When is "enough's enough" for videogames at a sleepover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see anything wrong with this, but my 11yo only goes to maybe 5 or 6 sleepovers a year so I don't feel like it's out of control.

I agree.

It is rainy. Muddy.

Let them game. It is not like these boys are having weekly sleepovers or daily sleepovers.we used to play frogger and donkey kong all night ling at sleepovers and we survived.

If the weather is good you can send them outside, but it is raining.

One night of overindulging in what they see as fun is really no big deal. It won't corrupt them. It won't ruin their souls or destroy the values you instilled in them.

Let them game until a reasonable time (like 12:00 or 1:00 AM), tuen let them game in the time you wake up to the time you wake up to make breakfast. After that, gaming stops.

This is not really an issue.

[Anonymous]

^^^let the game from the time they wake up until the time you wake up.


Phone keyboard issues...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see anything wrong with this, but my 11yo only goes to maybe 5 or 6 sleepovers a year so I don't feel like it's out of control.

I agree.

It is rainy. Muddy.

Let them game. It is not like these boys are having weekly sleepovers or daily sleepovers.we used to play frogger and donkey kong all night ling at sleepovers and we survived.

If the weather is good you can send them outside, but it is raining.

One night of overindulging in what they see as fun is really no big deal. It won't corrupt them. It won't ruin their souls or destroy the values you instilled in them.

Let them game until a reasonable time (like 12:00 or 1:00 AM), tuen let them game in the time you wake up to the time you wake up to make breakfast. After that, gaming stops.

This is not really an issue.

^^ agree.

I used to be really uptight about the video gaming thing but realized that this is the only time they really get to do this with their friends en masse.

[Anonymous]

Let the kids be. I have kids over all of the time. Some stay on the video games all day and some go outside to play basketball. Rarely do they do things all together. Also, do you have anything else for them to do? Board games aren't always ideal if these are physical kids and it's raining. We do gun wars in the basement. But we also have an air hockey table, indoor basketball hoop, foosball, etc. yes they still use their imagination and create their weird made up games. Regardless, I don't micromanage them or expect them to do or play certain things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly this isn't a party. Just a friend sleeping over. I do not want to be the mean parent but not sure what else I can do at this point!

It might be easier if you get them out of the house for a while, then they can play video games for the 2 hours before bedtime.
Get to know the other mom, she will probably feel the same way, discuss ideas on how to get the boys away from videogames - then you won't be the only mom enforcing limits (I'm sure you're not but it's good to know how the other moms feel about it).
I have 12 & 14 yr old boys - was with the other moms yesterday, They all spoke about how they were about to smash these computers and how mad they get - we don't care what the boys think when it's time to get off, they need to get off. We were brainstorming about the (free) stuff we can do outdoors this summer to get them off the games.

[Anonymous]

Sheesh - every freaking minute of these kids lives is scheduled and managed to be super optimal. Give them a chance to decide what to do with their time once in awhile. Give them a chance to overindulge in something sometimes. Let them breathe. I don't know how movies are somehow more noble than video games? Frankly a movie is a much more passive activity. You carrying on about video games is like my dad wondering why we don't all just sit around the radio and listen together any more. Times change. The more you rage against the machine, the more appealing it will be to them. This is parenting 101 stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea. My kid actually hates going to sleepovers because of this. He thinks it's boring to play video games for hours on end and prefers to be physical. As of late, he's actively seeking friends who want to be active. It's a small group.

Mine feels the exact same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is just sad that 11 year old cannot think of what else to do with each other. Well the rain isn't helping at all. But still. Most of the kids who come over do not play board games. I don't get this. We play board games as a family - Cataan, Ticket to Ride, etc - but I guess others do not? So the answer to "play a board game" is: "Larlo doesn't play board games." It is not out of control as my 11 year old doesn't do too many sleepovers either. But so sad that they do not know how to interact with each other without the device.

My 10yr old can think of a million things to do. He's not into playing video games for hours on end and prefers basketball, capture the flag, Nerf wars, biking, skateboarding, ect....the problem is MOST kids are not like him. They can find exactly what they want to do and it is to remain motionless in front of a screen for hours and hours and hours.

Going to have to sign him up for summer camps because most of the neighborhood kids with a parent at home will allow the kids to be like zombies sitting in the basement glued to the video games. It's sad and it sucks for kids like mine who enjoy expending energy. Wish we could find more like minded kids because I'm sure they are out there.

[Anonymous]

My 11 year old has one best friend and they have sleepovers a couple of times a month. He does have some playdates with other kids here and there. The two love to play videogames together and they do that on most sleepovers. But if the weather is nice they will do nerf battles outside, or wrestle in the basement. Sometimes they will recruit other kids from the street and organize a larger nerf battle. But for the most part they like to play videogames alone. I don't worry about it. They are otherwise good kids - academically and involved in other activities. But at my house, they have to be in bed at 10 am. At the other house they tend to stay up an hour more. They do get up early and play more video games in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old has one best friend and they have sleepovers a couple of times a month. He does have some playdates with other kids here and there. The two love to play videogames together and they do that on most sleepovers. But if the weather is nice they will do nerf battles outside, or wrestle in the basement. Sometimes they will recruit other kids from the street and organize a larger nerf battle. But for the most part they like to play videogames alone. I don't worry about it. They are otherwise good kids - academically and involved in other activities. But at my house, they have to be in bed at 10 am. At the other house they tend to stay up an hour more. They do get up early and play more video games in the morning.

I can't decide whether this is ridiculously early or ridiculously late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is just sad that 11 year old cannot think of what else to do with each other. Well the rain isn't helping at all. But still. Most of the kids who come over do not play board games. I don't get this. We play board games as a family - Cataan, Ticket to Ride, etc - but I guess others do not? So the answer to "play a board game" is: "Larlo doesn't play board games." It is not out of control as my 11 year old doesn't do too many sleepovers either. But so sad that they do not know how to interact with each other without the device.

So you need to cultivate the boardgaming kids! They are out there - my kid is one. Plus, even if they SAY X doesn't play Boardgames, with a little effort you might find one that all think are fun - Terror in Meeple City, King of Tokyo - especially if they are limited for video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is just sad that 11 year old cannot think of what else to do with each other. Well the rain isn't helping at all. But still. Most of the kids who come over do not play board games. I don't get this. We play board games as a family - Cataan, Ticket to Ride, etc - but I guess others do not? So the answer to "play a board game" is: "Larlo doesn't play board games." It is not out of control as my 11 year old doesn't do too many sleepovers either. But so sad that they do not know how to interact with each other without the device.

So you need to cultivate the boardgaming kids! They are out there - my kid is one. Plus, even if they SAY X doesn't play Boardgames, with a little effort you might find one that all think are fun - Terror in Meeple City, King of Tokyo - especially if they are limited for video games.

They like what the know. We play cards or a board game every single night before bed. I think we are a relic of the past. We got this tradition from my DH'S family and I think it really contributed to how my DH'S brain operates. He can remember everything and look at things 5 steps ahead. It's pretty remarkable. I did not grow up like this and now my 10yr old beats me at chess and is a great Rummy player.

Cards and board games are so much better than video games. We actually interact. Imagine!

[Anonymous]

Probably depends on what game they are playing, but I don't see why playing a board game is inherently better than a video game. Minecraft, for instance, is open-ended and creative in ways that no board game I know is. I think it's important not to arbitrarily be anti-media. And if the kids are playing a multi-player game, they are being social.

Interesting article about positive benefits of gaming:

http://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2014/06/13/benefits-of-gaming-what-research-shows/

I have a 13 yo and a 9 yo. The 13 yo is uninterested in gaming but the 9 yo loves them and almost always wants to have a device. We do limit the play, especially on playdates, but I think sleepovers are kinda special. When my older has them, we let the kids watch movies and stay up late, and eat junk food. Of course, we don't have them very often! But I am not sure the cards-and-board-games-are-better camp is actually right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is just sad that 11 year old cannot think of what else to do with each other. Well the rain isn't helping at all. But still. Most of the kids who come over do not play board games. I don't get this. We play board games as a family - Cataan, Ticket to Ride, etc - but I guess others do not? So the answer to "play a board game" is: "Larlo doesn't play board games." It is not out of control as my 11 year old doesn't do too many sleepovers either. But so sad that they do not know how to interact with each other without the device.

So you need to cultivate the boardgaming kids! They are out there - my kid is one. Plus, even if they SAY X doesn't play Boardgames, with a little effort you might find one that all think are fun - Terror in Meeple City, King of Tokyo - especially if they are limited for video games.

They like what the know. We play cards or a board game every single night before bed. I think we are a relic of the past. We got this tradition from my DH'S family and I think it really contributed to how my DH'S brain operates. He can remember everything and look at things 5 steps ahead. It's pretty remarkable. I did not grow up like this and now my 10yr old beats me at chess and is a great Rummy player.

Cards and board games are so much better than video games. We actually interact. Imagine!

Wow. This post is what I imagine when I see the word "judgmental." My family is also hugely into board games - we play several nights a week, often long, drawn out games of Risk, Ticket to Ride, Catan, Seven Wonders, expansions sets, etc. We love to play and have fun together doing so. But I don't think our time spent doing so is any more quality than if we were playing tennis or basketball together, or - horrors! - playing video games together. I also don't think that my kids are any smarter or more strategic thinkers than those kids who spend more time playing video games (and in fact, I think my kids are not as adept as many of their video game loving peers at using a computer or internet research). There are many forms of enjoyment and to each his own!

[Anonymous]

It is just sad that 11 year old cannot think of what else to do with each other. Well the rain isn't helping at all. But still. Most of the kids who come over do not play board games. I don't get this. We play board games as a family - Cataan, Ticket to Ride, etc - but I guess others do not? So the answer to "play a board game" is: "Larlo doesn't play board games." It is not out of control as my 11 year old doesn't do too many sleepovers either. But so sad that they do not know how to interact with each other without the device.


So you need to cultivate the boardgaming kids! They are out there - my kid is one. Plus, even if they SAY X doesn't play Boardgames, with a little effort you might find one that all think are fun - Terror in Meeple City, King of Tokyo - especially if they are limited for video games.


They like what the know. We play cards or a board game every single night before bed. I think we are a relic of the past. We got this tradition from my DH'S family and I think it really contributed to how my DH'S brain operates. He can remember everything and look at things 5 steps ahead. It's pretty remarkable. I did not grow up like this and now my 10yr old beats me at chess and is a great Rummy player.

Cards and board games are so much better than video games. We actually interact. Imagine!

My family also likes board games, but we don't like to play them with judgmental people who think they are better than everyone else.