Boss treating me differently for being a woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I travel 50% for work, much of which is international. An assignment came up that would require travel to a place that was not the safest local, especially as a woman traveling alone. My boss brought it up and mentioned that he wouldn't recommend I take it, I agreed, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to ask for a travel exemption.

Truth is there are still many places in the world that are unsafe to travel as a woman alone. Trust me, your boss was doing you a favor.

It was Eastern Europe, not the Sudan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I travel 50% for work, much of which is international. An assignment came up that would require travel to a place that was not the safest local, especially as a woman traveling alone. My boss brought it up and mentioned that he wouldn't recommend I take it, I agreed, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to ask for a travel exemption.

Truth is there are still many places in the world that are unsafe to travel as a woman alone. Trust me, your boss was doing you a favor.

It was Eastern Europe, not the Sudan.

Also, PPs boss brought it up and gave PP the option and some say in the matter. Huge difference between that and a boss unilaterally deciding on a woman's behalf that she can't go due to her gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I travel 50% for work, much of which is international. An assignment came up that would require travel to a place that was not the safest local, especially as a woman traveling alone. My boss brought it up and mentioned that he wouldn't recommend I take it, I agreed, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to ask for a travel exemption.

Truth is there are still many places in the world that are unsafe to travel as a woman alone. Trust me, your boss was doing you a favor.

It was Eastern Europe, not the Sudan.

I'm the OP you're quoting. Have you ever been to Eastern Europe? I have many times. It's not as safe as you seem to think that it is.

Get off of your feminist high-horse and get pragmatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I travel 50% for work, much of which is international. An assignment came up that would require travel to a place that was not the safest local, especially as a woman traveling alone. My boss brought it up and mentioned that he wouldn't recommend I take it, I agreed, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to ask for a travel exemption.

Truth is there are still many places in the world that are unsafe to travel as a woman alone. Trust me, your boss was doing you a favor.

It was Eastern Europe, not the Sudan.

Also, PPs boss brought it up and gave PP the option and some say in the matter. Huge difference between that and a boss unilaterally deciding on a woman's behalf that she can't go due to her gender.

Sorry, no. The boss determines who gets what assignments. That's why he's the boss. He made a stupid joke, yes, but it sounds like she was't going to get it anyway regardless of gender. He was looking for an excuse. It's crummy, yes, but it's still his prerogative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I travel 50% for work, much of which is international. An assignment came up that would require travel to a place that was not the safest local, especially as a woman traveling alone. My boss brought it up and mentioned that he wouldn't recommend I take it, I agreed, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to ask for a travel exemption.

Truth is there are still many places in the world that are unsafe to travel as a woman alone. Trust me, your boss was doing you a favor.

It was Eastern Europe, not the Sudan.

Also, PPs boss brought it up and gave PP the option and some say in the matter. Huge difference between that and a boss unilaterally deciding on a woman's behalf that she can't go due to her gender.

Sorry, no. The boss determines who gets what assignments. That's why he's the boss. He made a stupid joke, yes, but it sounds like she was't going to get it anyway regardless of gender. He was looking for an excuse. It's crummy, yes, but it's still his prerogative.

Nope, bosses do NOT have prerogative to make discriminatory decisions based on gender. Not how it works. The only reason he gave OP was her gender. Seriously, what is the matter with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I travel 50% for work, much of which is international. An assignment came up that would require travel to a place that was not the safest local, especially as a woman traveling alone. My boss brought it up and mentioned that he wouldn't recommend I take it, I agreed, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to ask for a travel exemption.

Truth is there are still many places in the world that are unsafe to travel as a woman alone. Trust me, your boss was doing you a favor.

It was Eastern Europe, not the Sudan.

Also, PPs boss brought it up and gave PP the option and some say in the matter. Huge difference between that and a boss unilaterally deciding on a woman's behalf that she can't go due to her gender.

Sorry, no. The boss determines who gets what assignments. That's why he's the boss. He made a stupid joke, yes, but it sounds like she was't going to get it anyway regardless of gender. He was looking for an excuse. It's crummy, yes, but it's still his prerogative.

Nope, bosses do NOT have prerogative to make discriminatory decisions based on gender. Not how it works. The only reason he gave OP was her gender. Seriously, what is the matter with you?

It's one thing if he never let her travel but she travels frequently so that demonstrates he values her. He gave a risky assignment to someone else that has the ability to travel more freely in the country without threatening personal security. This is a major work liability. Sorry, the boss did the right thing -- he may be an asshole -- but he did the right thing for the company and this employee. It's not sexist to acknowledge some places are not as safe for women traveling alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have said to him right when he made the comment "Thank you for considering my safety, but as an adult, I am confident in my ability to make my own decisions about my safety."

+1 million.

And follow up in writing: "Dear Larlo, following up on your explanation for why I was not sent to Latvia, (my husband would not allow it) I would like to memorialize that I am available for all foreign travel regardless of destination and that my spouse plays no role in my decision making or availability. I look forward to being given the very next complex travel assignment of my choosing." And cc: HR and his boss.

OP, this is clearly discrimination.

+100. There's a supreme court case on this- where an employer would not allow women of child bearing age to work in a certain area of the factory where they could potentially be exposed to hazardous chemicals. Women sued saying that they could make those decisions themselves, and they won. Johnson Controls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I travel 50% for work, much of which is international. An assignment came up that would require travel to a place that was not the safest local, especially as a woman traveling alone. My boss brought it up and mentioned that he wouldn't recommend I take it, I agreed, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to ask for a travel exemption.

Truth is there are still many places in the world that are unsafe to travel as a woman alone. Trust me, your boss was doing you a favor.

It was Eastern Europe, not the Sudan.

I'm the OP you're quoting. Have you ever been to Eastern Europe? I have many times. It's not as safe as you seem to think that it is.

Get off of your feminist high-horse and get pragmatic.

if it's so fucking dangerous why did you go? You should find a job where your boss values your delicate lady self and sends the man.

[Anonymous]

My (female) cousin and some of my (female) friends have gone to Guinea and Sierra Leone for work. My Godmother founded a charity in northern Pakistan. I worry about them.
Eastern Europe is not that dangerous. You have a number of options:

1. You could make this into a big fight, because it IS discrimination.

2. You could also joke about it, and next time it comes up, laugh and say "Tread lightly, Joe - you know this is discrimination, right? We're not in 1950 anymore, my husband doesn't get to decide where I go!"

3. You could also look at your schedule, look at the discomfort traveling as a woman in a not-so-safe country can bring, and let it go.

I would pick 2.