SIL incredibly selfish

[Anonymous]

OP. My SIL (my brother's wife) is from hell. If you like the cousins, hold it together.

After walking on eggshells for years (and no matter how careful we were, we always cracked the eggshells; we were getting PTSD we were so uptight around her, waiting for the next complaint), my DH finally lost it and emailed her, causing WWIII. (He emailed on purpose so she could not remember the conversation incorrectly; so she'd always have the text, which was respectful but definitely called her out.)

So ironically, the in-laws (my DH and my brother's DW) created a rift in the family. Truth be told, it was WONDERFUL to not have to deal with them on holidays.

Years later, we are sort of patched up now (I get invited over when DH is conveniently traveling for business, which works for DH). My brother and I try to find ways to get the kids together when his DW is somewhere else. Anyways....

The problem is, of course as you alluded to, you want the cousins to interact. Well now the kids are tweens and teens, and their DD is just like her mom--from hell. Every time the cousins get together she wrecks it.

So not sure it's great to invest so much energy in having the cousins interact. The only thing keeping me from not trying at all is that their boy is really sweet (like my DB), but no way to just invite him over without unleashing the hounds from hell.

[Anonymous]

Invite her to be polite, but don't count on her showing up.

[Anonymous]

I have the SIL from hell too. Mine likes to yell and scream and cry and throw me under the bus. Luckily DH and his brother are strangely distant from each other so I didn't even have to make any excuses to not see her. Didn't stop her from insinuating to everyone how I "changed" my DH and how I somehow caused this distance. Can't even make this stuff up.