Is having 3 kids harder now than it was when they were little?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YEah, sorry to be a downer, but it doesnt' stop being hard. But the problems do change. We all tell new moms that it gets easier, but that's just because we feel sorry for you and want to make you feel better. Raising children is hard, and demanding, regardless of age. I'm sure my 70 year old parents are getting sick of bailing my 40 year old sister out of her tax issues too. And I can guarantee you my MIL is worn out, exhausted, and defeated by the multiple divorces of her children. But hey! It's not diapers!

I am a parent to two older kids. I can say very honestly that it is WAY easier than it was when they were little and not sleeping and so very needy every hour of the day. I think that parents who say otherwise either have very challenging kids or have truly forgotten how tough those early years can be.

That's not to say that my kids require less parenting than they did when they were little. They have new issues every week that we need to handle! But it's so much easier and with a better fun-to-drudgery ratio than when they were 5 and under.

[Anonymous]

Also nice when they can start helping with chores. My kids now unload the diswasher and the 10 year old does the recycling. Sometimes they sweep even! It's just a big help to not have to do every single thing.
Also, summer sleep away camp is crazy helpful. It's like all of a sudden you realize why moms with only 2 kids are so much saner than you are! And my oldest loves sleep away so it's win win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine are 16, 14, and 11. They are difficult in a much different way. We battle about cell phones, clothes, lost sports gear, curfews, chores and homework. We have tutors and sports practices, fundraisers and field trips that take a ton of time, money and energy. School is much more demanding, and each child has different needs that we have to meet while they are fighting us the entire way. Little kids are physically exhausting, but teenagers take an emotional toll that we did not expect.

Agree 100%. I'll take the physical exhaustion of younger kids over the mental exhaustion of my 10 and 12 year olds anyway. Again, just a different kind of hard.

and I'll vote the opposite...I'll take the exhaustion of someone that you can attempt to reason with than the unrelenting physical exhaustion of toddlers. I wanted a 3rd and have never quite gotten over the exhaustion and feeling of desperation for reprieve with my 2nd when they were a toddler to venture into doing it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine are 16, 14, and 11. They are difficult in a much different way. We battle about cell phones, clothes, lost sports gear, curfews, chores and homework. We have tutors and sports practices, fundraisers and field trips that take a ton of time, money and energy. School is much more demanding, and each child has different needs that we have to meet while they are fighting us the entire way. Little kids are physically exhausting, but teenagers take an emotional toll that we did not expect.

I agree with this poster and others -- it's a different kind of hard.

For example, my 11 year old dd had a sleepover birthday party this weekend. I fed the girls twice (pizza and veggies/dip, then cupcakes/ice cream) but other than that the girls were all in the basement family room watching a movie and chattering up a storm. My husband and I kicked back with drinks in front of the fireplace upstairs and got to hang out with each other -- no party games, goody bags, washing hands, and crowd control issues like all the younger-age birthday parties we've lived through!

On the other hand -- the emotional drama. Oh my. Mine are 13, 11, and 8 -- the older two are well into the teen/pre-teen drama years. In addition to all the logistics of busy kids, the emotional work can't be understated. Our kids are great kids with no particular issues that make things challenging -- and we are still exhausted on a regular basis from the sturm und drang.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have three but I can tell you that having two, ages 9 and 7, is 1,000,000 times easier than having a 5 and a 3 year old. And possibly 2,000,000 times easier than having a 3 and a 1 year old.

Not OP, but this is what I wanted to hear! I have a 5 and 1 year old, and feel like collapsing every night. I need to be "on" from the moment they wake up to when they go to sleep.

Life gets substantially easier when your youngest turns 4.

+1000

DC2 will soon be 5 and our lives are SO MUCH FUN!

[Anonymous]

Mine are now 19, 17 and 15.
I would switch places with OP in a heartbeat and never leave that sweet time when the hardest part of parenting had to do with pee and poop.

[Anonymous]

I have three kids but they are 7, 5, and 1. Our transition to three has been substantially easier than our transition to two kids... the key was that the older two are just that - older. Anything under the age of four makes life difficult... potty training, naps, tantrums, etc. Just hold out for the good times, OP!

[Anonymous]

It gets easier as they can take care of themselves more but as they grow it's little kids little problems. big kids big problems. the teenage years will definitely wear on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids but they are 7, 5, and 1. Our transition to three has been substantially easier than our transition to two kids... the key was that the older two are just that - older. Anything under the age of four makes life difficult... potty training, naps, tantrums, etc. Just hold out for the good times, OP!

Almost same here, except 7, 4, and still a baby. My just-turned-4 year old is becoming so much easier, and our transition to three has been pretty seamless because the older two have a little independence. We are definitely done, so I can see the light at the end of the little kid tunnel in 3-4 years! Of course, bigger kids bring other challenges. I think it's always hard in some ways. Love having three though, wouldn't want it any other way!

[Anonymous]

My younger two are still little (and driving me crazy), but the easiest time with the oldest was between 7 and 11. Then the hormones kick in and you get a whole host of other problems.

[Anonymous]

I needed this post today! DH is out of town, and I'm at home with 3 boys aged 6, 3 (almost 4), and 1 (almost 2). The two younger ones are so active and impulsive that going anywhere feels impossible. The 6 year old is amazing...and I've been fantasizing about what it will be like when the youngest is 6. I wake up exhausted and feel no motivation to drag them all to a museum or any of the other "fun" activities I had planned for Spring Break. I know older ages have their challenges, too, but right now three lazy teens who want to stay in their rooms and sleep all day sounds like a dream (a foolish dream, I know...).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine are 16, 14, and 11. They are difficult in a much different way. We battle about cell phones, clothes, lost sports gear, curfews, chores and homework. We have tutors and sports practices, fundraisers and field trips that take a ton of time, money and energy. School is much more demanding, and each child has different needs that we have to meet while they are fighting us the entire way. Little kids are physically exhausting, but teenagers take an emotional toll that we did not expect.

Agree 100%. I'll take the physical exhaustion of younger kids over the mental exhaustion of my 10 and 12 year olds anyway. Again, just a different kind of hard.

and I'll vote the opposite...I'll take the exhaustion of someone that you can attempt to reason with than the unrelenting physical exhaustion of toddlers. I wanted a 3rd and have never quite gotten over the exhaustion and feeling of desperation for reprieve with my 2nd when they were a toddler to venture into doing it again.

+1. I'll take the hormonal teen years over babies and toddlers too. There are stressful days with the older ones and it is definitely hard work, but no way would I go back to having little ones again.

[Anonymous]

I still have little ones, but I wonder if some people saying it is harder also went back to work or stopped having full time help as the kids got older. I work part time and just can't imagine that my life won't be easier when the kids are in school all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still have little ones, but I wonder if some people saying it is harder also went back to work or stopped having full time help as the kids got older. I work part time and just can't imagine that my life won't be easier when the kids are in school all day.

Yes, probably- I mean, most people need or want to return to work full time as their kids get older, when they are focusing on saving for college, etc. I've honestly never understood the moms who SAH once their kids are all in school. I think with 3 school-aged kids, part time would be ideal, but I will probably have to go back FT to meet our savings goals. As for outsourcing, the only thing we have now is a cleaning person every other week, which I anticipate we will keep.

[Anonymous]

Oh I know what you are going through. I was there and I didn't think I would make it through. Then gradually, day by day it got easier to the point that I can't even remember how hard it was. My kids are 3, 6, 8, and 11 and it is busier now because they are "in" things but it is not so demanding and physically and emotionally demanding.