What should I/we make sure to do before child leaves for college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my first time. Other than shopping for supplies is there anything else we should be thinking about? Perhaps that is all there is, but just wondering. Thanks

The only things that were somewhat out of the ordinary were that we had to bring our DS's birth certificate for his campus job and we had to arrange for reciprocity with our health insurance bc he was going to college in Wisconsin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well too late now, but I hope you have sent them away on overnight enrichment camps that simulates going off to college or a summer abroad. This makes the transition a bit easier I think. I disagree with the parents who want to dump and leave at drop off for college. I think it's nice to go a few days early and explore campus and the surrounding area together. Let them know where the restaurants, drug stores, grocery and coffee shops are. If they don't feel quite so disoriented then they are more likely to go out and explore instead of staying in a pattern of the same dinning hall and same smoothie shop for a whole year. Make sure they get on the freshman FB page and ask if anyone is from their area. Make sure they reach out to roommates before the start of classes. Get a nespresso.

Most of this is what the college students/young adults should figure out on their own. Really!?! Mom and dad have to help the kid find a drug store??? This is called growing up, being on your own, being responsible. If your kid can't find a coffee shop on their own or with their new friends maybe they're not ready for college.

I think college freshman would have fun making new friends by talking about/ doing some of the above with new friends on campus. When I went to college, we had a whole week after the first day before school started to get oriented and make friends and settle in. Mom drove me, saw my dorm, and left. That was in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Make sure they have a paper copy of all family phone numbers etc. After Hurricane Sandy a lot of places had no electricity so kids couldn't charge their phones or computers and hadn't memorized numbers. Make sure they know procedure for going to ER if needed, bring health card, picture ID, list of meds, don't leave without written directions, receipt, prescription procedure. If they have a wall calendar write in Grandma's birthday etc.

[Anonymous]

Make it a point to look them in the eye and tell them if they screw up that you will forgive them and that they should not be afraid to tell you, and to fess up earlier than later makes it easier to fix things, usually. This is if it is the kind of thing parents need to know that will eventually come out, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make it a point to look them in the eye and tell them if they screw up that you will forgive them and that they should not be afraid to tell you, and to fess up earlier than later makes it easier to fix things, usually. This is if it is the kind of thing parents need to know that will eventually come out, anyway.

trust but verify...

[Anonymous]

I told my daughter to speak up if something was wrong and needed to be reported. I would hope she would know that, but I felt better just saying it.


Also, if something happened and she should be questioned by a cop she should politely ask for a phone call to a parent or attorney before answering questions, unless someone's life was in danger, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meningitis vaccine

and gardasil

and birth control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things we did:
told the kids to expect to lose their voices/get colds within the first month of arriving. Sent them with honey, tea, hot water kettle thingy, mug
showed each (boy and girl) were nearest planned parenthood was. gave DD Plan B.
arranged for twice-weekly check-ins, and once weekly family Facetimes.

We brought each kid to school and helped them set up their dorm rooms. We then took them out for a meal, and then left.

What a weird list!! I'm so glad you're not my parent...blurgh.

[Anonymous]

Sending DD off in one year. This summer and into the school year, we're making a concerted effort to take care of some "big" health-related issues like wisdom teeth extraction and medical evaluations.

We opened a student/minor checking and savings account (we have access to this) with ATM card for her. She is getting in the habit of having her summer job money direct deposited into her account and managing her spending money.

I also have her going through her room slowly to downsize. Slow and steady, but she's organized and realizing she doesn't need so much stuff.

[Anonymous]

Make sure they know how to do laundry (without ruining it!) and how to iron clothes, in case they have an interview or important event.

Talk to them about how to be a good friend when it comes to helping out others who have had too much to drink, and under what circumstances they need to call for help.

[Anonymous]

We're about to send our third child to college. My advice: try to do some of the stuff that folks have suggested here, but don't sweat it if you don't get to it. Your kid will figure it out (even if s/he hasn't attended an "overnight enrichment" camp as a PP suggested was essential ). Most important thing to do: have some fun over the summer as a family and be sure to tell your kid that you love and are proud of him/her.

[Anonymous]

Buy bare bones dorm crap, don't go for everything. Let them tell you in a month what else they may need. Each kid is differnt, some are best do the set up the room, take out to lunch/dinner and OG, others may need more time. You know your child best. If the college has a freshman orientation thingie before the rest of the school gets to campus, they will separate the parents and kids the first event. You leave, the kids stay.

I have boys, so my list will be different.

They will need a credit card. Low max balance
They will need a bank account with an ATM card.
They will need sheets, blanket/comforter, shower bucket, two sets of towels/wash clothes, beach towel, rug(frequently required),small fridge (no need for a microwave), shower shoes, a cup/fork/knife/spoon,plate,mug, small cutting board.
Buy them new underwear and new socks every fall.
Make sure they have detergent for clothes washing and deodorant to last until winter break, and Clorox wipes.
Don't worry about snack and drinks- they can get them.
Don't worry about what should be on the walls, they will figure that out themselves.
Buy them some university logo stuff. (T-shirt, shorts?)

Have a few conversations over the summer about safety. Talk to them about being the guy that girls trust and to look out for anyone who may be making inappropriate choices and help them in the moment get to a safe place. Being kind and helpful goes a long way. Do not leave your drink, have it in your hand at all times. No sex when drunk or with anyone who is. Join a fun club that interests you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well too late now, but I hope you have sent them away on overnight enrichment camps that simulates going off to college or a summer abroad. This makes the transition a bit easier I think. I disagree with the parents who want to dump and leave at drop off for college. I think it's nice to go a few days early and explore campus and the surrounding area together. Let them know where the restaurants, drug stores, grocery and coffee shops are. If they don't feel quite so disoriented then they are more likely to go out and explore instead of staying in a pattern of the same dinning hall and same smoothie shop for a whole year. Make sure they get on the freshman FB page and ask if anyone is from their area. Make sure they reach out to roommates before the start of classes. Get a nespresso.

Most of this is what the college students/young adults should figure out on their own. Really!?! Mom and dad have to help the kid find a drug store??? This is called growing up, being on your own, being responsible. If your kid can't find a coffee shop on their own or with their new friends maybe they're not ready for college.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy bare bones dorm crap, don't go for everything. Let them tell you in a month what else they may need. Each kid is differnt, some are best do the set up the room, take out to lunch/dinner and OG, others may need more time. You know your child best. If the college has a freshman orientation thingie before the rest of the school gets to campus, they will separate the parents and kids the first event. You leave, the kids stay.

I have boys, so my list will be different.

They will need a credit card. Low max balance
They will need a bank account with an ATM card.
They will need sheets, blanket/comforter, shower bucket, two sets of towels/wash clothes, beach towel, rug(frequently required),small fridge (no need for a microwave), shower shoes, a cup/fork/knife/spoon,plate,mug, small cutting board.
Buy them new underwear and new socks every fall.
Make sure they have detergent for clothes washing and deodorant to last until winter break, and Clorox wipes.
Don't worry about snack and drinks- they can get them.
Don't worry about what should be on the walls, they will figure that out themselves.
Buy them some university logo stuff. (T-shirt, shorts?)

Have a few conversations over the summer about safety. Talk to them about being the guy that girls trust and to look out for anyone who may be making inappropriate choices and help them in the moment get to a safe place. Being kind and helpful goes a long way. Do not leave your drink, have it in your hand at all times. No sex when drunk or with anyone who is. Join a fun club that interests you.

As the parent of a girl, I love your advice to be the guy that girls trust, etc. If your son takes your words to heart, he will be the most popular guy on campus to most girls, and the guy many mothers hope their girls befriend.

Kudos to you for such wonderful, protective advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meningitis vaccine

There are (at least) two now. C is standard (required? My kid got hers with all the other typical ones), but B is also available in the US.