Should I see this as a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Red flag. I wouldn't run away but I would carefully observe their relationship. I think she either (1) has a thing for him he's in denial about, (2) is territorial in a protective way, or (3) is territorial in a crazy way (I don't want him but no one else can have him). Either way she could become an issue for you -- or a big supporter of yours. The way I dealt with DH's friend like this was to treat her like she was his closest friend (and therefore someone I really wanted to get to know and impress). I gave her lots of attention and every reason to like me and it worked. I'm still not really sure what their dynamic was completely, but she doesn't really turn up so much anymore and when she does she's always good for a couple of "you better not mess this one up [DH]" type comments.

I wouldn't assume there is anything actively going on with them right now though bc why would he introduce you to her. But yeah, eyes peeled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flag. I wouldn't run away but I would carefully observe their relationship. I think she either (1) has a thing for him he's in denial about, (2) is territorial in a protective way, or (3) is territorial in a crazy way (I don't want him but no one else can have him). Either way she could become an issue for you -- or a big supporter of yours. The way I dealt with DH's friend like this was to treat her like she was his closest friend (and therefore someone I really wanted to get to know and impress). I gave her lots of attention and every reason to like me and it worked. I'm still not really sure what their dynamic was completely, but she doesn't really turn up so much anymore and when she does she's always good for a couple of "you better not mess this one up [DH]" type comments.

I wouldn't assume there is anything actively going on with them right now though bc why would he introduce you to her. But yeah, eyes peeled.

When I first started dating DH, he had just broken things off with a FWB. They stayed friends but she was being inappropriate in group settings. I tried to be really nice to her, then I spoke to her politely and asked her to stop. She didnt. Then I talked to my then BF about appropriate boundaries when you are dating someone, and he talked to her about it. She refused to change anything about what she was doing, including joking about how often they had had sex in front of lots of people. He cut her off.

DH didn't see a problem with it at first because he is too nice sometimes and gives people too much slack. But when he finally saw how much it hurt and humiliated me then he stuck up for me.

So yeah, not a deal breaker if he is grest in other ways but keep your eyes open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flag. Wtf, tickling among adults? Give me a break, I have a real brother and I haven't tickled him in 20 years since we were 10 and 4 so the "like a sister" argument always blows my mind if you aren't acting as real siblings do.

If he really cared, he could have assuaged your feelings by telling you he'd ask her to keep the touching to a minimum if it made you uncomfortable.

Not saying dump the guy, but just know this woman is probably going to be a thorn further down the line if he lets her.

What she said.
It will never stop - do you really want this in your relationship forever?
It makes you feel sucky and unloved - it will just get worse.