Are your teens cool or nerds?

[Anonymous]

I think all three of my kids are in the middle. Nerdy until late high school or college, then "cool-ish". Cool enough to join greek life and/or go on trips, concerts, outing with groups of friends, but somewhat on the periphery of these cool groups rather than dead center. I personally think this is the best place to be -- well liked with good social skills but independent enough to avoid the pressure that comes along with being really "cool."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My opdest is a nerd, but fcps is a great place to be a nerd. It is the mothership calling home all thenerds.

My younger two are smart, but happen to have befriended more of the "cool" jock type kids. I think it is harder to be a cool/smart kid around here. Right around late elementary school that circle starts disparaging smart kids or kids who do really well in school. My second has mentioned that several of his jock buddies have started making comments about how school is stupid, smart kids are not fun to hang out with, not to be too smart or you will get made fun of, etc.

I think it is harder to be yourself around here when you hang with the cool or jock kids. The geeks in general seek to be more accepting.

Interesting. At my high school, many of the "jocks" were also great students.

I did not say these kids are not smart. They are. But they are definitely towing the line that being smart is geeky or not desireable or cool. They act like being smart is something to hide.

This is older elementary by the way.

My oldest had friends who were very smart who also happened to be good at sports. But they weren't tied up in identifying as a "jock" or cool and were actualoy quite geeky in tyeir academic interests.

There is much more peer pressure for my jock kid to not be too smart or geeky than for my geeky kid to be anything but himself.

[Anonymous]

Neither

They have tons of friends, get goodish grades, play sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a "loser" kid? You know a kid with no friends and no real interest or hobbies. I always wonder what their parents think.

Cool in HS parent with loser kid here. He looks back at my pictures of the football team and cheerleader girlfriends, and I think he sort of wants that for himself. I love my kid and desperately want to him to know it's ok not to be cool but it's important to like yourself.

The so-called cool kids in my HS were drinking and partying. At some point I realized how pointless it was and started studying hard and pulled away from that crowd. My old cool friends now work at car dealerships or are realtors.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the Top 1/10 of the 1% I don't know ANY cool people in this universe.

I do, however, know aspirationals outside this group. They are cool and really look like a million.

[Anonymous]

Freaky smart nerds and I thank my lucky stars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a "loser" kid? You know a kid with no friends and no real interest or hobbies. I always wonder what their parents think.

Cool in HS parent with loser kid here. He looks back at my pictures of the football team and cheerleader girlfriends, and I think he sort of wants that for himself. I love my kid and desperately want to him to know it's ok not to be cool but it's important to like yourself.

The so-called cool kids in my HS were drinking and partying. At some point I realized how pointless it was and started studying hard and pulled away from that crowd. My old cool friends now work at car dealerships or are realtors.

Whoa. Anger issues?

[Anonymous]

"You see us as you want to see us—in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...and an athlete...and a basket case...a princess...and a criminal. Does that answer your question?"

[Anonymous]

Both mine are cool nerds, I'd say.

[Anonymous]

Not sure. Teachers always say both well liked. My son get kicked in a bit though - he a decent athlete and an average student at a hard private school. My daughter is the sweetest girl and both have one "best friend" and a few others but neither seem to be into the "cool crowd" fine with me as long as they are happy. I worry more about my son who seems to want more friends. He switched school last year which has been hard. Previously, he had a good group of guy friends that we try to still keep up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure. Teachers always say both well liked. My son get kicked in a bit though - he a decent athlete and an average student at a hard private school. My daughter is the sweetest girl and both have one "best friend" and a few others but neither seem to be into the "cool crowd" fine with me as long as they are happy. I worry more about my son who seems to want more friends. He switched school last year which has been hard. Previously, he had a good group of guy friends that we try to still keep up with.

Picked on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a "loser" kid? You know a kid with no friends and no real interest or hobbies. I always wonder what their parents think.

This describes one of ds's friends. He has some pretty bad anxiety issues. Going to school is about as much as he can handle in a day.

My ds is on the honor roll, was in band, plays sports. Cool or nerd? I have no idea but he has some pretty good friends and is happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a "loser" kid? You know a kid with no friends and no real interest or hobbies. I always wonder what their parents think.

They worry incessantly...

But sometimes our "loser kids" really aren't what they seem and have active engaged lives outside of school that they just don't talk about at school.

[Anonymous]

I think my teens are cool. I don't know or care what anyone else thinks.

[Anonymous]

I am still trying to figure them out