Need advice. DS wants to play a varsity fall sport senior year WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that your son--who is almost an adult and who has to date successfully managed his school and sports responsibilities--has earned the right to make this decision himself.

+1. If he can't make this decision now & deal with whatever the consequences are, both positive and negative, how in the world will he be able to handle making all of his own decisions next year at college, including much more significant decisions than whether to play a school sport? His future, his efforts, his plans, so his choice.

[Anonymous]

Leave him alone, it's his life, his decisions to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that your son--who is almost an adult and who has to date successfully managed his school and sports responsibilities--has earned the right to make this decision himself.

When he saves up the money to pay for college, then he can be 100% autonomous.

Wait a minute. We are not talking about life-altering circumstances here. It's not like OP's DS wants to play a sport but OP doesn't think he should because he is barely passing his classes and he needs to focus on his grades and tests so he can get into any college. This is a kid who is doing very well in school already. You don't think that kid--who is almost an adult-- deserves some say in how he spends his time? Apparently you believe there is no difference between an 18 year old and an 8 year old, and that they should be treated the same? Sorry, that's just bullshit.

Further, one should reserve draconian consequences/punishments--such as refusing to pay for college if a child doesn't do what you want--for serious problems. OP's DS wants to play a sport, not shoot heroin. FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS wants to play a varsity fall sport senior year. He has has played Varsity sports all through HS. It is a big time commitment, but he loves it. However, he has a dream of going to a top 10 college, and he has put of LOT of work into that -- not for college sports. His GPA and ACT scores put him in a position of 'almost but not quite..." He wants to have a senior year varsity experience. I feel he should be studying, not to mention college applications and visits. Anyone BTDT and have advice? What to say?

If he ends up at Michigan or Washington University in St. Louis, would it really be the end of the world?

My DS played a fall varsity sport and these were 2 of his choices. Chose Michigan and it definitely hasn't been the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

In today's admissions game, the odds are super slim that he will get into a "top 10" college anyway, even with excellent scores. It's just the way the percentages work. Playing the varsity sport is more likely to put him over the top than a few more points on the scores.

I can't believe you're even asking this in the first place. All the damn tests do is line the pockets of the testing services. Let your kid live his life. As others have said, it's not like he's a D student taking heroin.

[Anonymous]

So OP should wait until he is a D student taking heroin before talking to her son ?

[Anonymous]

This is his choice and not yours to make. Both choices are good ones, and there's no guarantee the extra time would improve his grades anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High school athletes do better academically in the seasons they play than the seasons they don't. Let him play -- it's a win-win (and a no-brainer).

That is the excuse every coach gives.

It's not an "excuse"; it's an argument in favor of playing sports -- and a darn powerful one.

Here's another: If OP's son suddenly quits playing his senior year (after previously being a varsity athlete) and his grades drop (even a little) at the same time, that's a HUGE red flag for college admissions committees. It says, "I probably have developed substance abuse problems and/or emotional challenges -- I'm a risk you probably don't want to take."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS wants to play a varsity fall sport senior year. He has has played Varsity sports all through HS. It is a big time commitment, but he loves it. However, he has a dream of going to a top 10 college, and he has put of LOT of work into that -- not for college sports. His GPA and ACT scores put him in a position of 'almost but not quite..." He wants to have a senior year varsity experience. I feel he should be studying, not to mention college applications and visits. Anyone BTDT and have advice? What to say?

Let him play -- schools do look for well rounded students - they'll take a 85 student who is involved vs. a 95 student who does nothing BUT study. At this point schools look at what he's ALREADY done for grades anyway so he needs to enjoy his senior year NOT to the point of not doing well academically but, if he enjoys the sport he should play!

College visits should already be in the works and some completed already anyway -- if not, schedule some for the next 2 weeks before school does start!!

Try to relax Mom and enjoy this precious time with DS!

[Anonymous]

What if he doesn't play and still does not get in a top ten college? How will you feel then?


FWIW, my son played and lots of kids quit their senior year--not because they were studying, but because they were partying. I always found my kid more focused when playing. Some of the kids only played prior to senior year in order to get it on their applications. Your son obviously loves to be on the team. Let him play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP should wait until he is a D student taking heroin before talking to her son ?

I hope OP is talking to her son about a lot of things. Whether or not playing a beloved sport is keeping a strong student out of a "top 10" college isn't one of them.

[Anonymous]

Does this sport make him happy?

Happiness is underrated...

[Anonymous]

Discuss the pros and cons of playing a sport during his senior year and let him decide what he wants to do. Ultimately he is the one who will be living with the consequences of that choice. He could play the sport and still get into the college of his choice. He could drop out of the sport and not make it into the college of his choice. There are no guarantees either way.

Good luck. As a parent myself, I know this is hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he has played varsity sports for the last few years and still hasn't gotten "almost but not quite" grades and scores, perhaps it is the best he can do. Don't make him quit something he enjoys. It could backfire.

Also how much attention to colleges pay to fall semester senior year? I think if he hasn't gotten the grades by now, will fall semester make a difference?

[Anonymous]

Fall semester Sr year = Spring jr year in terms of importance.