furious that we can't seem to get out of this trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The problem is that I want to see my child. I'm okay with him going, but not with DC.. He's furious about this now.

So spend time with your kid another week? Take your kid to see your family? And work the week your husband takes the kid.

[doodlebug]

let your husband take your kid. you stay home and rest/tackle whatever project you've been meaning to get to/look for a job that requires less hours/get a massage and haircut etc. Then You have the other 3 wks in July with your child because you'll see to it personally the family vacation is only one week not two.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I negotiated and got Christmas as an our family only week. No travel (unless it's somewhere tropical).

[Anonymous]

I would not be negotiating jack shit. You and your child are your husband's primary family now, and he should be putting you first instead of his mommy. You guys need counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying for it shouldn't have mattered. You and DH are going to have to give them a couple hard "no"s so they start to grasp that you can't be manipulated.

What to say: "It's not the money, it's the time. We need some time just as our little family. We're sure you understand."

And however much they bluster keep to your plans.

I agree. But what do I do when DH doesn't have the cahunas to say that?

I'm tempted to stay behind and keep DC with me, but then I feel like they think I'm a worse wife/mom.

What about YOUR cajones? Nut up and YOU tell HIM "no way"!

oh trust me. I"ve tried. he'll be sleeping on the couch tonight, I've been very upset. I've debated a hotel room even....

I hear you. Very similar situation. I debated divorce. But then, as someone suggested, we said no. Double win: I see these people less often and they actually respect me more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The problem is that I want to see my child. I'm okay with him going, but not with DC.. He's furious about this now.

It's a week. Let DC go with DH. Use the time to focus on work and whatever else you need to do. Everybody wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying for it shouldn't have mattered. You and DH are going to have to give them a couple hard "no"s so they start to grasp that you can't be manipulated.

What to say: "It's not the money, it's the time. We need some time just as our little family. We're sure you understand."

And however much they bluster keep to your plans.

I agree. But what do I do when DH doesn't have the cahunas to say that?

I'm tempted to stay behind and keep DC with me, but then I feel like they [b]think I'm a worse wife/mom.

[/b]

Make a decision: is it more important to you to do what you want or is it more important what the in-laws "think" of you.

[Anonymous]

If your husband won't speak up, you're going to have to. It sounds like they already don't like you, so just tell them no.

[Anonymous]

It's not about the trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a week. Let DC go with DH. Use the time to focus on work and whatever else you need to do. Everybody wins.

This was me. I apologize, OP, for not reading your post carefully.

[Anonymous]

OP, you get to have Christmas with just your family without also having to give up 2 weeks in adult to be with your inlaws. Your husband has to decide where his priorities are.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with some of you? Why, as adults,can't you just say,NO? You bring it on yourselves and until such time as you grow some balls, stop complaining.

When people get married they no longer have to be be at the beck and call of parents/in-laws. If you cannot tell them that you plan to go on a vacation by yourself with just your family them you get what you deserve.

My DH and I. Let both families know from the beginning that we would create OUR Christmas and vacation traditions. So did our siblings. We never had your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with some of you? Why, as adults,can't you just say,NO? You bring it on yourselves and until such time as you grow some balls, stop complaining.

When people get married they no longer have to be be at the beck and call of parents/in-laws. If you cannot tell them that you plan to go on a vacation by yourself with just your family them you get what you deserve.

My DH and I. Let both families know from the beginning that we would create OUR Christmas and vacation traditions. So did our siblings. We never had your problems.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with some of you? Why, as adults,can't you just say,NO? You bring it on yourselves and until such time as you grow some balls, stop complaining.

When people get married they no longer have to be be at the beck and call of parents/in-laws. If you cannot tell them that you plan to go on a vacation by yourself with just your family them you get what you deserve.

My DH and I. Let both families know from the beginning that we would create OUR Christmas and vacation traditions. So did our siblings. We never had your problems.

Exactly.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I negotiated and got Christmas as an our family only week. No travel (unless it's somewhere tropical).

Your negotiation skills are horrid. You are going to have a miserable two weeks, then come Thanksgiving, your DH will be pressured into letting your inlaws come and spend XMAS with you guys. Then what are you going to do?
Work one week in July and let your DH take your child for a week. Then use vacation to spend time with DH and your child another week.