A vent - Disney dad annoys me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the kid?

Going into 2nd grade. Aside from food, it's been our easiest transition yet. I just can't wait for ds to get back into eating our normal food and stop throwing fits over it. He ate so well last year, and I hate having to start over.

[Anonymous]

Going into second grade, he's old enough to stop throwing fits over food. However, going from his dad's house to yours is probably a pretty big transition.

Take a deep breath, wait him out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He may not show it now, but he will appreciate the stability and the grown up parenting when he's older.

Hang in there, OP.

Well, as he grows up the charm of being stuffed with junk food will wear off.

In the meantime, when your son gets home from a summer at dads plan a few fun outings - treats and fun times included.
A weekend at the beach? A baseball game? Trip to the zoo? A waterpark?
Ease into the non Disney life at home.

[Anonymous]

Going into second grade, he's old enough to stop throwing fits over food. However, going from his dad's house to yours is probably a pretty big transition.

I agree with this. My son is the same age. My ex and I have different rules about a lot of things, although I will say that in our case both sets of rules seem to be more within the bounds of reasonableness. Sometimes my son will complain that I'm meaner or more strict than his dad. I don't give it much traction - just say "hmm, maybe so, I know it is hard to have to keep track of two sets of rules in two different places, but these are the rules here and they aren't going to change." If he has a fit, which is rare, I'll go into my home office and lock the door and ignore him. He's old enough to be by himself for a bit, and he usually gets bored with it and lonely after a few minutes.

[Anonymous]

Maybe its not so much about the food but missing his dad. Maybe he had a great time and is upset about coming home even though he loves you equally and wants to be with you too. 7 is a tuff age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. You two need to grow up and become better coparents for your child's sake.

Not possible when one of them is an abuser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. You two need to grow up and become better coparents for your child's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going into second grade, he's old enough to stop throwing fits over food. However, going from his dad's house to yours is probably a pretty big transition.

Take a deep breath, wait him out.

I bet the fits are also about being tired if dad isn't good about putting him to bed at a normal bedtime. Many reasons. Kids have fits, not just mine my friend's too. They're not adults yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is back from summer at dads. He ate (according to dad) m&m yogurt every day for lunch at camp, and popcorn chicken and fries for dinner every day. He only drinks juice and soda at dads too. This is out of my control. I get it.

But I'm really annoyed because now he's home and I don't have the same policy. So my kid hasn't eaten dinner in THREE DAYS because he now hates tacos, chicken thighs, and whatever we had 3 nights ago. He's not eating his school lunch because it's not full of sugar and candy. So he's hungry. And I have to listen to the tantrums and screaming while he readjusts to the real world. IT SUCKS. And my child's dentist was worried about him being deficient in something, so the pediatrician was worried about the child's diet. Guess what ex??? You're so damned worried about deficiencies and yet you don't feed him healthy food!! THERE IS A CONNECTION!

Ok I'm done. I'm going to go give a screaming hungry child a shower now. This sucks.

Oof. I'm sorry OP. I get it. I've been there. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

It's funny, I occasionally get flak from my ex for little things, like that I forgot to give my daughter breakfast the other day on the way to camp. (we were rushed, she wouldn't get out of bed, and she forgot to remind me!) (And this has literally happened once on my watch, in almost 8 years.)

But this is a guy who, after McDonald's came out with all-day breakfast, literally took her to McDonald's for every single one of their shared meals for like 3 weeks straight. He was packing egg mcmuffins in her lunchbox. So I take his criticism with a grain of salt.

Hang in there, OP. unfortunately we have limited control over what our exes do with our children. As your child gets older, you can hold him more responsible for his own food choices. And it won't kill him to miss a meal or two if he doesn't want to eat what you're serving.

[Anonymous]

OP here. 13:04, that's me too. My ex loves to criticize my parenting. Especially the fact that I don't feed him McDonalds more often, and that I won't make sure to feed him things he likes so that he eats.

Which doesn't mean we never eat things he likes. It just means we have a variety, and that desserts are small and not filling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. You two need to grow up and become better coparents for your child's sake.

Not possible when one of them is an abuser.

This.

People who have never experienced abuse by a partner don't understand you simply can't coparent with the abuser. They view any interaction as another shot at breaking you down. The best defense is to really limit contact with them.

[Anonymous]

My kids spend the entire summer with their dad in another state, and they started when my youngest was going into second grade. We have never had this problem. From the beginning, we told them that dad's rules were at his house and my rules at my house. No arguments. They have always transitioned with no problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going into 2nd grade. Aside from food, it's been our easiest transition yet. I just can't wait for ds to get back into eating our normal food and stop throwing fits over it. He ate so well last year, and I hate having to start over.

At that age? He will eat if he is hungry (unless he has an underlying health concern that you didn't mention here).
Put your foot down. You are not dad (and I am one of those children of divorced parents who constantly threatened her mom with "if x, I will move in with daddy" - of course daddy didn't want me full time but...). Your house, your rules, your dinner. He eats his school lunch and dinner you prepare for him or he does not. His choice. If you know that he used to eat what you are serving before he stayed with dad, he will turn around again.
Good luck and hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids spend the entire summer with their dad in another state, and they started when my youngest was going into second grade. We have never had this problem. From the beginning, we told them that dad's rules were at his house and my rules at my house. No arguments. They have always transitioned with no problems.

OP here. This isn't helpful, because it sounds like your ex is a normal human.

Currently my child is "in trouble" at dads because he forgot to tell the pediatrician something small, and my ex said that he (ex) got in trouble because of it.

Basically, he's a man child. And he's determined to make my house the "bad house" so that my child will be willing to tell a judge that DC wants to live with dad when he's old enough.