnerable due to this friendship lost. See how she reacts.

Stop being a yodel-head.

+1
Everything this person said.
I can't imagine sitting across much from someone and not noticing a wedding band. Or getting so hurt and having to give a "never again, goodbye forever speech". Your story is not adding up.

This whole thing seems made up. Or else you are in the 3rd grade. But assuming you are an adult with a real story, I agree with this person. Stop being a yodel head. If I was your wife I would kick both y'alls' asses.

[Anonymous]

Oh yeah, and I agree. Go talk to your wife about all of this, and see what her advice is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh yeah, and I agree. Go talk to your wife about all of this, and see what her advice is.

...and then post an update!

[Anonymous]

Either she has a bad memory, isn't a good listener, or isn't very smart (since she wasn't aware you're married).

[Anonymous]

In my personal opinion, it isn't very proper for you to have lunch w/another woman if you are married w/children.

So by agreeing to have lunch together and if you ended up covering the tab, I can kind of see how she may have felt there could have been a chance.

Yes, the friendship has ended, but considering that she had romantic feelings toward you, it really wasn't a real authentic friendship in the true sense of the word.

Move on. Don't look back.

[Anonymous]

Not wearing a traditional wedding band.....??!

Then that in itself is asking for trouble.

Sorry......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to be dramatic about it, "goodbye forever" thing seems a big much. Aren't you going to have to see her at work?

And be honest, what was your role in this? You seem a little coy, like you have to think about if you mentioned a kids activity.
Don't you wear a wedding band?

We don't work together anymore.

Honestly I cannot be sure about the kid events, but I've been replaying all the events so much in my head to see if I ever lead her on, which I'd be upset with myself about, but memories are getting fuzzier each time I replay them in my head so I have lost some certitude. I guess I'm just angry and sad, angry that she's now ruined the friendship and sad because I've lost someone who I felt close to (as a friend).

Dude, you had a few lunches together. What's with all the emotion about it? You obviously we're developing feelings for her too, but don't want to admit it to yourself. It's like you're playing dumb, but with yourself.

No way she "forgot" you were married. Unless you don't wear a ring and were steadfast in avoiding any conversation about your wife and kids. But if she was interested in you, your marital status is one of the first things she would have registered.

Now that you know she was interested in dating you, you need to let go of the fantasy of this lost "friendship"... because that's not what it was. Gimme a break. Go tell your wife that you're emotionally vulnerable due to this friendship lost. See how she reacts.

Stop being a yodel-head.

+1
Everything this person said.
I can't imagine sitting across much from someone and not noticing a wedding band. Or getting so hurt and having to give a "never again, goodbye forever speech". Your story is not adding up.