Always finding fault with DH

[Anonymous]

It's not just what you say it is how you say it. You have to be responsible for the impact of your words.

You may want help,but the impact of your words are you are criticizing.

When I need help I say... I am feeling overwhelmed today, her is my list of things to do ca you do any,, itwould be so helpful.

[Anonymous]

I totally get your need to be a nag OP as it can be pretty frustrating when you must remind a grown adult to do this or that.

However to keep the peace in the home, there must exist some give & take to avoid disaster.

Figure out what things you can let slide a little and what absolutely cannot.

In other words, choose your battles.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:agree with the positive comments. I am a nagger and in the past have focused on the stuff DH doesn't do, but have really made a huge effort in terms of thanks--thanks for making breakfast, thanks emptying the dishwasher, thanks for letting me sleep in--as well as compliments: you look great in a black t shirt, you are an awesome grillmeister. At first I resented thanking him for things he should be doing anyway--his 'chores'--and that I didn't get thanked for, but in fact, things were much more pleasant when I thanked him, he began to thank and notice stuff I did, and then when I wanted to ask him something it was generally coming from a positive place. "Honey, do you mind taking the trash out before tomorrow?" no longer was said, or heard, as an annoyed nag.

Just curious, does he reciprocate on all these positive comments? I have tried this with my DH but find I'm still the one putting in all the work.

So, have a conversation with him and divide up the chores into things you do and things he does. Then just leave the things he's supposed to do for him and stop nagging. A typical example is you cook, he cleans. If he doesn't clean the dishes, then the next day you serve dinner on paper plates. If there are no serving plates, let him know that you won't be cooking dinner the next night because you have nothing to serve it on, so you and the kids will be going out for dinner.

Assign him to do laundry and if it doesn't get done, then you just do a quick load of the clothes that you'll need for the next couple of days. When he runs out of clean underwear and shirts, he'll do the laundry. You might need to do a small load for the kids, too. Just don't do his.

Don't nag, but don't enable him either. Do what you need for yourself and the kids but don't enable him by doing or nagging him into doing his chores.