Sports and early elemenatry

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old is obsessed with winning. We don't emphasize winning/losing, but he knows winning is the point because it's all around everywhere. He and his peers are constantly comparing their skills in everything (it's frustrating!). So to me, your kids seems normal.

If he wants to keep playing, let him keep playing. Learning how to lose is a good skill to have; being a quitter isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was about the write the same thing as PPs that it's strange you wrote that he was on a "pretty bad team" and bragged that he's "the best" player on his bb team and "one of the best" on his soccer team. Who thinks that way with that very detailed ranking of 1st graders?

Ignore this poster ^^^^

There are different skill levels and natural sports abilities aND there is nothing wrong wit saying he is one of the better players,. Sports teams end of being long term multi year commitments, you may want to see if he can get on a better team. It's okay if the kids don't play well, you just need a good coach and the kids will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 1st grade my son's basketball league didn't keep score. The focus was on learning the game while having fun. It was definitely more serious in 2nd grade with an actual referee but score was kept by quarter and reset each time. The focus was still on learning the game. Some kids were more serious than others and some parents were more competitive than the kids. It was never announced who won each quarter. Winning and losing wasn't the focus.

My kids' basketball league also doesn't keep score at the younger ages, but I can assure you that the kids did/do (and it wasn't just mine). I think his frustration with losing is age-appropriate and he will likely grow out of it.

I will suggest if your child shows strong interest and early skill in the game(s) and wants to take it more seriously than his teammates, you might consider a different team or program for him where the emphasis is on development of skills. Developing skill in a sport and having fun are not mutually exclusive. I was the poster who got flamed on another thread for saying volunteer coaches should at least have knowledge of the game and some coaching experience before they take on a team. I guess that's because we expect our kids to actually learn the game when we invest time and money in organized sports. Yes it's about having fun, learning about teamwork, and spending time with friends, but it's also about learning a sport and enjoying the experience of working hard and getting better at something as a team and as an individual player. I don't think the emphasis should be on outcomes/winning games, but I think it should be about developing a skill and learning a game, and I think that can start at younger ages IF THE KID SHOWS INTEREST. If that makes me a psycho sports parent, then so be it. I also understand that not every kid/family is the same. Some kids and parents prefer a focus-on-fun environment. My daughter got frustrated with her first rec basketball experience b/c the other kids didn't seem to care about the game - they just wanted to goof off. That's just her personality. Great thing about the DC area is we have lots of choices. Choose the environment that works best for you and your kid.

Anyhow, don't worry about your son - he will be fine. Continue to nurture his love for sports with a focus on skill development, not scores. As PPs said, praise him for effort, compliment his skills, encourage him to be a good teammate and to support his fellow players. Those things will all pay off regardless of what kind of team he's on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was about the write the same thing as PPs that it's strange you wrote that he was on a "pretty bad team" and bragged that he's "the best" player on his bb team and "one of the best" on his soccer team. Who thinks that way with that very detailed ranking of 1st graders?

Probable every single parent in, say, Bethesda, n Arlington, and, perhaps, parts of Falls Church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 1st grade DS is a sensitive and sweet guy. He is also has a competitive streak and a little anxiety. He loves playing team sports but has a really hard time losing. At home we emphasize having fun, working on skills and trying hard. We are not crazy sports parents that emphasize winning. However, he cries everytime his team loses...and neither his basketball team nor his soccer team this year won a single game...so a lot of tears. We are working on this with him but want to know if this is in the realm of normal for a 1st grader. He tries so hard and is actually pretty good but he's had the bad luck of being on pretty bad teams this year. He goes back and forth between blaming himself ("I played terribly") and blaming himself. He definitely wants to keep playing but the poor kid would like to have the experience of winning once in a while. Anyway...normal or no?

It sucks to be on teams that lose all the time, so cut him some slack.