Why do people insist on visiting the week we get home from the hospital?

[Anonymous]

This a cultural/family thing. People come immediately to show your importance and the significance of that event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby is more fun when a little older anyway! Plus my mom will be staying here to help me recover from a c-section and help take care of the toddler. Why does my 25 year old SIL need to come right away? Why can't she give me a week or two to recover and establish breastfeeding? Ugh. Vent over. No replies necessary, I know I'm going to get flamed anyway.

Do you mean stop in for 15 minutes or stay in your house?

OP here - Stay in my house. And DH is not backing me on this so I can't say no

Is this your first baby? Talk to your DH again. Tell him that you will be recovering and trying to figure out breastfeeding and a hormonal mess and you really need both him and your mom to be focusing on supporting you so you can take care of your new baby. It's really selfish for your DH to be siding with your sister on this one.

[Anonymous]

PP back again. I might just go straight to SIL and say "he Larla would it be cool with you if we pushed your visit back a couple weeks? My doctor has been giving me the gory details of what it's going to be like in the first few weeks - bleeding and cracked nipples and crying and all kinds of lovely stuff - and I think we would enjoy your visit so much more if you came a little later."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP back again. I might just go straight to SIL and say "he Larla would it be cool with you if we pushed your visit back a couple weeks? My doctor has been giving me the gory details of what it's going to be like in the first few weeks - bleeding and cracked nipples and crying and all kinds of lovely stuff - and I think we would enjoy your visit so much more if you came a little later."

Exactly this. If she hasn't had kids she's just not thinking.

[Anonymous]

I had DH tell people we weren't having visitors until after the 2nd weekend at least. He was nice but firm. No one pushed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby is more fun when a little older anyway! Plus my mom will be staying here to help me recover from a c-section and help take care of the toddler. Why does my 25 year old SIL need to come right away? Why can't she give me a week or two to recover and establish breastfeeding? Ugh. Vent over. No replies necessary, I know I'm going to get flamed anyway.

Do you mean stop in for 15 minutes or stay in your house?

OP here - Stay in my house. And DH is not backing me on this so I can't say no

Is this your first baby? Talk to your DH again. Tell him that you will be recovering and trying to figure out breastfeeding and a hormonal mess and you really need both him and your mom to be focusing on supporting you so you can take care of your new baby. It's really selfish for your DH to be siding with your sister on this one.

Let SIL know that she will be a BIG help around the house doing chores /cooking/cleaning while your MOM is helping you with baby and toddler. When not busy with chores she can play with tot.

[Anonymous]

Because she loves you, is family, and is excited to meet your baby. Be grateful. Gently ask her to come a few weeks later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This a cultural/family thing. People come immediately to show your importance and the significance of that event.

Say what? I've never heard of this.

OP, just say yes or no, that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you guys ask her to wait a week? I know I'd have had no idea about childbirth when I was 25.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP back again. I might just go straight to SIL and say "he Larla would it be cool with you if we pushed your visit back a couple weeks? My doctor has been giving me the gory details of what it's going to be like in the first few weeks - bleeding and cracked nipples and crying and all kinds of lovely stuff - and I think we would enjoy your visit so much more if you came a little later."

This is a great idea. I would have been just like SIL had I had a niece or nephew at that age. And then I would be looking back mortified at my past behavior years once I had a kid of my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby is more fun when a little older anyway! Plus my mom will be staying here to help me recover from a c-section and help take care of the toddler. Why does my 25 year old SIL need to come right away? Why can't she give me a week or two to recover and establish breastfeeding? Ugh. Vent over. No replies necessary, I know I'm going to get flamed anyway.

Do you mean stop in for 15 minutes or stay in your house?

OP here - Stay in my house. And DH is not backing me on this so I can't say no

Is this your first baby? Talk to your DH again. Tell him that you will be recovering and trying to figure out breastfeeding and a hormonal mess and you really need both him and your mom to be focusing on supporting you so you can take care of your new baby. It's really selfish for your DH to be siding with your sister on this one.

Nope, it's my second. DH's family is just really overbearing and needs to be a part of everything in our lives. It's a bit irritating (example: FIL had to call SIL and let her know when DH and I bought a new kitchen faucet. I mean really? Who cares??)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This a cultural/family thing. People come immediately to show your importance and the significance of that event.

OP here - my ILs are as white as can be from a small town (not rural).

[Anonymous]

White people still have cultural/family traditions and mores. You don't have to be brown or black you know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White people still have cultural/family traditions and mores. You don't have to be brown or black you know...

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned, OP. You should have set the limits and expectations before the baby was born. There are plenty of new moms who would fully EXPECT family to come running as soon as you get back from the hospital and would feel abandoned or ignored otherwise. Speak up for yourself. Geeze.