Tell me about sibs who are 7+ years apart?

Anonymous
My sister and I are seven years apart. We were close when I was little, drifted apart when she entered high school, and came back together for a stint during my college years when she was single and working in her 20's. Then she got married and we drifted apart a bit again. Now that we are both firmly established adults, we are close friends. I looked up to her as a little girl, resented her as a teenager, akd have great affection for her now.

My two boys are now 6.5 years apart. The older is a doting big brother and his lil bro thinks he hung the moon. My older son is immensely helpful, and frankly it's nice to have a kid who can feed/bathe/entertain himself while I take care of the baby.

It's all good. Go for it. Life doesn't follow a set plan or pattern. And you set the tone. Good luck!
Anonymous
I have a sister seven years older and we have always been close. It helped that she really wanted a sibling and was excited and patient when I was little. Growing up she was a little more parental than always sibling like, but it was kind of nice to have someone else to go to for help/advice. She took me everywhere when she started driving, lots of trips to the mall etc., and I loved visiting her at college. She lived at home for a year after college while I was in high school and that helped transition our relationship.
As adults, the age difference does not matter at all, other then I got the benefit of a preview on each life phase ahead of time, which was nice. Her youngest is only 2 years older than my oldest so that helps close the gap even more.
Pros: no competition; both kids are onlies for a while; no overlapping college; kept my parents young
Cons: have to be careful not to expect too much of the older one, have to encourage time together across different interests (we took a lot of family trips where my sister and I got to "do our own thing")
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have sisters that are 10, 12, 17, and 20 years younger than me. I'm sisterly close with the two nearest in age - particularly the one who is 12 years my junior. We are a lot alike and are in the same industry now -- so we have a lot in common.

The younger set I have more of a wise aunt relationship with them.


Thank you! I love that wise-aunt descriptor.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have a sister seven years older and we have always been close. It helped that she really wanted a sibling and was excited and patient when I was little. Growing up she was a little more parental than always sibling like, but it was kind of nice to have someone else to go to for help/advice. She took me everywhere when she started driving, lots of trips to the mall etc., and I loved visiting her at college. She lived at home for a year after college while I was in high school and that helped transition our relationship.
As adults, the age difference does not matter at all, other then I got the benefit of a preview on each life phase ahead of time, which was nice. Her youngest is only 2 years older than my oldest so that helps close the gap even more.
Pros: no competition; both kids are onlies for a while; no overlapping college; kept my parents young
Cons: have to be careful not to expect too much of the older one, have to encourage time together across different interests (we took a lot of family trips where my sister and I got to "do our own thing")


Wonderful, candid, response. I appreciate it!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My sister and I are seven years apart. We were close when I was little, drifted apart when she entered high school, and came back together for a stint during my college years when she was single and working in her 20's. Then she got married and we drifted apart a bit again. Now that we are both firmly established adults, we are close friends. I looked up to her as a little girl, resented her as a teenager, akd have great affection for her now.

My two boys are now 6.5 years apart. The older is a doting big brother and his lil bro thinks he hung the moon. My older son is immensely helpful, and frankly it's nice to have a kid who can feed/bathe/entertain himself while I take care of the baby.

It's all good. Go for it. Life doesn't follow a set plan or pattern. And you set the tone. Good luck!


So many good points. Thank you! I'm using "hung on the moon" from here on out
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We're thinking about having a second but it would mean our two children would be seven years apart, at minimum. Anyone out there have experience with sibs this far apart? What worked? What didn't? Were they friends when they were younger? Are they friends now? Thanks for the insights and advice!


I am 21 years younger than my brother. We are not close, he is more like an uncle to me.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My kids have a very large age gap - 22 years. My oldest is on her own, but lives in the same town and visits often. They are close and adore each other. I include her in his life as much as possible and don't have her as a default care giver (so I don't ask her to watch after her little brother).

I have multiple siblings (Brother - 2 years younger, Brother - 8 years older, Sister 10 years older, Brother 12 years older). I am closest with my little brother and my older sister.


So interesting how age really doesn't dictate friendship. I appreciate your insights!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have girls, 8 years apart. They are surprisingly close to be 4 and 12. The 12 year old plays with the 3 year old, who adores her sister.


So sweet. Thank you!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My sisters (twins) are 7 years older than me. We were pretty close when I was a kid--I definitely have good memories of them playing with me, reading to me, etc. But of course I did my fair share of being the bratty younger sister too.

They left for college when I was 10, and then were far away after college, so I was frozen as a child in their heads for a long time and they didn't really talk to me like an adult.

Now we all live far away (Seattle, Boston, DC) and don't see each other very often. We get along fine, but we're not the kind of family that talks all the time or are super bonded. But my sisters rarely talk to each other, and they're twins so it's not an age thing I don't think. I would say I get along with each of them better than they get along with each other (they're very similar and bicker constantly).


Thanks for this honest reply. I appreciate your candid response.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My brother and I are 6 years apart. We were very close when we were little, then less so during my moody teenage years. My parents worked late hours so I took care of him when we were little and picked him up from school when I was old enough to drive. We spent most of our days together. We are less close now but that is due to my leaving for college in another state and settling down there, I think, and not our age difference. Neither of us are phone people, but we chat frequently online, text, and do Facetime every weekend with my 14 month old. My DH has a sister that lives nearby. They are two years apart and when they are together, they squabble constantly and it's like they've both regressed to eight year olds (calling each other retards, telling each other to shut up, etc.)

I do think of myself more of a BigSister than just a sister to my brother, and he vacillates between asking me for advice and being contrary just to be rebellious. He does still talk to me and takes my advice more than he will from my parents, and they will often call to ask me for advice about him, or ask me to talk to him. I still have very fond memories of us playing together with our stuffed animals and making up elaborate stories about them--and both of us kind of half thinking they were alive. When Toy Story came out it really spoke to us, and we watched all the sequels together as adults. If we lived in the same state I'm pretty sure we would be quite close, but I'm sure there will still be that little bit of distance that comes from us being in different stages of life, which will then lessen as he gets older and starts a family too.


Love the Toy Story connection. Thank you for sharing all of these insights!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My sisters (twins) are 7 years older than me. We were pretty close when I was a kid--I definitely have good memories of them playing with me, reading to me, etc. But of course I did my fair share of being the bratty younger sister too.

They left for college when I was 10, and then were far away after college, so I was frozen as a child in their heads for a long time and they didn't really talk to me like an adult.

Now we all live far away (Seattle, Boston, DC) and don't see each other very often. We get along fine, but we're not the kind of family that talks all the time or are super bonded. But my sisters rarely talk to each other, and they're twins so it's not an age thing I don't think. I would say I get along with each of them better than they get along with each other (they're very similar and bicker constantly).


I have younger twins so I can commiserate with the bickering I appreciate your post!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We're thinking about having a second but it would mean our two children would be seven years apart, at minimum. Anyone out there have experience with sibs this far apart? What worked? What didn't? Were they friends when they were younger? Are they friends now? Thanks for the insights and advice!


Treat both equally. If you have standards for the oldest, have the same for the youngest.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We're thinking about having a second but it would mean our two children would be seven years apart, at minimum. Anyone out there have experience with sibs this far apart? What worked? What didn't? Were they friends when they were younger? Are they friends now? Thanks for the insights and advice!


Treat both equally. If you have standards for the oldest, have the same for the youngest.


Great advice. Thank you!
Anonymous
It's an easy gap in terms of sib conflict. It's a hard gap in terms of scheduling.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It's an easy gap in terms of sib conflict. It's a hard gap in terms of scheduling.


Thank you!!
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