parents visiting for more than two weeks and we don't get along

[Anonymous]

Dealing with the gifts takes time and energy most moms don't have. Gifts should be limited to birthdays and Christmas. As soon as the grandparents leave, the kids are using the toys as weapons and mom is ripping her hair out. I wouldn't let the gift issue go. Really people will be okay if they don't give gifts. Giving has gotten so out of hand that now people are afraid they'll hurt the giver's feelings by saying it's enough already. Soon it will be Christmas and we'll start getting posts about too much stuff. Let's stop the madness now before the Christmas shopping season starts.

[Anonymous]

Op, previous posters gave you a good advises how to draw the line. Please, keep in mind that your children are observing your relations with parents and they are learning how to treat the parents. One day, it can be your child who can't stand you for more than a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, previous posters gave you a good advises how to draw the line. Please, keep in mind that your children are observing your relations with parents and they are learning how to treat the parents. One day, it can be your child who can't stand you for more than a week.

If OP has boundaries, she won't have to worry.

Why should anyone have to eat shit just because it's being served by a family member?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, previous posters gave you a good advises how to draw the line. Please, keep in mind that your children are observing your relations with parents and they are learning how to treat the parents. One day, it can be your child who can't stand you for more than a week.

If OP has boundaries, she won't have to worry.

Why should anyone have to eat shit just because it's being served by a family member?

OP here. Update: my parents are still here. We also have an infant who cries and screams a lot every morning. He's just in a phase, we think. But as most parents know, yeah, it's not an easy time. So, my parents drop by to visit again and I tell them, he's been screaming all morning, he's just in a mood. It's been a rough morning for us, I say.

Their response: "Welcome to the real world. That's what babies do. Deal with it."

No empathy.

To the post it says it can be me one day, it will most certainly be me if I'm unable to say something supportive to my exhausted son and DIL. And will, if that is me, I will most certainly deserve the wrath.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have a messed up family.

[Anonymous]

You need to set natural boundaries and you do not need to be confrontational about it. Some examples:

1) We are going to the zoo on Saturday and would love for you to join us for whatever part of the day seems right for you.

2) We are to the park this afternoon at 4pm for 2 hours, would you like to join us?

3) I need to go shopping, should I leave grandchildren with you or should I take them?

4) DH and I have a date night on Saturday, do you want to babysit grandchildren or should I get a sitter?

5) DH and I are tired and are planning to go to bed a 9PM tomorrow. You are welcome to stay as late as you would like but these kids just have a tuckered out.

6) We are ordering Chinese Food for dinner on Thursday and would like to know if there is anything in particular that you would like for us to include.

Key is to live your life and include them in everything that you can. Ignore all other superfluous comments from them. If they are couch potato people, they will not join in much but if they are looking to participate then they will be active in your life. Either way you win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, previous posters gave you a good advises how to draw the line. Please, keep in mind that your children are observing your relations with parents and they are learning how to treat the parents. One day, it can be your child who can't stand you for more than a week.

If OP has boundaries, she won't have to worry.

Why should anyone have to eat shit just because it's being served by a family member?

OP here. Update: my parents are still here. We also have an infant who cries and screams a lot every morning. He's just in a phase, we think. But as most parents know, yeah, it's not an easy time. So, my parents drop by to visit again and I tell them, he's been screaming all morning, he's just in a mood. It's been a rough morning for us, I say.

Their response: "Welcome to the real world. That's what babies do. Deal with it."

No empathy.

To the post it says it can be me one day, it will most certainly be me if I'm unable to say something supportive to my exhausted son and DIL. And will, if that is me, I will most certainly deserve the wrath.

OP, make plans as you would normally, not factoring in your parents. What would you be doing today if they were not here? What would you be doing tomorrow? Do those things. Just don't participate. They're not staying at your house.