How to ...gently tell coworker she should seek help?

[Anonymous]

See if she can use your employee assistance program (EAP) or the counseling center associated with her law school. And encourage her that getting help is healthy and positive and good for her career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a summer associate working for us...college student. She is finishing up next week. She is working under me. She somehow failed to mention she has auditory processing disorder (that just came out last Friday) and that this is reaaaally difficult for her. Tonight, we were wrapping things up at the office, just she and I left, and I look over at her and she is crying at her computer. I ask her what's up and she gives me this whole story about how she'll never be normal, how she feels so worthless, how she's embarrassing our company, etc. I didn't really know what to do, but it seems pretty clear these are NOT normal feelings and that she has an anxiety disorder or somethings.

Sounds like a very immature young lady and a nightmare to work with. She needs to grow up.

Okay, your firm is a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't have an anxiety disorder. She is upset because everything is a struggle for her, and it's frustrating as hell. God. You think just because someone cries it means they need to seek help? They need a damn tissue. They need privacy or a hug from a loved one. She was having a moment.

This.

I have a chronic physical condition that leaves me in constant, extreme pain. (I have a slate of doctors who help me manage.) I do well 95% of the time, but some days, it just gets to me. It's exhausting and frustrating to have something that should be simple be such a challenge.

So I take a few minutes, feel sorry for myself, have a good cry, get a hug from my husband, and I go back to my life.

It's completely natural to have a few minutes where you feel sorry for yourself and need to release the stress and tension. That doesn't mean she has an anxiety disorder.

[Anonymous]

You don't. Mind your business before you get named in a disability-based employment discrimination lawsuit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larla, I'm so glad that you felt comfortable enough opening up to me and explaining the difficulties you've been having. I don't think you are giving off the impressions that you fear you've left with the rest of the team. I want to see you succeed in this program. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help or if you need suggestions for resources that can help your current situation here at the Acme Corporation.

+1

I think this is about right. an "attagirl" (assuming its not totally a lie) and an offer of resources if she is interested (if you have such a thing). you might want to check with hr first, I suppose, but I would probably let mostly human empathy guide you here. crying at work has happened to many people sooner or later. it is not necessarily a huge red flag for anything. if she is struggling with a disorder, she may already have all the resources she needs.

[Anonymous]

Larla, I'm so glad that you felt comfortable enough opening up to me and explaining the difficulties you've been having. I don't think you are giving off the impressions that you fear you've left with the rest of the team. I want to see you succeed in this program. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help or if you need suggestions for resources that can help your current situation here at the Acme Corporation.


You are lovely. I hope someone gives you a hug and appreciates you today.

+1 Very cold and canned. I wonder if anyone knows how to be responsive to another human being these days.

How about just listening to her and not saying anything? Just be quiet and give her your time. She's young and trying to figure things out. She's opening up to you and you're telling her to use other resources? Nice. Don't make her feel that she is a bother to you. Because, yeah, that will make her feel a whole lot better.

[Anonymous]

Can you imagine if every coworker acted like this? If the office was filled with people crying at their desks and unable to make it through the day? Life is tough. This lady needs to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine if every coworker acted like this? If the office was filled with people crying at their desks and unable to make it through the day? Life is tough. This lady needs to grow up.

She's barely an adult. She's in college. She's learning how to be mature. I can't tell you how many times I stepped out of my office and called my mother crying hysterically that work was too hard, I couldn't understand what my bosses wanted, I didn't know what to do, I was going to get fired, I wasn't competent to be a grownup, and I just couldn't understand even after asking for clarification several times. I have many severe learning disabilities. I'm no longer in my 20s and calling home crying - now I can save it until I'm home and cry then. But it's still really, really hard.

Work on having some compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine if every coworker acted like this? If the office was filled with people crying at their desks and unable to make it through the day? Life is tough. This lady needs to grow up.

Can you imagine if every coworker were as callous and unfeeling as you? If every office were [that's the subjunctive tense, by the way] filled with people who sat at their desks rolling their eyes when other people have legitimate health issues? Why, when you eventually have a health issue, they will probably tell you that life is tough and fire you! You need to get your head out of your ass before that happens.

[Anonymous]

It's important to be kind and caring, but don't blur the lines by encouraging her to confide in you. Don't let her overshare, get her to find an appropriate outlet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a summer associate working for us...college student. She is finishing up next week. She is working under me. She somehow failed to mention she has auditory processing disorder (that just came out last Friday) and that this is reaaaally difficult for her. Tonight, we were wrapping things up at the office, just she and I left, and I look over at her and she is crying at her computer. I ask her what's up and she gives me this whole story about how she'll never be normal, how she feels so worthless, how she's embarrassing our company, etc. I didn't really know what to do, but it seems pretty clear these are NOT normal feelings and that she has an anxiety disorder or somethings.

Sounds like a very immature young lady and a nightmare to work with. She needs to grow up.

Cry at the bar like the rest of us. DUH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't have an anxiety disorder. She is upset because everything is a struggle for her, and it's frustrating as hell. God. You think just because someone cries it means they need to seek help? They need a damn tissue. They need privacy or a hug from a loved one. She was having a moment.

Plus q

[Anonymous]

Why did you wait until now? If it were closer in time, you could have talked to her about it, but now it will be awkward to bring it up again.