Getting better at not taking the judgment of clinicians and others to heart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, too, OP. I just spent an hour smiling at a therapist (while rolling my eyes inside) because she was clearly judging me without ever having even met my kid, giving me crappy advice and would not get me get a word in edgewise. She just talked non-stop for that whole hour about stuff that was completely irrelevant to DC!

For me one the hardest parts. We are actually paying for these kind of encounters!

[Anonymous]

There has to be a special place in hell for the people who are condescending/mean/judgmental to vulnerable SN parents.

[Anonymous]

I don't know OP. I don't doubt your experience, but I just don't care enough about what other people think to have concern about whether they are judging me. I am just exhausted at this point. I am a single mom to a child with HFA and a more than full time job. People can have whatever judgment they want, I'm not blessing their hearts, I'm not offended, I just don't have the energy to care.

[Anonymous]

NP. Everyone deals with this kind of thing differently.

It's hard, because I don't have the answers and I'm going to this doctor/specialist/therapist for help. At the same time, there are a lot of fish in the sea, and it's important to find someone that you connect with.

I've learned over the years that many professionals don't have much bedside manner (or enough for me). Many don't have kids themselves, and IMHO that can really make a difference in their empathy and understanding. They are professionals, yes, but while many are about their patients, many are about their own egos.

I want to feel like I'm part of a team, working with someone who has the same goals as I do, and really looks at my kid without pigeonholing him into their particular research area, or throwing out uniformed diagnoses way outside their speciality, apparently unconcerned how that might impact us. I recently bailed on a ST before we even started because she was so obnoxious on the phone, making sweeping declarations about my kid after a 30-second phone call. Bless her heart.

Yeah, I may be thin-skinned. I know I am. Some of you are not and want to hear it straight. Doctors and therapists work with all of us. They're learning, too. I'm working harder at managing my own expectations, calling people out when I think they're out line (politely), and walking away if I feel like it won't be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There has to be a special place in hell for the people who are condescending/mean/judgmental to vulnerable SN parents.

This.