I don't think my husband respects me

[Anonymous]

Counseling right now.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, CEO types often expect SAHMs to ensure the home is perfect on all fronts. He might attribute (unfairly) some of your son's issues to you and might resent returning to a stressful home at the end of a hard work day. I am not saying you deserve to be disrespected by your spouse--YOU DO NOT--I'm simply trying to think through his side. I agree with the others that you need to demand counseling. Not only is the current state of affairs awful for you, it will not help your son, and your husband is being a terrible role model for him.

[Anonymous]

His behavior toward you IS disrespectful OP.

It is also condescending and a power trip on his part.

Talk to him when things are calm.
Let him know how much it hurts you to be looked down upon on a regular basis and how you are starting to resent it.
Let him know it is absolutely unacceptable to be spoken of like that around your children.

He needs to make a sincere effort to change his ways or you'll be out the door on his dime!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, CEO types often expect SAHMs to ensure the home is perfect on all fronts. He might attribute (unfairly) some of your son's issues to you and might resent returning to a stressful home at the end of a hard work day. I am not saying you deserve to be disrespected by your spouse--YOU DO NOT--I'm simply trying to think through his side. I agree with the others that you need to demand counseling. Not only is the current state of affairs awful for you, it will not help your son, and your husband is being a terrible role model for him.

Op here. I think your analysis is correct. He tends to get very upset if something doesn't get done in his timeline or isn't done to his expectation. He should've married more of a Stepford (sp?) wife.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you married your dad and I'm concerned that your kids will walk into similar dynamics in adulthood if you don't deal with this immediately. You're not doing anything honorable here by staying and dealing with his behavior.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I forgot to add that his behavior is common in men who are in the midst of affairs. Maybe he's not, but I hope that you're saving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you married your dad and I'm concerned that your kids will walk into similar dynamics in adulthood if you don't deal with this immediately. You're not doing anything honorable here by staying and dealing with his behavior.

I didn't marry my dad I married the opposite, hard working, non drinker, steady and responsible. My father was none of those things. Ironically, my father loved my mother and almost always spoke very highly of her. I'd say in their relationship it was my mother who lost respect for my father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I forgot to add that his behavior is common in men who are in the midst of affairs. Maybe he's not, but I hope that you're saving.

Yes. I sadly am aware of that. There was a time several years ago that he acted like this I could never figure out what I had done "wrong" his reactions were not in line with a circumstance, etc. , was highly critical. He was very close to having an affair then and perhaps did I'll never really know. We did counseling He seemed very committed to working on the relationship. But, yes, this feels a bit like that time. He knows I won't put up with another situation. I will leave if that's what's going on. If things don't change re his behavior towards me, we may be headed to divorce any way. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Sadly yes. Affair. ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I forgot to add that his behavior is common in men who are in the midst of affairs. Maybe he's not, but I hope that you're saving.

I wanted to say the same thing but was hoping it wasn't so.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you guys should return to counseling. Maybe I misread, but were you crying in front of your son about your son's issues and then your husband mocked you right then and there? Your husband should not have done that and it was quite disrespectful. But - I say this gently and in no defense of your husband - you might try to keep it more together in front of your son if you were in fact crying in front of him and he is having emotional issues. Have you been in individual counseling? I am sure you must be going through a lot.

[Anonymous]

Are you saving money separately? What especially concerns me is your husband sounds like the rare breed of guy who might cheat and leave himself. As a CEO, he will have better access to attractive women and can probably afford to do so. Hopefully this isn't the case, but I would plan for worst case scenario for yourself and your kids. He has the perfect narrative and justification for doing so, in his mind. How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you saving money separately? What especially concerns me is your husband sounds like the rare breed of guy who might cheat and leave himself. As a CEO, he will have better access to attractive women and can probably afford to do so. Hopefully this isn't the case, but I would plan for worst case scenario for yourself and your kids. He has the perfect narrative and justification for doing so, in his mind. How old are your kids?

Not sure I completely follow. Why does he "have the perfect narrative and justification?" I assume if he leaves I'll be ok financially all assets and accounts are joint. I'm not super into money and I can certainly work again. He's not a jerk in that sense he would be honorable in a divorce I truly believe at least toward the kids. They are 10,13, 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you guys should return to counseling. Maybe I misread, but were you crying in front of your son about your son's issues and then your husband mocked you right then and there? Your husband should not have done that and it was quite disrespectful. But - I say this gently and in no defense of your husband - you might try to keep it more together in front of your son if you were in fact crying in front of him and he is having emotional issues. Have you been in individual counseling? I am sure you must be going through a lot.

Thanks. I realize I should not respond the way I do sometimes i.e. Crying when my son is around when it's about him. He has very difficult outbursts and I sometimes have a hard time handling it. Usually I just walk away, but sometimes it's just overwhelming. My son is in therapy and I see someone off and on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you saving money separately? What especially concerns me is your husband sounds like the rare breed of guy who might cheat and leave himself. As a CEO, he will have better access to attractive women and can probably afford to do so. Hopefully this isn't the case, but I would plan for worst case scenario for yourself and your kids. He has the perfect narrative and justification for doing so, in his mind. How old are your kids?

Not sure I completely follow. Why does he "have the perfect narrative and justification?" I assume if he leaves I'll be ok financially all assets and accounts are joint. I'm not super into money and I can certainly work again. He's not a jerk in that sense he would be honorable in a divorce I truly believe at least toward the kids. They are 10,13, 15.

I am sure he has "access" to attractive women. He's a good looking guy and very successful. Public persona is kind, serious, and smart. While I do t jerk currently, I consider myself all of those things as well. Just trying to say it's not like I've let it all go...