GF's apartment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, I read that 6 years, not 6 months. Way to early to move in unless you really are thinking about getting married to her. This is an inertial step. Harder to break up once you move in. Not that you can't, but much harder.

Money isn't a good reason to move with someone!

A few years back, I let my girlfriend find a rental house for her and me and (I found out after I signed the lease) her dog at the 4 month mark. Our daughter right now wants to take my SUV back to college with her. So it worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, I read that 6 years, not 6 months. Way to early to move in unless you really are thinking about getting married to her. This is an inertial step. Harder to break up once you move in. Not that you can't, but much harder.

Money isn't a good reason to move with someone!

A few years back, I let my girlfriend find a rental house for her and me and (I found out after I signed the lease) her dog at the 4 month mark. Our daughter right now wants to take my SUV back to college with her. So it worked.

Aw. Happy endings! Thanks for proving me wrong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend of 6 months is great and looks put together, has expensive things and travels. However, when I go to her apartment her bedroom is a mess. The common areas are alright, but the bedroom looks like a clothes and paper cyclone hit it! I'm not super organized myself but her stuff is ridiculous; we hardly ever go over there.
But now her lease is up soon and she has been hinting at moving in together and how great that would be and save money. I don't know what to think or how that would go down. Anyone?
She doesn't cook that well either, maybe that means the kitchen won't get messy too.

Are you with her for what she has?

[Anonymous]

I can be messy in my own space, but when I'm
Living with others am more respectful.

A lot of times when I am getting ready for a date I leave different outfits strewn on the bed because I need to get going and don't have time to clean up.

Discuss it, buts is ver possible shed be neater if living with a neat person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can be messy in my own space, but when I'm
Living with others am more respectful.

A lot of times when I am getting ready for a date I leave different outfits strewn on the bed because I need to get going and don't have time to clean up.

Discuss it, buts is ver possible shed be neater if living with a neat person.

+1
I'm the same way. Left to my own devices I have a pretty high tolerance for messs (not filth). But because I'm not a jerk, I recognize that other people see mess differently and I was happy to adjust.

[Anonymous]

Hey guy- I was a slob in my youth because fun got in the way. When I hit 29 I got sick of the piles of clothes on the floor and cleaned. Just tell her your concern - she knows how she lives.

[Anonymous]

I am stuck in a tiny nova apartment and have a ton of clothes from college that I never wore and still fit me. Whst do I do to clean up

[Anonymous]

Evaluate your relationship for what it's worth and tackle the neatness/ cleanliness problem when you get to it. Right now, you don't really have a right to comment on how she lives. If and when you do move in together. tell her you are used to keeping things much neater and, if that's a problem, you want to make sure she's open to hiring someone to help. Really, there's always going to be something and, among the issues of spousal fighting, this is probably the easiest to avoid.

[Anonymous]

I would tackle the issue head on for sure before considering moving in together.

Because if you choose not to, anger and resentment with build and your relationship will be toast.

[Anonymous]

Guess OP won't be one of those DCUM posts about wives picking up dirty dishes their hubby left!

Double standards much?

[Anonymous]

You need to be brutally honest with her and if she gets mad then dump her.

[Anonymous]

My husband could have written this post years ago. When Im in my own personal space, Im a slob. My room was always home to laundry mountain and ridiculous paper stacks, artwork, etc. When I started sharing that space with him, I cleaned up my act out of respect for him, the same way I was always super neat in common areas with roommates.

DH on the other hand had a super neat room. Once we got married, he stopped all forms of cleaning up after himself and expects me to do all of it. Thank goodness Im NOT a neat freak or we'd be doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband could have written this post years ago. When Im in my own personal space, Im a slob. My room was always home to laundry mountain and ridiculous paper stacks, artwork, etc. When I started sharing that space with him, I cleaned up my act out of respect for him, the same way I was always super neat in common areas with roommates.

DH on the other hand had a super neat room. Once we got married, he stopped all forms of cleaning up after himself and expects me to do all of it. Thank goodness Im NOT a neat freak or we'd be doomed.

Now that is rude and archaic on his part. Good luck.