My mother just called to complain about a gift I sent her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it seems like it isn't only your mother's lackluster response to the gift, but her timing that's an issue. I get that. My MIL has a gift for calling at the worst times and then doesn't understand why we don't answer her calls. For your own sanity, don't take calls when things are crazy at home. Let whoever it is leave a message and call them back when it's good for you.

FWIW, I think your mother was rude. Even if she didn't like the gift as much as last year's, she could still thank you for thinking of her. Next year, save yourself the effort and send her a gift card.

But if the mother was nice, she'd keep getting the photo album every year forever. I think with close family members you can show preference. I wouldn't want a photo album or photo calendar. It's much better to see the pics on a shared photo album on an ipad instead.

PP here, no I think the mom could have stated a preference without being unappreciative. Whether she liked the gift or not, her daughter did take the time and effort to send her a present and remember her for her birthday. Being appreciative and gently stating a preference aren't mutually exclusive. This year, my mother didn't even call, text, or email me for my birthday, so don't take for granted that close family members always remember each other!

[Anonymous]

OP here. It is not her birthday or any other occasion. It is a just because gift.

[Anonymous]

So, if your MIL sent only a framed picture of herself to you for Christmas, you'd be cool with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is not her birthday or any other occasion. It is a just because gift.

That makes the bitchiness of her reaction that much worse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, if your MIL sent only a framed picture of herself to you for Christmas, you'd be cool with that?

My MIL has done this, as has my very elderly grandfather with his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, if your MIL sent only a framed picture of herself to you for Christmas, you'd be cool with that?

My MIL has done this, as has my very elderly grandfather with his wife.

Hey, Snarky McSnarkinson it was just a "just because" gift. No big high freaking holiday or birthday was apparently riding on this gift. It was a pictorial documentation of this women's grandchildren. She should have shown some appreciation and grace. OP, your mom kinda sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is not her birthday or any other occasion. It is a just because gift.

That makes the bitchiness of her reaction that much worse!

Yea, that really changes things. That sucks, OP, sorry she reacted that way. Maybe just make the albums for yourself in the future. They take quite a bit of time to put together (at least they do for me) so I wouldn't want to bother doing all that for someone who is just going to critique the gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is not her birthday or any other occasion. It is a just because gift.

Well then she can just kick rocks.

Geez. Save your time and energy and don't get it next year. I get my mother photo gifts of my son all the time.
Typically the just b/c reason is I have some sort of Shutterfly coupon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, if your MIL sent only a framed picture of herself to you for Christmas, you'd be cool with that?

Oh for goodness sake. It's about grandkids! Not the OP, but my parents and my in-laws are thrilled every year that we give them a calendar with pictures of the kids on it. My MIL specifically has said, this is my favorite present, I was hoping you'd do it again this year. What grandparent doesn't love to get pictures of her grandchildren? Apparently some, but that seems kind of sad to me.

And OP said this isn't a present for a specific holiday/special occasion, it's a just-because gift. Let her vent.

[Anonymous]

Those photo gifts (books, calendars, etc.) can take FOREVER. I just would stop doing it if I wasn't even going to get a thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, if your MIL sent only a framed picture of herself to you for Christmas, you'd be cool with that?

My MIL has done this, as has my very elderly grandfather with his wife.

Hey, Snarky McSnarkinson it was just a "just because" gift. No big high freaking holiday or birthday was apparently riding on this gift. It was a pictorial documentation of this women's grandchildren. She should have shown some appreciation and grace. OP, your mom kinda sucks.

PP here, I'm not sure why saying that my MIL and grandfather did the same thing makes me a Snarky McSnarkinson, but whatever. I also posted earlier in the thread that the OP's mom should have shown appreciation, even if she also said she'd preferred a different gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is not her birthday or any other occasion. It is a just because gift.

Ok, that makes it really egregious!

I agree with the PP who suggested not picking up the phone during stressful times.

[Anonymous]

Friend's Mother called and complained about her Mother's Day Flowers, "they were a bunch of weeds". Usually a reasonable woman but she is elderly now - and people lose the ability to filter what they say, to some degree, as they age. Also knowing my friend, and knowing her Mother - the Mother is very traditional and I'm sure my earthy-crunchy friend ordered an arrangement of wild flowers. Kind of intentional. They've always been at odds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend's Mother called and complained about her Mother's Day Flowers, "they were a bunch of weeds". Usually a reasonable woman but she is elderly now - and people lose the ability to filter what they say, to some degree, as they age. Also knowing my friend, and knowing her Mother - the Mother is very traditional and I'm sure my earthy-crunchy friend ordered an arrangement of wild flowers. Kind of intentional. They've always been at odds.

If put politely I would like to know about this. Flowers are so damned expensive I would want to know if my $60 bouquet was a supermarket reject bouquet.
But I get your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend's Mother called and complained about her Mother's Day Flowers, "they were a bunch of weeds". Usually a reasonable woman but she is elderly now - and people lose the ability to filter what they say, to some degree, as they age. Also knowing my friend, and knowing her Mother - the Mother is very traditional and I'm sure my earthy-crunchy friend ordered an arrangement of wild flowers. Kind of intentional. They've always been at odds.

If put politely I would like to know about this. Flowers are so damned expensive I would want to know if my $60 bouquet was a supermarket reject bouquet.
But I get your point.

Agreed! Sometimes, you don't know what people receive when you send something. One way to handle it if you're the recipient of crappy flowers is to take a photo and send it with your thank you...