Old boyfriend back in contact with me

[Anonymous]

I have an ex-gf contact me every few years. We are both married and each other's first loves. I always ignore her. My belief is that significant past relationships should stay in the past because there are always "underlying" emotions, just lime OP is feeling.

By the way OP, nice how you bring up that the ex is probably making more money.....

[Anonymous]

I generally think it is inappropriate for a serious ex to crash into the other person's life, especially if both are married. Have your memories, fine. But the ex is disrupting one's existence. It would be different if both people were single, wanted to catch up, or are even contemplating giving it another try.

[Anonymous]

OP here-thanks for all of the thoughtful replies. I told my DH about all of the e-mails from my ex (including the one with the phone number). DH commented that he thought it was a shady thing for the ex BF to do but honestly didn't seem too bothered by it as long as I don't call or meet him (which I won't). I agree-stopping contact now is the right thing and that's what I will do. It's not fair to his wife or kids. The PP is right-if I had ended up with the ex BF he'd be e-mailing other ex GF's, probably cheating on me, etc. so it's a good thing that we aren't together.

Yeah, I agree, it's not particularly nice or good that I thought about/brought up how my ex BF is doing well financially but I'm human. I love my DH dearly but I've always been the primary breadwinner and it gets old sometimes. I admittedly fantasize sometimes about being in a situation where I could be taken care of financially for a few years because I've never had that. I've never even gotten any financial help from my parents as an adult (and by no help I mean no help-not even a small amount towards a down payment on a house, etc.). I'm in my early 40's and still have student loan debt (both my DH and I do) and we are middle income earners. If I could go back in time I'd pick a more lucrative field I would (DH would too) but what can you do-it is what it is.

No, my DH is not a loser (he's a good guy-the only big issue we have is money) and I am not planning on how I can "trade up" or "steal" my ex BF from his wife lol. I haven't cheated and don't plan on starting now. I think I indulged in a little fantasy because I'm honestly going through some mid-life stuff that I need to work on. I liked the PP's "Fantasy Island" analogy...very true.

[Anonymous]

If you ended up with him, he'd be emailed another ex and cheating on you. Do not communicate further.

[Anonymous]

Is there a potential for him to be a better soulmate than your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An ex-boyfriend recently got back in contact with me via Facebook and we've exchanged a couple of e-mails. Very innocent-nothing at all flirtatious although he brought up a vacation we took together and how much fun it was. I haven't seen him in 20 years and we're both married. He indicated that he was on his second marriage but has said very little about his current wife and nothing about why his first marriage ended except to say that it didn't work out. He included his phone number in the most recent e-mail-I don't plan on calling him although there's a part of me that wonders why after all of these years he decided to get back in touch with me now. Is it just about being friendly or is there more to this? I'm happily married and have been honest with my husband about the e-mails because I don't have anything to hide and don't feel like I've done anything wrong. He (the ex-boyfriend) has a couple of young kids and appears to be very successful professionally (he's a surgeon). I feel like I'm thinking about this more than I'd like. Neither I nor my husband makes anywhere as much money as I'm sure my ex BF does and I feel very guilty for admitting this but I think about how my life would be if I'd have ended up with him. Although I've always been more attracted physically to my husband than I was to the ex BF, the ex BF was my "first love" and it was a very intense sort of relationship. I think if the ex BF and I had met when we were older we'd have ended up together but we were too young and needed to explore other relationships. Anyway, just needed to vent. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Neither the ex BF or I has talked about getting together in person and I don't plan on doing so. I almost wish that he wouldn't have contacted me because I don't like the fact that I'm thinking about him now.

Ew! Just ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a potential for him to be a better soulmate than your husband?

Img what is this - a romance novel? Those are fiction you know that right.
100 points/100 on the stupidity scale for you