How TF should I have answered this?

[Anonymous]

OP, just keep trying to see your niece and forming a bond with her. This can very much be it's own thing. Once she is a toddler, she will ADORE a familiar face who showers her with attention and love.

Life is long. Be there and try to stay in her life, just for the sake that it sounds like your brother and SIL are NUTS and she could use a normal family member around.

Also, they might end up having another kid and chances are they'll get a lot less psycho about who watches the kids because they will be tired.

Hang in there. Be loving, be present. If they are rude to you, stick up for yourself. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

[
They are flat out horrible people. Just don't expose yourself to that level of awfulness right now, OP. Maybe when the baby is older and can decide for herself who she likes and doesn't like you can develop a relationship with her.

+1

You don't need to form a relationship with her now to have one with her later. In that family, she'll probably need a kind soul in her life. I remember your other posts and have thought about you from time to time. I'm in a place right now where I'm trying to work my on myself but feel like I'm surrounded by horrible people and it's hard to get that negativity out of my head and make space for my own stuff. Please be kind to yourself (easier said than done).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[
They are flat out horrible people. Just don't expose yourself to that level of awfulness right now, OP. Maybe when the baby is older and can decide for herself who she likes and doesn't like you can develop a relationship with her.

+1

You don't need to form a relationship with her now to have one with her later. In that family, she'll probably need a kind soul in her life. I remember your other posts and have thought about you from time to time. I'm in a place right now where I'm trying to work my on myself but feel like I'm surrounded by horrible people and it's hard to get that negativity out of my head and make space for my own stuff. Please be kind to yourself (easier said than done).

Thanks for this PP. Really. Thank you a lot. I am hesitant to cut them out of my life, because quite simply, my life is very empty right now. I have been feeling quite lonely the last year or so, and I'm already SO VERY isolated. But maybe it's better to have even fewer than to have people who are like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[
They are flat out horrible people. Just don't expose yourself to that level of awfulness right now, OP. Maybe when the baby is older and can decide for herself who she likes and doesn't like you can develop a relationship with her.

+1

You don't need to form a relationship with her now to have one with her later. In that family, she'll probably need a kind soul in her life. I remember your other posts and have thought about you from time to time. I'm in a place right now where I'm trying to work my on myself but feel like I'm surrounded by horrible people and it's hard to get that negativity out of my head and make space for my own stuff. Please be kind to yourself (easier said than done).

Thanks for this PP. Really. Thank you a lot. I am hesitant to cut them out of my life, because quite simply, my life is very empty right now. I have been feeling quite lonely the last year or so, and I'm already SO VERY isolated. But maybe it's better to have even fewer than to have people who are like them.

You're welcome OP. I feel like I can really relate to what you're going through. I'm trying to limit contact with people without cutting them out completely, for the same reason as you, my life would be empty without them.

[Anonymous]

I remember your earlier posts.

My general reaction is to back off. Once a month visits to a couple you otherwise might not see that often and don't seem to be close to might be way too much the first six months post-partum for your SIL.

Don't offer to babysit anymore, see them as you see them, wait longer than you normally do to "invite yourself over" as you yourself put it. Give them some space. I have a feeling they'll lighten up over time, but the first year of the first child is really intense, and you're so wrapped up in whatever feelings of hurt that you have, that it's just not a good dynamic right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[
They are flat out horrible people. Just don't expose yourself to that level of awfulness right now, OP. Maybe when the baby is older and can decide for herself who she likes and doesn't like you can develop a relationship with her.

+1

You don't need to form a relationship with her now to have one with her later. In that family, she'll probably need a kind soul in her life. I remember your other posts and have thought about you from time to time. I'm in a place right now where I'm trying to work my on myself but feel like I'm surrounded by horrible people and it's hard to get that negativity out of my head and make space for my own stuff. Please be kind to yourself (easier said than done).

Thanks for this PP. Really. Thank you a lot. I am hesitant to cut them out of my life, because quite simply, my life is very empty right now. I have been feeling quite lonely the last year or so, and I'm already SO VERY isolated. But maybe it's better to have even fewer than to have people who are like them.

Your posts scream that you could use some therapy, OP. Take charge of your life. Find a passion, find good people to be around, set up some boundaries with your crazy family, stop looking for so much validation. How old are you? Early 20s? Go have fun and figure out your own life.

[Anonymous]

So you think they are assholes but you want to play with their baby? I can see why they'd be resistant to that. If you have a poor relationship with them why would they want you around their baby? It's not like you're entitled to baby time or anything. I would try to figure out how to improve your relationship with your brother at least a bit if you want to be a part of niece's life.

[Anonymous]

Honestly with that weird line of questioning I would've thought that maybe he was literally asking you what to do with the baby as in he did not know. It sounds like he was asking advice for how to play with her and maybe he's overwhelmed with playing with her. So I would've said what would you like me to do or what do you play with her?

Having said that his questions aren't the problem the rest of their behavior is. I would lay low and try to back off and enjoy my time in my shit hole apartment instead. It's a way better option.

[Anonymous]

Op lets troubleshoot this shithole apartment of yours. Not for the brother and SIL, or for the baby necessarily, but for you! You need a couch and stuff. I think sprucing up your environment would do you good! Spring cleaning always gives me a little boost.

Do you have room for a couch, love seat? A couple of chairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op lets troubleshoot this shithole apartment of yours. Not for the brother and SIL, or for the baby necessarily, but for you! You need a couch and stuff. I think sprucing up your environment would do you good! Spring cleaning always gives me a little boost.

Do you have room for a couch, love seat? A couple of chairs?

Exactly! Have you discovered Freecyle? We got a like-new small couch from Ikea. We're also getting ready to do some purging and put everything on Freecycle.