Holiday Visit- say no to MIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you said no, stick with it. But I think you should have said yes. She sounds like an easy houseguest, and your parents could suck it up for ONE day.

I agree. You said your MIL keeps herself pretty entertained, your parents really can't hack it for a couple of hours?

I agree too. You prefer your own parents - fine. Having everyone together short-term can't be that big a deal.

But the thing is, her parents haven't seen the kids in months. Mil can presumably come up whenever. Why should the parents have to share grandchild time just so MIL can get her fickle way?[/quote]

As OP said, MIL doesn't interact with the kids that much anyways. MIL has to drive home that day so probably wouldn't stay all that late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you said no, stick with it. But I think you should have said yes. She sounds like an easy houseguest, and your parents could suck it up for ONE day.

I agree. You said your MIL keeps herself pretty entertained, your parents really can't hack it for a couple of hours?

When there are 364 other days of the year MIL could be there...

[Anonymous]

Can you rethink your hosting standards perhaps?

Maybe MIL would be happy to come but not have everything done for her - so you would be responsible for clean sheets and a clean bathroom on the day of her arrival, but could maybe eat out or order in, and ask DH or herself to cook?

And definitely tell DH that hosting is too getting too much, and you need him to help out more, otherwise you'll start refusing the visits.

[Anonymous]

Op here- I forgot to mention that I am currently pregnant with baby number three and just so, so tired. Does that change anyone's answer?

[Anonymous]

How many guest rooms do you have? Where is everyone staying? Is your DH helpful?

I wouldn't host 2 sets at the same time, but if it's an Easter lunch, that's different to me. I would love to have everyone together on a holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I forgot to mention that I am currently pregnant with baby number three and just so, so tired. Does that change anyone's answer?

not really. You seem to be very pro-your parents, which is understandable, but does having them there help you, or stress you? Why can't your husband and parents help with the household stuff while they are there?

[Anonymous]

I think I would say yes, provided that DH helps out while everyone is there.

And, OP, you get bonus points for using nonplussed appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. No way would I say yes to that, and I wouldn't feel a shred of guilt.

There is plenty of other time your MIL could visit.

This. I'd say no to her, and then ask if she was available any weekend of the following times and list three weekends she can come up. Then the ball is in her court to make the visit happen.

[Anonymous]

I'd say no because the morning of the day she's leaving you have to strip the bed, do the sheets/towels laundry, get the bed put back together and clean the bathroom in time for your parents to arrive. No thanks, I'm not a hotel.

I have my parents a 6 hour drive away (who come every 6 weeks or so) and my ILs a 6 hour flight away. I can't stand my ILs for a variety of reasons, however, they come infrequently, so if my parents were to propose anything like you described I would put my parents off, no questions. (Though they'd never propose such a thing as they prefer not to spend time with my ILs either!)

[Anonymous]

+1. No reason to stress yourself out when MIL could easily come another time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would say yes, provided that DH helps out while everyone is there.

And, OP, you get bonus points for using nonplussed appropriately.

Ha! Thank you! I didn't realize it was often misused!

[Anonymous]

You both are wrong. Nonplussed means confused. Look it up. It is often misused as in the OP.

[Anonymous]

This is easy: no. A week or two later or earlier, sure. There is no reason to double up/extend hosting like this. She is being unreasonable. As long as you've offered a comparable replacement date, you have nothing to feel bad about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both are wrong. Nonplussed means confused. Look it up. It is often misused as in the OP.

My parents would be confused and bewildered by the presence of MIL when they have had this visit planned for months. Boo yah!- op

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a tiny deal. Just let her come.