Mother gets pissed when I talk about improving my looks

[Anonymous]

I think you need to set boundaries with your mother. If your mother is mad, that's not your problem any more. It's her problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows what happened with the bleeding face. The pediatrician missed it for two years too? Or perhaps OP is obsessed with her looks and her mother has tried diligently to get to stop focusing on it.

OP, it doesn't sound like your mom is jealous. It sounds more like she is irritated because you can't stop talking about how you are doing this, that and the other thing to try to look younger. She may be trying to help you age gracefully. Since it seems to be a sore subject for both of you why not talk about something else.

OR her mother is a bitch.

I love how PP is twisting herself into knots attempting to justify the cancer thing. There's absolutely no way the mom holds any responsibility, right? It was DEFINITELY that OP's vanity--as a child!--drove her to it.

I love your attempt to believe that an otherwise loving and caring mother let her DD suffer from skin cancer for two years. Totally makes sense.

I bet her mom remembers things completely differently. We are only getting one very jaded side.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's vanity to correct things to look better in the mirror and to others. Otherwise why is coloring one's gray hair so standard? Wearing makeup too. I had a plastic surgery because of inherited jowls and hooded eyelids (and lack of sunscreen growing up). It was not vanity to get that fixed, and I never even think about it. I then found out that one of my brothers also had the eyelift at age 65 (and they are not wealthy at all but it was a clear problem.)

I don't understand the horror some people have for correcting flaws with needles or surgery. If it's done repeatedly like Michael Jackson, okay. But once-and-done has made me feel so much better. I wish your mother could understand that.

[Anonymous]

When you're considering injecting botulism into your face to look good, I think that IS an extreme step. I'm 39 and have never considered botox. I have used sunscreen religiously since I was 9 years old, wear sunglasses, and don't worry about the rest.

[Anonymous]

In your shoes, I wouldn't volunteer any information about this area of life to her. Hopefully you have other people who can be supportive of your fitness and beauty efforts - but your mom has not been and never will be. I definitely have some subjects that I wish I could discuss with my mom, and get her loving motherly support in, but it's just not available in all areas of life - I've done my best to accept that and appreciate where she happily plays that role. We can't be all things to all people, your mom has this blind spot in her life, so try to steer clear of that, but enjoy the rest that's good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows what happened with the bleeding face. The pediatrician missed it for two years too? Or perhaps OP is obsessed with her looks and her mother has tried diligently to get to stop focusing on it.

OP, it doesn't sound like your mom is jealous. It sounds more like she is irritated because you can't stop talking about how you are doing this, that and the other thing to try to look younger. She may be trying to help you age gracefully. Since it seems to be a sore subject for both of you why not talk about something else.

OR her mother is a bitch.

I love how PP is twisting herself into knots attempting to justify the cancer thing. There's absolutely no way the mom holds any responsibility, right? It was DEFINITELY that OP's vanity--as a child!--drove her to it.

I love your attempt to believe that an otherwise loving and caring mother let her DD suffer from skin cancer for two years. Totally makes sense.

I bet her mom remembers things completely differently. We are only getting one very jaded side.

Nowhere is the mom described as "otherwise loving and caring". She is described as angry, defensive, and nasty. But please, continue to pretend you know OP's mom better than she does.

[Anonymous]

My mom tells me I'm overweight. You are LUCKY your mom is the way she is. So she isn't perfect.

My MIL, a nurse, made DH walk around on a broken bone for days or a week. She told him to suck it up, she sees really sick people every day.... She is still a good mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you're considering injecting botulism into your face to look good, I think that IS an extreme step. I'm 39 and have never considered botox. I have used sunscreen religiously since I was 9 years old, wear sunglasses, and don't worry about the rest.

Eff the haters, Botox is awesome. I, too, have used sunscreen since childhood and worn good sunglasses. And I have very arched/crooked eyebrows, and by 40 I looked like I was pissed off at the universe. Started using Botox at 40 twice a year; I'm 53 now and it has made a huge difference.

Do what you like. Don't do what you don't like.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like you want your mom to be jealous.

[Anonymous]

Stop talking about your efforts to improve your looks with her, just do it. This sounds like a wound that goes deep, maybe stemming from childhood experiences. Just let it go and talk about other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom tells me I'm overweight. You are LUCKY your mom is the way she is. So she isn't perfect.

My MIL, a nurse, made DH walk around on a broken bone for days or a week. She told him to suck it up, she sees really sick people every day.... She is still a good mother.

this one is funny to me. She made your DH walk on a broken bone? Made him? Really?

[Anonymous]

You are way to old to not have sorted this out. What you are discussing really is none of her business. Why are you sharing it? Do you really have no basic skills in deflecting a question or turning a topic away? If you see no ownership in this, you are a very codependent duo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop talking about your efforts to improve your looks with her, just do it. This sounds like a wound that goes deep, maybe stemming from childhood experiences. Just let it go and talk about other things.

Agree. You don't need your mother's approval at your age.

Since she is your mother, perhaps she takes it personally that you aren't totally happy with your looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do sound vain and she sounds like a great mom.

OP's mom? Is that you?!

[Anonymous]

Your mom has been like this for 40 years and you still do things that have always had the same result?

We can speculate all day about why she does this, but why to you open the door?