Ex glomming onto my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They should absolutely be having nothing to do with him, if only because you are family and are uncomfortable with it - for valid reasons! You have every right to put your foot down.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who got divorced, and she's furious that my parents and I all hang out with the ex-brother-in-law. But really, it comes down to the following:

1. My ex-BIL is a great guy, and has tons of business connections that have really hooked me up over the years.

2. My sister really let herself go after the second kid. Plus, my ex-BIL's business took off and his market value went up a ton. I can't blame him for looking around when neither she nor he were in the same boat as when they got married.

3. My ex-BIL hosts my parents for a month every summer at his vacation home, along with his kids (their grandkids). It's a lot more fun seeing the kids there with my ex-
BIL and his new wife and baby, rather than dealing with my shrew of a sister telling us all how to eat and drink.

You're family from birth, but at some point you choose who you want to be with. My ex-BIL is much more fun to be around, and I'm really just done with my sister and all her drama. Sorry to lay it out there like that, but that's just how it is.

Holy shit you suck. Your poor sister Jesus. Her entire family turns their back on her for a timeshare and some business permitted l opportunities and talks about how she's let herself go.

You guys SUCK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who got divorced, and she's furious that my parents and I all hang out with the ex-brother-in-law. But really, it comes down to the following:

1. My ex-BIL is a great guy, and has tons of business connections that have really hooked me up over the years.

2. My sister really let herself go after the second kid. Plus, my ex-BIL's business took off and his market value went up a ton. I can't blame him for looking around when neither she nor he were in the same boat as when they got married.

3. My ex-BIL hosts my parents for a month every summer at his vacation home, along with his kids (their grandkids). It's a lot more fun seeing the kids there with my ex-
BIL and his new wife and baby, rather than dealing with my shrew of a sister telling us all how to eat and drink.

You're family from birth, but at some point you choose who you want to be with. My ex-BIL is much more fun to be around, and I'm really just done with my sister and all her drama. Sorry to lay it out there like that, but that's just how it is.

These people don't even know (care?) how much they hurt sister.

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn't mind it if my ex was like the ex-BIL mentioned. And I say this as someone who was initially irritated to see the ex at family functions. He's considered family though and that's part of what comes with kids and marriage. For myself, I missed certain people in his family and it sucked to lose those relationships so I don't begrudge my family for inviting him to things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For me the line would be:

1. No family members are allowed to talk to me about the ex and their relationship with him. I cannot control what relationship they have with him.

2. No family members are allowed to invite him to a family gathering which includes me without first deferring to my opinion on the matter.

Ridiculous. They can invite who they want to whatever event they want. If you don't like it, you don't go.

[Anonymous]

I'm dealing with this, too. My family loves it. They are all mean spirited, sadistic narcissists who need to one-up someone to feel good about themselves. Of all the people involved in this situation, I'm glad I'm me and not any of them.

It has been a real eye-opener to be on the receiving end of this kind of behavior, and I've really learned a lot from it that frankly I never would have if this hadn't happened. I now know to teach my kids to be loyal to their family members, now and when they grow up. It's an important part of being a healthy person in a healthy family, and one I notice all the time now in healthy families.

As painful as it's been, I'm so glad I've experienced it because it's changed me for the better. Good luck, OP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who got divorced, and she's furious that my parents and I all hang out with the ex-brother-in-law. But really, it comes down to the following:

1. My ex-BIL is a great guy, and has tons of business connections that have really hooked me up over the years.

2. My sister really let herself go after the second kid. Plus, my ex-BIL's business took off and his market value went up a ton. I can't blame him for looking around when neither she nor he were in the same boat as when they got married.

3. My ex-BIL hosts my parents for a month every summer at his vacation home, along with his kids (their grandkids). It's a lot more fun seeing the kids there with my ex-
BIL and his new wife and baby, rather than dealing with my shrew of a sister telling us all how to eat and drink.

You're family from birth, but at some point you choose who you want to be with. My ex-BIL is much more fun to be around, and I'm really just done with my sister and all her drama. Sorry to lay it out there like that, but that's just how it is.

Holy shit you suck. Your poor sister Jesus. Her entire family turns their back on her for a timeshare and some business permitted l opportunities and talks about how she's let herself go.

You guys SUCK

Serioiusy. She sounds like a truly shallow person lacking normal attachments and emotions. no wonder she prefers ex-BIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm dealing with this, too. My family loves it. They are all mean spirited, sadistic narcissists who need to one-up someone to feel good about themselves. Of all the people involved in this situation, I'm glad I'm me and not any of them.

It has been a real eye-opener to be on the receiving end of this kind of behavior, and I've really learned a lot from it that frankly I never would have if this hadn't happened. I now know to teach my kids to be loyal to their family members, now and when they grow up. It's an important part of being a healthy person in a healthy family, and one I notice all the time now in healthy families.

As painful as it's been, I'm so glad I've experienced it because it's changed me for the better. Good luck, OP!!

PP again. Another thing I learned is that we choose people like those in our family of origin to have kids with. It's not a coincidence. If you don't go through this painful crap, you will just keep on being just like them. Learn from this and grow.

[Anonymous]

I can understand how that can be frustrating and unfair. The question is, is he friends with your cousins? Do you want the responsibility to control what your family does? I know it can be painful to see this happening, but trying to be in control of all that is very wearing. If it really means that much, do say something to your family, so they understand how this is impacting you. Then walk away. Don't stress yourself out by seeking to know what he is doing. Give yourself time to heal, and move past the trauma you have experienced. I am sorry for your struggles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can understand how that can be frustrating and unfair. The question is, is he friends with your cousins? Do you want the responsibility to control what your family does? I know it can be painful to see this happening, but trying to be in control of all that is very wearing. If it really means that much, do say something to your family, so they understand how this is impacting you. Then walk away. Don't stress yourself out by seeking to know what he is doing. Give yourself time to heal, and move past the trauma you have experienced. I am sorry for your struggles.

I agree with this. Also, when someone doesn't care if someone else hurts you, then they are not in your corner, whether they are supposedly family or friends. Give up on them. I would never be friendly to someone who hurt someone I loved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who got divorced, and she's furious that my parents and I all hang out with the ex-brother-in-law. But really, it comes down to the following:

1. My ex-BIL is a great guy, and has tons of business connections that have really hooked me up over the years.

2. My sister really let herself go after the second kid. Plus, my ex-BIL's business took off and his market value went up a ton. I can't blame him for looking around when neither she nor he were in the same boat as when they got married.

3. My ex-BIL hosts my parents for a month every summer at his vacation home, along with his kids (their grandkids). It's a lot more fun seeing the kids there with my ex-
BIL and his new wife and baby, rather than dealing with my shrew of a sister telling us all how to eat and drink.

You're family from birth, but at some point you choose who you want to be with. My ex-BIL is much more fun to be around, and I'm really just done with my sister and all her drama. Sorry to lay it out there like that, but that's just how it is.

This made me laugh. You are either a troll or a sociopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who got divorced, and she's furious that my parents and I all hang out with the ex-brother-in-law. But really, it comes down to the following:

1. My ex-BIL is a great guy, and has tons of business connections that have really hooked me up over the years.

2. My sister really let herself go after the second kid. Plus, my ex-BIL's business took off and his market value went up a ton. I can't blame him for looking around when neither she nor he were in the same boat as when they got married.

3. My ex-BIL hosts my parents for a month every summer at his vacation home, along with his kids (their grandkids). It's a lot more fun seeing the kids there with my ex-
BIL and his new wife and baby, rather than dealing with my shrew of a sister telling us all how to eat and drink.

You're family from birth, but at some point you choose who you want to be with. My ex-BIL is much more fun to be around, and I'm really just done with my sister and all her drama. Sorry to lay it out there like that, but that's just how it is.

OMG. You sound like an awful human being.

[Anonymous]

You're well within your rights to ask that they cut off their relationships with them. They of course can choose not to do so, but if they don't, I'd seriously reconsider the closeness of your relationships with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who got divorced, and she's furious that my parents and I all hang out with the ex-brother-in-law. But really, it comes down to the following:

1. My ex-BIL is a great guy, and has tons of business connections that have really hooked me up over the years.

2. My sister really let herself go after the second kid. Plus, my ex-BIL's business took off and his market value went up a ton. I can't blame him for looking around when neither she nor he were in the same boat as when they got married.

3. My ex-BIL hosts my parents for a month every summer at his vacation home, along with his kids (their grandkids). It's a lot more fun seeing the kids there with my ex-
BIL and his new wife and baby, rather than dealing with my shrew of a sister telling us all how to eat and drink.

You're family from birth, but at some point you choose who you want to be with. My ex-BIL is much more fun to be around, and I'm really just done with my sister and all her drama. Sorry to lay it out there like that, but that's just how it is.

Holy shit you suck. Your poor sister Jesus. Her entire family turns their back on her for a timeshare and some business permitted l opportunities and talks about how she's let herself go.

You guys SUCK

Yes and he no doubt let us all know who the pos are in this situation. Hint, it's NOT the sister.

If I were the sister I would write them all off for good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who got divorced, and she's furious that my parents and I all hang out with the ex-brother-in-law. But really, it comes down to the following:

1. My ex-BIL is a great guy, and has tons of business connections that have really hooked me up over the years.

2. My sister really let herself go after the second kid. Plus, my ex-BIL's business took off and his market value went up a ton. I can't blame him for looking around when neither she nor he were in the same boat as when they got married.

3. My ex-BIL hosts my parents for a month every summer at his vacation home, along with his kids (their grandkids). It's a lot more fun seeing the kids there with my ex-
BIL and his new wife and baby, rather than dealing with my shrew of a sister telling us all how to eat and drink.

You're family from birth, but at some point you choose who you want to be with. My ex-BIL is much more fun to be around, and I'm really just done with my sister and all her drama. Sorry to lay it out there like that, but that's just how it is.

Hopefully this is a fake post. If not you and your parents deserve to get terminal cancer.