Invited to friend's second baby shower in 2 years and feeling everything at once.

[Anonymous]

I never go to baby showers, I just send a nice gift. My friends are understanding about it. In your case, I'd probably go for something super practical, like a big supply of diapers.

It can be hard not to judge other people. Finances aside, do you think these people are bad parents? Being on WIC really isn't the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

. go to general parenting and describe this case without saying anything about your IF. see what happens

[Anonymous]

Oh i get it - I really do. After 7 years, we have no biological children. In the first couple of years I drove myself nuts with baby showers.
Now- I NEVER go to them. Really ever. It has been the most freeing thing. I just realized that no one really cares if I am there, and being there was hard, ergo- really no reason to go.
Not going might not be as weird as you think it will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never go to baby showers, I just send a nice gift. My friends are understanding about it. In your case, I'd probably go for something super practical, like a big supply of diapers.

It can be hard not to judge other people. Finances aside, do you think these people are bad parents? Being on WIC really isn't the end of the world.

No I don't think they are bad parents. I just think it's insane to choose to have another baby when you can't afford the one you have. I would be disappointed in this decision regardless of my own circumstances, but it's all the more saddening considering them.

My DH wants to go, so I've decided to suck it up and not make it about me. I will let him pick out the gift. Thanks everyone, even those of you who called me out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh i get it - I really do. After 7 years, we have no biological children. In the first couple of years I drove myself nuts with baby showers.
Now- I NEVER go to them. Really ever. It has been the most freeing thing. I just realized that no one really cares if I am there, and being there was hard, ergo- really no reason to go.
Not going might not be as weird as you think it will be.

Thanks. That might be what I do going forward. This particular friend doesn't have many close female friends so my not being there would be very obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't go. It doesn't sound like you like her anyway.

I agree. Instead of being happy that she is now married and in a good place you are being super judgemental.

[Anonymous]

Mail a gift and don't go. done. There are so many more other things that are actually worth agonizing over, but this is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

Plan a weekend away, send a small gift with your regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never go to baby showers, I just send a nice gift. My friends are understanding about it. In your case, I'd probably go for something super practical, like a big supply of diapers.

It can be hard not to judge other people. Finances aside, do you think these people are bad parents? Being on WIC really isn't the end of the world.

No I don't think they are bad parents. I just think it's insane to choose to have another baby when you can't afford the one you have. I would be disappointed in this decision regardless of my own circumstances, but it's all the more saddening considering them.

My DH wants to go, so I've decided to suck it up and not make it about me. I will let him pick out the gift. Thanks everyone, even those of you who called me out.

Well, that makes him the first man I've ever heard of who wanted to go to a baby shower. I think you are going to be miserable, but if you can tough it out, I guess good for you?