Would you switch your kid's church/synagogue preschool in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Too expensive
2. Too long of a commute
3. You aren't WOWed by the program

Leave. No question.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the transition would be too much to go back to the other preschool or to a different one. I think your objective reasons, commute time and cost, are enough to make a decision.

The decision by the current preschool to keep her in the 2s class is probably sensible, especially considering if her birthday is before or after the cutoff for K -- she's going to be the youngest or the oldest, and better to repeat a 2s year than a 4s year, IMO. I don't know about using scissors, I wouldn't expect a 2 year old or 3 year old to use them proficiently, although some 3 year olds can. And working out the kinks of a brand new school, getting the teachers settled, the board settled, etc., I wouldn't be surprised by some behind-the-scenes drama, but that wouldn't put me off the school if I liked it, otherwise.

I think deciding to go or stay is fine, but I think you may need to adjust your expectations for preschool and for your daughter.

All of those reasons are reasonable - and frankly if it were a larger school with more kids I wouldn't worry at all about the developmental thing because there would at least be some kids who would be close to her development-wise. It just so happens that there aren't here... and I don't want to pay too much and drive too far for something that's just ok.

To be clear about the scissors it wasn't that she didn't know how to use them, it was just their best example of "she gets more frustrated with the older kid activities."

Don't push her. Find her another 2s class in another preschool that's cheaper and closer.

The school we are considering has a 3-5 year old room, and we would wait for a spot in that room. Ironically the last school she was in (where my preference was for her NOT to be moved up as quickly as they wanted to move her) convinced me that because she will be on the old end of the class for the rest of her life and the developmental differences are fewer as they get older, she really needs to be with her developmental-not necessarily age - peers now.

And I think she'll be less frustrated with the scissors by the time she's 3.

[Anonymous]

OP, just based on your posts you sound really difficult. There might be more to this story of why they are not agreeing to what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just based on your posts you sound really difficult. There might be more to this story of why they are not agreeing to what you want.

I'm curious why you think I sound difficult - because if I am coming across that way here I probably am with them too and I definitely don't mean to be. I have not yet found a way to say "I think my child's developmental peers must include older kids" that doesn't come across as gross - is there one?

But if the answer is "they're not giving you what you want because you're a difficult bitch," that is probably even more reason to leave and start over where I'm not paying so much and driving so far that I feel entitled to be WOWED, as another PP put it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are allowed a preference. It's a preference. And, by the way, it's a long parenting road ahead - get comfortable with you as boss.

I'm not sure what you mean by any of this... are you saying that the school doesn't have any obligation to adhere to my preference? I totally agree, and if the school were convenient/not so expensive I wouldn't take her out just for the placement reason for sure. I don't get the "you as boss" thing.

I'm not this PP or the PP who called you difficult, but here is an example. This PP was being supportive and you totally read her wrong and got defensive. She's saying you are allowed to have a preference for which school your child goes to. It doesn't have to be the case that one school is good and one is bad for you to prefer one school over the other. The "you as boss" part means that you get to make decisions for your child. If you don't think a particular school or situation is working, then you have the power to change that. You are the boss.

In other words, she's supporting you in your decision to take charge and move your kid to the school you prefer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are allowed a preference. It's a preference. And, by the way, it's a long parenting road ahead - get comfortable with you as boss.

I'm not sure what you mean by any of this... are you saying that the school doesn't have any obligation to adhere to my preference? I totally agree, and if the school were convenient/not so expensive I wouldn't take her out just for the placement reason for sure. I don't get the "you as boss" thing.

I'm not this PP or the PP who called you difficult, but here is an example. This PP was being supportive and you totally read her wrong and got defensive. She's saying you are allowed to have a preference for which school your child goes to. It doesn't have to be the case that one school is good and one is bad for you to prefer one school over the other. The "you as boss" part means that you get to make decisions for your child. If you don't think a particular school or situation is working, then you have the power to change that. You are the boss.

In other words, she's supporting you in your decision to take charge and move your kid to the school you prefer.

Haha, my tone is definitely not coming off right - I just sincerely didn't understand the comment. I may have incorrectly assumed something about it, but I agreed with what I assumed... Thank you for explaining anyway

[Anonymous]

Is this a preschool or a daycare "school"?

I would leave though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just based on your posts you sound really difficult. There might be more to this story of why they are not agreeing to what you want.

I don't think she sounds difficult. She wanted something particular and has found out perfect doesn't exist and is asking what the best option is. That said, only she knows for sure what is worth it to her family. I am not super religious so I can't relate to that aspect. The age thing wouldn't bother me - in every preschool I've seen, if the kids are let in early they do have to repeat the year when they're the proper age - there's basically too many years so otherwise they just end up repeating PreK which is worse.

[Anonymous]

OP, here's the thing--the kids they want to put her with are going to be her peer group throughout school it sounds like--she has a Fall birthday, right? She will always be in the older side, so may as well put her with those kids now. That said, the school doesn't sound too great and no preschool is worth that type of commute in my mind, though I am not religious so I can't speak to that aspect of it. If it were me, I'd probably change, but not because they want to hold her back to be in the class she should have been in had they not let her start early. Eventually, she would need to repeat a class, right? Sounds like she has another three years before Kindergarten, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's the thing--the kids they want to put her with are going to be her peer group throughout school it sounds like--she has a Fall birthday, right? She will always be in the older side, so may as well put her with those kids now. That said, the school doesn't sound too great and no preschool is worth that type of commute in my mind, though I am not religious so I can't speak to that aspect of it. If it were me, I'd probably change, but not because they want to hold her back to be in the class she should have been in had they not let her start early. Eventually, she would need to repeat a class, right? Sounds like she has another three years before Kindergarten, right?

Right, she has a fall birthday. And I can see how repeating Pre-K would be worse if they will be aging up with the same kids, but she won't be - what we would plan to do is have her do Pre-K at this school then repeat it nearer to our home where the kids she'll meet will be in her public school. I am not so on board with the idea of "class of X" in preschool though, I tend to prefer the preschools that e.g., are either so big that each kid is in a class with only kids within 6 months of their specific age, or have widely mixed-age classrooms where there are both younger and older kids together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just based on your posts you sound really difficult. There might be more to this story of why they are not agreeing to what you want.

I don't think she sounds difficult. She wanted something particular and has found out perfect doesn't exist and is asking what the best option is. That said, only she knows for sure what is worth it to her family. I am not super religious so I can't relate to that aspect. The age thing wouldn't bother me - in every preschool I've seen, if the kids are let in early they do have to repeat the year when they're the proper age - there's basically too many years so otherwise they just end up repeating PreK which is worse.

Thanks, that's exactly right. I feel really embarrassed thinking that it could possibly even BE good enough to overcome the ridiculous commute and expense. That's the part that I struggle with - "sorry, I am realizing a year in that I was insane to even consider this." The age thing doesn't bother me per se, it's just something my brain is using as evidence that our investment is not paying off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's the thing--the kids they want to put her with are going to be her peer group throughout school it sounds like--she has a Fall birthday, right? She will always be in the older side, so may as well put her with those kids now. That said, the school doesn't sound too great and no preschool is worth that type of commute in my mind, though I am not religious so I can't speak to that aspect of it. If it were me, I'd probably change, but not because they want to hold her back to be in the class she should have been in had they not let her start early. Eventually, she would need to repeat a class, right? Sounds like she has another three years before Kindergarten, right?

Right, she has a fall birthday. And I can see how repeating Pre-K would be worse if they will be aging up with the same kids, but she won't be - what we would plan to do is have her do Pre-K at this school then repeat it nearer to our home where the kids she'll meet will be in her public school. I am not so on board with the idea of "class of X" in preschool though, I tend to prefer the preschools that e.g., are either so big that each kid is in a class with only kids within 6 months of their specific age, or have widely mixed-age classrooms where there are both younger and older kids together.

So if you put her in the correct class next year, she will be in a smaller age range than her current class.

You are being difficilt about the age thing. You want the older class to have a larger age spread of which your daughter is several months after the cut off, but are insulted by the idea of your daughter being in a class of kids her age or a few months to maybe ten months younger.

That is being difficult.

You want them to make an accomodation to let your daughter into the older class, but are indignant at the idea of her being placed in the correct class with an age spread less than what you are requesting.

[Anonymous]

Def switch - too many good reasons and so far none for staying except religious schooling which she won't remember in a few years anyway since you aren't doing religious elementary - we have same age issue - I've waffles back and forth and will say most end up repeating a year at some point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's the thing--the kids they want to put her with are going to be her peer group throughout school it sounds like--she has a Fall birthday, right? She will always be in the older side, so may as well put her with those kids now. That said, the school doesn't sound too great and no preschool is worth that type of commute in my mind, though I am not religious so I can't speak to that aspect of it. If it were me, I'd probably change, but not because they want to hold her back to be in the class she should have been in had they not let her start early. Eventually, she would need to repeat a class, right? Sounds like she has another three years before Kindergarten, right?

Right, she has a fall birthday. And I can see how repeating Pre-K would be worse if they will be aging up with the same kids, but she won't be - what we would plan to do is have her do Pre-K at this school then repeat it nearer to our home where the kids she'll meet will be in her public school. I am not so on board with the idea of "class of X" in preschool though, I tend to prefer the preschools that e.g., are either so big that each kid is in a class with only kids within 6 months of their specific age, or have widely mixed-age classrooms where there are both younger and older kids together.

So if you put her in the correct class next year, she will be in a smaller age range than her current class.

You are being difficilt about the age thing. You want the older class to have a larger age spread of which your daughter is several months after the cut off, but are insulted by the idea of your daughter being in a class of kids her age or a few months to maybe ten months younger.

That is being difficult.

You want them to make an accomodation to let your daughter into the older class, but are indignant at the idea of her being placed in the correct class with an age spread less than what you are requesting.

Huh? I don't think I'm making myself clear. I'm not "insulted" at all - I totally get why they want to put her in the 2 year old class. (And for the record, I was only asking that she be moved up when she turned 3, not before.) I just don't want to pay and drive that much unless she is getting development-appropriate education, which I have observed that she is not currently. I suppose it would appear I am biased when I say that she's verbally advanced/not getting appropriate stimulation - I get how that sounds, but it's true. This is why I'm not going to "fight/be difficult," but just going to leave.

[Anonymous]

I would move because of the commute even if you were happy with every other aspect. Just not worth it IMO.

On the class/age group issue...I get that it feels weird having your Fall birthday 3yr old in a class with mostly 2 yr olds. My DD has an Oct. birthday so she just misses the age cutoff. In her "2 yr old" class, where she was 3 for most of the year, she was in some ways the 'teacher's helper' because there is so much difference between a recently turned 2 and recently turned 3 yr old, esp. when you add in that DD is very big for her age. But, it really was fine. Her best friend in the class (and for a few years after that) was 10 mos younger than her. And a preschool day at either 2 or 3 is (or should be!) mostly play. I'd have had no problem with her being in that room as both a young 2 yr old and a 3 yr old. That would be much more preferable to repeating a preK year. At that point they are learning more academics and a 5 yr old doing a 2nd yr of Pre K is going to be bored. Unless you can figure out a way to get her ES to let her skip a year (not likely) or plan to home school, she will always be the oldest in class and it's best to get in sync with that rather than putting yourself in a situation where she needs to repeat PreK.