A friend is posting very personal stuff on Facebook

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as if she is very damaged/traumatized, poor woman. I think you can definitely bring up how publicizing this is further damaging for her, but also go to the root of the problem - it's a cry for help! This person needs urgent psychiatric help.

Yes but unfortunately she can't add help.

[Anonymous]

Afford ** other weathy friends have paid for her therapy in the past and medicines. I don't think she will ever get better. It's been this way since shortly after undergrad which was 15 years ago.

[Anonymous]

So Facebook is only for happy news?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as if she is very damaged/traumatized, poor woman. I think you can definitely bring up how publicizing this is further damaging for her, but also go to the root of the problem - it's a cry for help! This person needs urgent psychiatric help.

Thanks. I did bring this up and suggested therapy. She went from occasionally posting stuff to posting like 20 posts a day. It's really strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So Facebook is only for happy news?

I think of Facebook like a cocktail party. Cute pics of kids and pets, big news like we're moving or got a new job, life milestones like losing a parent. Things I would share in a public setting, happy, sad or neutral. I think it's not a good place for sharing intimate issues, like dealing with having been raped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as if she is very damaged/traumatized, poor woman. I think you can definitely bring up how publicizing this is further damaging for her, but also go to the root of the problem - it's a cry for help! This person needs urgent psychiatric help.

Thanks. I did bring this up and suggested therapy. She went from occasionally posting stuff to posting like 20 posts a day. It's really strange.

Wow. Then she's sadly beyond your help, and the prospective employer thing might not even matter at this point.

[Anonymous]

I have had two facebook friends do this. One is a survivor of domestic abuse, and one was a dangerous alcoholic in her twenties.

In both cases, the posts made me uncomfortable, but also answered a lot of questions and made it possible for me to offer appropriate sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had two facebook friends do this. One is a survivor of domestic abuse, and one was a dangerous alcoholic in her twenties.

In both cases, the posts made me uncomfortable, but also answered a lot of questions and made it possible for me to offer appropriate sympathy.

She is very open about all these things in person.

[Anonymous]

I think that its bizarre that everyone takes the OP's post and concludes that the Facebook over-sharer is either crazy, in "desperate" need of help, or needs therapy of some kind. Have you all ever considered that how YOU would approach something or do something is just that - how YOU would do it? Perhaps she feels that shes shedding light on issues that are not often discussed publicly and thinks that it might actually help someone else? Perhaps she feels that this is part of her Christian journey in providing her testimony and how it has helped her life? Presumably, after being asked, she said not only is she fine, but if you're not fine with her posting - stop reading. This about sums up any "talking to" that she needs done as a "friend". Presumably, if shes an adult, shes acutely aware of the consequences of posting whether it be future jobs or judgement from "friends" and has decided to do exactly as she pleases.

I'm of the personal opinion that social media for me is simply of way of touching base with friends that are scattered throughout the country and world, for that matter, and an easy way to reconnect and I get good recipes and time saving tips. I don't post often, and I don't post pics. Now some call ME crazy because I don't post pictures. I'm not ugly, nor am I insecure in any way...I am just personally uncomfortable with leveraging social media in that manner. However, I don't call my friend "crazy" or in need of help because they feel the exact opposite. I have friends who post daily excruciating minutia from what they are eating for dinner, what time they woke up, to the wait times at DMV. I don't judge them - I simply let them be and ignore posts that I'm not interested in and/or block folks from my feed.

I'm not sure what the OP is asking if the Facebook friend has already responded to her "help". You all sound like micromanagers of people's daily events, life choices, and ethics. Get over yourselves. Your superiority complex slips are showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you wanted to say something to her, the safest way would be to frame it how you have here in terms of her work.

Something like "My company just revised its social media policy - with all these new platforms, it's so hard to keep up. It's got to be tough when you're job hunting - making sure your privacy settings are enough that potential employers checking your social media presence won't see anything you don't want them to?"

That way you aren't criticizing what she's posting, but making sure she is aware that there may be potential consequences.

How passive. If you're genuinely a friend, be more direct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that its bizarre that everyone takes the OP's post and concludes that the Facebook over-sharer is either crazy, in "desperate" need of help, or needs therapy of some kind. Have you all ever considered that how YOU would approach something or do something is just that - how YOU would do it? Perhaps she feels that shes shedding light on issues that are not often discussed publicly and thinks that it might actually help someone else? Perhaps she feels that this is part of her Christian journey in providing her testimony and how it has helped her life? Presumably, after being asked, she said not only is she fine, but if you're not fine with her posting - stop reading. This about sums up any "talking to" that she needs done as a "friend". Presumably, if shes an adult, shes acutely aware of the consequences of posting whether it be future jobs or judgement from "friends" and has decided to do exactly as she pleases.

I'm of the personal opinion that social media for me is simply of way of touching base with friends that are scattered throughout the country and world, for that matter, and an easy way to reconnect and I get good recipes and time saving tips. I don't post often, and I don't post pics. Now some call ME crazy because I don't post pictures. I'm not ugly, nor am I insecure in any way...I am just personally uncomfortable with leveraging social media in that manner. However, I don't call my friend "crazy" or in need of help because they feel the exact opposite. I have friends who post daily excruciating minutia from what they are eating for dinner, what time they woke up, to the wait times at DMV. I don't judge them - I simply let them be and ignore posts that I'm not interested in and/or block folks from my feed.

I'm not sure what the OP is asking if the Facebook friend has already responded to her "help". You all sound like micromanagers of people's daily events, life choices, and ethics. Get over yourselves. Your superiority complex slips are showing.

You sound like a know it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So Facebook is only for happy news?

I think of Facebook like a cocktail party. Cute pics of kids and pets, big news like we're moving or got a new job, life milestones like losing a parent. Things I would share in a public setting, happy, sad or neutral. I think it's not a good place for sharing intimate issues, like dealing with having been raped.

I don't think it's up to you to decide what other people should be comfortable sharing or not.
It's easy to ignore or hide people's posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as if she is very damaged/traumatized, poor woman. I think you can definitely bring up how publicizing this is further damaging for her, but also go to the root of the problem - it's a cry for help! This person needs urgent psychiatric help.

Thanks. I did bring this up and suggested therapy. She went from occasionally posting stuff to posting like 20 posts a day. It's really strange.

Sounds like she is bipolar. That's unfortunate, particularly because I know from personal experience that when bipolar people are elevated they are hard to reach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should DM her and see if she wants to talk about anything over the phone. And if you do get to talk to her over the phone, tell her to set strong privacy setting on her FB account because while what she said was important, she should also be aware that there are bad people out there who can use that type of information to hurt her.

+1 When I see someone do this I'll send a dm and ask if they need to talk or ask how they are. She needs something right now, maybe she's going through a tough time. I would definitely try to kindly let her know I am here to listen, but her words will be perceived in different ways by all the contacts she's accumulated. She's doing herself a disservice by sharing her personal stories so publicly. Her private thoughts deserve reverence and that can only happen in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as if she is very damaged/traumatized, poor woman. I think you can definitely bring up how publicizing this is further damaging for her, but also go to the root of the problem - it's a cry for help! This person needs urgent psychiatric help.

Thanks. I did bring this up and suggested therapy. She went from occasionally posting stuff to posting like 20 posts a day. It's really strange.

Sounds like she is bipolar. That's unfortunate, particularly because I know from personal experience that when bipolar people are elevated they are hard to reach.

I don't think we should diagnose people on message boards but I will say I've done this and I'm not bipolar. However, I do not do that anymore.