"Girls and Sex" Author on Diane Rehm Show

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:8:00 here. Thank you, OP, for posting the link, as it's a very important discussion topic. I'm just unable to listen right now and am wondering what perspective Diane's guest is coming from.

I think far too many parents have no clue how severely HS/middle school sex is impacting our culture. The CDC has just announced that the biggest jump in suicides is among girls aged 10-14.

Anyone think that premature sex has nothing to do with that?

Anyone think girls aren't suffering from depression when they get dumped by the 'boy of their dreams'?



The CDC didn't just announce it- they announced it in 2007. Why would you think the issue is sex and boys? Those issues have been around forever. Social media, however, has made bullying and shaming a national sport in middle school.


Wrong. The rate among girls ten to fourteen has now tripled.
Of course it's getting fueled by a multitude of reasons, including more and more kids raising themselves in an empty home after school. When and where do you think it's so convenient to have sex?



What studies show "more and more kids raising themselves in an empty home after school"?


+1. The sad fact is that the suicide rate has jumped for all age groups, not just for girls 10-14. It's true that the largest increase has been seen in females in this age group, but that's in part because the base was so small to begin with. (The suicide rate among girls 10-14 is very low compared with rates for other age groups and compared with males of any age.) The suicide rate among boys 10-14 is 75% higher than the rate for girls of the same age, and it also has grown alarmingly.

The CDC has also found that the percent of teens having sex has declined over the past 25 years. So at least for kids 15-19, those empty homes don't seem to be inducing more sexual behavior. However, I can't find any data on sexual activity in kids under 15, so it's possible that, though the overall rate has fallen, more young teens are having sex than before.

Still, I think, given the overall suicide trends, it's fair to surmise that there is a larger cultural problem here, not something that is specific to girls and their sexual activity.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:8:00 here. Thank you, OP, for posting the link, as it's a very important discussion topic. I'm just unable to listen right now and am wondering what perspective Diane's guest is coming from.

I think far too many parents have no clue how severely HS/middle school sex is impacting our culture. The CDC has just announced that the biggest jump in suicides is among girls aged 10-14.

Anyone think that premature sex has nothing to do with that?

Anyone think girls aren't suffering from depression when they get dumped by the 'boy of their dreams'?



What is "premature sex"?

Also, teenagers are actually waiting longer to have sex than they used to; teenagers are more likely to describe their first sexual activity as "wanted" (vs. "unwanted") than they used to; and use of contraceptives has increased as well.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/american-teens-sexual-and-reproductive-health
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:8:00 here. Thank you, OP, for posting the link, as it's a very important discussion topic. I'm just unable to listen right now and am wondering what perspective Diane's guest is coming from.

I think far too many parents have no clue how severely HS/middle school sex is impacting our culture. The CDC has just announced that the biggest jump in suicides is among girls aged 10-14.

Anyone think that premature sex has nothing to do with that?

Anyone think girls aren't suffering from depression when they get dumped by the 'boy of their dreams'?



What is "premature sex"?

Also, teenagers are actually waiting longer to have sex than they used to; teenagers are more likely to describe their first sexual activity as "wanted" (vs. "unwanted") than they used to; and use of contraceptives has increased as well.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/american-teens-sexual-and-reproductive-health

Seriously, what is premature sex, as if there wasn't such a thing? Are you crazy?

Let me guess, you teach sex ed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:8:00 here. Thank you, OP, for posting the link, as it's a very important discussion topic. I'm just unable to listen right now and am wondering what perspective Diane's guest is coming from.

I think far too many parents have no clue how severely HS/middle school sex is impacting our culture. The CDC has just announced that the biggest jump in suicides is among girls aged 10-14.

Anyone think that premature sex has nothing to do with that?

Anyone think girls aren't suffering from depression when they get dumped by the 'boy of their dreams'?



What is "premature sex"?

Also, teenagers are actually waiting longer to have sex than they used to; teenagers are more likely to describe their first sexual activity as "wanted" (vs. "unwanted") than they used to; and use of contraceptives has increased as well.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/american-teens-sexual-and-reproductive-health

Seriously, what is premature sex, as if there wasn't such a thing? Are you crazy?

Let me guess, you teach sex ed.


That doesn't answer the question.
Anonymous
I don't know anybody who regretted having sex too late.
I know many who wish they had waited longer.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't know anybody who regretted having sex too late.
I know many who wish they had waited longer.


Really? I know people who do.

And actually I don't remember hearing anybody I know, whose first experience was consensual and non-coercive, saying that they wished they had waited longer to have their first experience.

But is that the definition of "premature sex"? Sex that, in hindsight, you wish that you had had later than you did? I wouldn't think that this would be limited to certain ages.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, it was the girls who were pushing for sex and boyfriends. The girls mature faster, the boys never get a talk about what to do if you do not want to have sex with a girl. It just assumed as a boy, you want to have sex with any girl and you know what to do.


Totally wondering how old you are, pp. I'm in my late 40's, and I don't think this was true for my peer group, but I do sense that there's been a change and I'm wondering when it happenned.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, it was the girls who were pushing for sex and boyfriends. The girls mature faster, the boys never get a talk about what to do if you do not want to have sex with a girl. It just assumed as a boy, you want to have sex with any girl and you know what to do.


Totally wondering how old you are, pp. I'm in my late 40's, and I don't think this was true for my peer group, but I do sense that there's been a change and I'm wondering when it happenned.


I'm in my late 40s too, and it was certainly assumed when I was growing up that as a boy, you want to have sex with any girl. A girl could always say no to a boy, and a girl could sometimes say yes to a boy under certain circumstances, but if a boy said no to a girl, the assumption was that there was something horrific about the girl, or that the boy was gay and could be insulted and beaten up accordingly.

I'm planning to read Peggy Orenstein's book.
Anonymous
as a mom to teenaged boys, I have no idea what planet you all live on, but girls are AGRESSIVE these days. My oldest is an attractive, popular athlete and the texts these women send him? Wow! I monitor his phone and see him NEVER send out something suggestive while these girls behave like absolute pigs. I monitor his phone because I don't want ANY nude pics coming over that HE as a MALE will get in trouble for since MALES in this culture are public enemy #1, even when the girl is the antagonizer.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:8:00 here. Thank you, OP, for posting the link, as it's a very important discussion topic. I'm just unable to listen right now and am wondering what perspective Diane's guest is coming from.

I think far too many parents have no clue how severely HS/middle school sex is impacting our culture. The CDC has just announced that the biggest jump in suicides is among girls aged 10-14.

Anyone think that premature sex has nothing to do with that?

Anyone think girls aren't suffering from depression when they get dumped by the 'boy of their dreams'?



What is "premature sex"?

Also, teenagers are actually waiting longer to have sex than they used to; teenagers are more likely to describe their first sexual activity as "wanted" (vs. "unwanted") than they used to; and use of contraceptives has increased as well.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/american-teens-sexual-and-reproductive-health


They may be waiting longer to have penetrative intercourse, but kids are sexually active earlier. More oral sex, for example, is one of the things discussed on the show. More kids also do anal now.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

They may be waiting longer to have penetrative intercourse, but kids are sexually active earlier. More oral sex, for example, is one of the things discussed on the show. More kids also do anal now.


Data source for the "earlier" and "more", please?
Anonymous
OP here. I find it interesting no one wants to reply to my 9:21 post. Crickets as usual.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:8:00 here. Thank you, OP, for posting the link, as it's a very important discussion topic. I'm just unable to listen right now and am wondering what perspective Diane's guest is coming from.

I think far too many parents have no clue how severely HS/middle school sex is impacting our culture. The CDC has just announced that the biggest jump in suicides is among girls aged 10-14.

Anyone think that premature sex has nothing to do with that?

Anyone think girls aren't suffering from depression when they get dumped by the 'boy of their dreams'?



What is "premature sex"?

Also, teenagers are actually waiting longer to have sex than they used to; teenagers are more likely to describe their first sexual activity as "wanted" (vs. "unwanted") than they used to; and use of contraceptives has increased as well.

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/american-teens-sexual-and-reproductive-health


They may be waiting longer to have penetrative intercourse, but kids are sexually active earlier. More oral sex, for example, is one of the things discussed on the show. More kids also do anal now.

I agree, although there'll be no proof, per se.

I doubt they'll allow you to observe just to verify their sexual activities.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I find it interesting no one wants to reply to my 9:21 post. Crickets as usual.


There was nothing really to respond to.

My girl is not old enough to talk about masturbation, but I have with my boys and asked them to do it in privacy and to clean up after (not throw the sock on the floor!). Nothing is wrong with it and we don't treat is like it is dirty. My daughter would touch herself when she was little because it made her feel good and we would always tell her that it is OK to do, but to please do that in her room and not at the kitchen table.

Personally, I would have died if my mom would have talked to me about my clit or masturbation. I would not have been interested in that convo at all. I had plenty of sorrid books that explained these things in graphic detail. THe important thing is to NEVER treat sex or sexuality like it is dirty.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I find it interesting no one wants to reply to my 9:21 post. Crickets as usual.


This question?

How many moms here have broached either topic at all?


We haven't talked about it. But I did buy the kid Our Bodies, Ourselves. Does that count?
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