Not dropping off for a 7 year old's birthday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be explicit in the invitation if it's drop off. Otherwise your guests don't know what to do. That's a general plea to birthday party hosts. I hate getting ambiguous invites.

As a guest, I don't assume it's ok to drop of unless the invite says it's ok. Some parents don't do drop-off parties at this age for a specific reason and that's fine. (Examples: the place is very far away, something that requires one-on-one supervision like rock climbing.) But people just need to know what the host is planning and expecting.

You're not getting invited - your kid is!

Yes, of course you're right. My 7 year old often checks his email and repies to the invitation himself. He also drives himself to and from the party.

??????????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be explicit in the invitation if it's drop off. Otherwise your guests don't know what to do. That's a general plea to birthday party hosts. I hate getting ambiguous invites.

As a guest, I don't assume it's ok to drop of unless the invite says it's ok. Some parents don't do drop-off parties at this age for a specific reason and that's fine. (Examples: the place is very far away, something that requires one-on-one supervision like rock climbing.) But people just need to know what the host is planning and expecting.

If it's far away, you go somewhere else in the interim, like Barnes and Noble. And no rock climbing birthday party set up for kids is going to require parental supervision.

Wrong. Went to a 6 year old party where it was very much required. Some place in Rockville.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be explicit in the invitation if it's drop off. Otherwise your guests don't know what to do. That's a general plea to birthday party hosts. I hate getting ambiguous invites.

As a guest, I don't assume it's ok to drop of unless the invite says it's ok. Some parents don't do drop-off parties at this age for a specific reason and that's fine. (Examples: the place is very far away, something that requires one-on-one supervision like rock climbing.) But people just need to know what the host is planning and expecting.

If it's far away, you go somewhere else in the interim, like Barnes and Noble. And no rock climbing birthday party set up for kids is going to require parental supervision.

Wrong. Went to a 6 year old party where it was very much required. Some place in Rockville.

Correction, it was in Laurel, MD. ClimbZone. Their website says kids under 12 require active adult supervision, which is conservative. But the auto-belaying clips are tricky and require a decent amount of hand strength to clip and unclip properly. Every kid at the party was supervised. The invitation told parents the deal and said a parent would need to come with the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Just let me know politely and I'll comply. Even at 7, our group is a mix. I don't drop off at swim parties though, my one exception.

+1. Just let her know.

I recently had to stay at a birthday party b/c my almost-8 year old felt nervous - it was a camp friend who we hadn;t seen since last summer and she didn't know any of the kids there. the mom was very gracious once i sent her an email - and if she'd said "hey, i'd prefer not to have other adults b/c of ANY REASON" i'd have said, no problem, we'll drop the gift and head out.

[Anonymous]

I think what you were planning to say sounds perfect. I would do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Thanks to all for sanity-checking me. I reached out to the mom and she was relieved to hear drop-off was okay. Whew!

Great! These things are usually just awkward misunderstandings. I know plenty of moms who don't really want to stay but don't want you think that they are throwing their kid at you and expecting you to take responsibility if you don't want to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I wouldn't write "enjoy your night off ... etc"

as its not addressing the issue directly and its rude, frankly. "

I know. Why do women always do this? Learn to put on your big girl panties and say what you actually mean. Don't be afraid. Get some backbone.

In my experience its not just "women" - its both men and women who want to be polite but are afraid that addressing the issue is confrontational, which it doesn't have to be. Everyone is human, lighten up PP you don't have to bash women.

[Anonymous]

Call her and explain the situation. Jeez this isn't hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I wouldn't write "enjoy your night off ... etc"

as its not addressing the issue directly and its rude, frankly. "

I know. Why do women always do this? Learn to put on your big girl panties and say what you actually mean. Don't be afraid. Get some backbone.

In my experience its not just "women" - its both men and women who want to be polite but are afraid that addressing the issue is confrontational, which it doesn't have to be. Everyone is human, lighten up PP you don't have to bash women.

Bullshit. There is no [straight, normal] man alive who, when he intends to say "this is a drop off only party," will instead come out with "enjoy your night off!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I wouldn't write "enjoy your night off ... etc"

as its not addressing the issue directly and its rude, frankly. "

I know. Why do women always do this? Learn to put on your big girl panties and say what you actually mean. Don't be afraid. Get some backbone.

In my experience its not just "women" - its both men and women who want to be polite but are afraid that addressing the issue is confrontational, which it doesn't have to be. Everyone is human, lighten up PP you don't have to bash women.

Bullshit. There is no [straight, normal] man alive who, when he intends to say "this is a drop off only party," will instead come out with "enjoy your night off!"

Huh, I know plenty. Seems like you know some weirdos.

OP, sounds like they just didn't know. We had a party for our 6 year old at a bounce house last year and I was dismayed to learn AFTER booking that they required each child to have a parent or guardian on site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I was welcome to stay with my toddler when my friend hosted a dinner and movie night for 8 year olds, but that was because we were close, I could help her and provide some conversation.

I agree that if you are not close to this other parent, you should gently tell her that this is a drop-off party.

Pretty sure the mom was just being polite if you were hanging out and was hoping you would say no. Who in the world wants a toddler in the house when they are already entertaining 8yr old?. Some people are so naive and truly believe people want them hanging about at parties. GO HOME!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was welcome to stay with my toddler when my friend hosted a dinner and movie night for 8 year olds, but that was because we were close, I could help her and provide some conversation.

I agree that if you are not close to this other parent, you should gently tell her that this is a drop-off party.

Pretty sure the mom was just being polite if you were hanging out and was hoping you would say no. Who in the world wants a toddler in the house when they are already entertaining 8yr old?. Some people are so naive and truly believe people want them hanging about at parties. GO HOME!

Really?! No need for yelling. Not pp, but I'd love to chat with a friend and have her toddler hang out rather than just be the sole supervisor of an 8 year old party. I love to hang with friends. What better thing would I be doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call her and explain the situation. Jeez this isn't hard.

its also not hard to skim a 2-page thread and see from OP that the situation was resolved on page 1. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be explicit in the invitation if it's drop off. Otherwise your guests don't know what to do. That's a general plea to birthday party hosts. I hate getting ambiguous invites.

As a guest, I don't assume it's ok to drop of unless the invite says it's ok. Some parents don't do drop-off parties at this age for a specific reason and that's fine. (Examples: the place is very far away, something that requires one-on-one supervision like rock climbing.) But people just need to know what the host is planning and expecting.

You're not getting invited - your kid is!

Yes, but some people get mad when the parents don't stay (happened recently at an age where drop off was the norm)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was welcome to stay with my toddler when my friend hosted a dinner and movie night for 8 year olds, but that was because we were close, I could help her and provide some conversation.

I agree that if you are not close to this other parent, you should gently tell her that this is a drop-off party.

Pretty sure the mom was just being polite if you were hanging out and was hoping you would say no. Who in the world wants a toddler in the house when they are already entertaining 8yr old?. Some people are so naive and truly believe people want them hanging about at parties. GO HOME!

Really?! No need for yelling. Not pp, but I'd love to chat with a friend and have her toddler hang out rather than just be the sole supervisor of an 8 year old party. I love to hang with friends. What better thing would I be doing?

+1 If a good friend wants to keep me company while I deal with a bunch of 8 year olds, I would be grateful!