Kid laughed at obese person

[Anonymous]

DD did this the other day in the grocery store. Luckily the subject of ridicule had head phones on and didn't hear her. We had a conversation about how negatively commenting on someones appearance is not nice. I'm sure I will have to remind her again and eventually she will get it. My older DS did this too and this approach worked.

[Anonymous]

One day on the playground at about 5/6 a boy was making fun a larger girl and one of the girls said "you can't make fun of fat people because if you do you'll grow up to be bigger than a piano!"

[Anonymous]

5 is young. Do you go over manners/how to behave in public with him on a regular basis? This is the kind of thing that points out to you what you are forgetting to teach. That would be me, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Did you try to find out where it might be coming from, specifically?

I don't know... Fat phobia is pretty endemic. I remember by 1st grade definitely feeling like everyone thought "fat was bad," but my parents never commented on peoples' bodies (and still don't) and I don't remember any specific friend or adult saying anything. In other words, I don't think you will necessarily be able to pinpoint and remove a single bad "source" of this message, but instead will have to more broadly teach your kid to be kind (or at least polite).

You were responding to me, and yeah, I get that. I meant more the publicly making fun, and where from *specifically*. All kids will experiment with this, but it would be good to find a starting point. I'm weary of doling out punishments before even broaching the why.

[Anonymous]

When DD makes comments that aren't kind about other's I say "While some people are different on the outside we are all the same on the inside." I.e. It's hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not only would I ask him, "how do you think it makes that person feel?", but I would make it personal, "some of our favorite people are plump, Mrs. So and So, Grandpa, even me. We don't want to make anyone feel bad about how they look. It's what's on the inside that counts"

That's beautiful. Thank you for being such a good parent!

[Anonymous]

Having brown hair is totally different than being overweight. Still, not cool to laugh at anyone for any reason.

[Anonymous]

This hasn't happened to me yet, but I'm sure it will. As heavy as America is, we personally don't know anyone in our community who is truly obese. Sure, a little overweight, but no one who is truly "fat." So I'm sure the day will come soon when my child will point at a stranger and say something super rude and hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One day on the playground at about 5/6 a boy was making fun a larger girl and one of the girls said "you can't make fun of fat people because if you do you'll grow up to be bigger than a piano!"

This is perfect!!!! Thank you! I am not OP but will use it if my kid does something like OP's kid.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old pointed to a group of women in hijabs in the grocery store and shouted NINJAS! We had a long conversation about appearances and not pointing or shouting in public that evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One day on the playground at about 5/6 a boy was making fun a larger girl and one of the girls said "you can't make fun of fat people because if you do you'll grow up to be bigger than a piano!"

This is perfect!!!! Thank you! I am not OP but will use it if my kid does something like OP's kid.

..which just reinforces that fat is 'bad'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would bring up the subject again, unprompted, because it bears repeating that some things are not said in public, whatever your child might privately think.

If the private thoughts of most people in this area went public it would be the loudest, most racist, classist, and fat shaming cacophony ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old pointed to a group of women in hijabs in the grocery store and shouted NINJAS! We had a long conversation about appearances and not pointing or shouting in public that evening.

Hahahah that is awesome and hilarious. And I'm Muslim!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old pointed to a group of women in hijabs in the grocery store and shouted NINJAS! We had a long conversation about appearances and not pointing or shouting in public that evening.

Hahahah that is awesome and hilarious. And I'm Muslim!

My son said that once too! He was so totally delighted to see them that it was hard to make it a teachable moment (I was laughing too hard and trying to suppress it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old pointed to a group of women in hijabs in the grocery store and shouted NINJAS! We had a long conversation about appearances and not pointing or shouting in public that evening.

That's pretty adorable!