Niece graduation - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

HARD pass.

I have 2 advanced degrees.
Didn't consider inviting relatives aside from my parents/ILs.

You don't even have to explain it.

"We won't be able to attend your event this May. We love LORLA so much and are proud of the young woman she has become. Kisses."

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone! Just to clarify, we didn't get invites or anything - she just sent an email with the date and said they would like us to attend. It's a different city from their home, so other than perhaps numbers for a restaurant reservation I don't think anything is riding on whether or not we're there.

And I do understand why they want to know - it was just the pissed-off tone that kind of threw me. It's February, I'm juggling work deadlines and getting kids signed up summer camps and holding my breath for the next snow day. I've got a dying parent in another city. A grad school graduation in May is about the last thing on my mind these days.

I am pushing my husband to go out to visit after his mother has a knee replacement; he can see SIL then to. Hopefully that will keep us from being excommunicated. It's just to take a week and $3k+ for a grad school ceremony seems kind of silly....

[Anonymous]

Respond to email with your regrets, send kiss be happy you only have one neice from this SIL.

[Anonymous]

Tell her unfortunately the dates conflict with your Johnny Jr's honors banquet/6th grade graduation assembly/3rd grade promotion ceremony/whatever and you can't possible travel and miss that. Tell her you'll send sweet Suzy a gift and You are thrilled the cousins will be celebrating milestones on the same day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy. Send an email saying how proud you are of niece, but won't be able to attend her graduation. Then send niece a card and small gift in a few months.

plus 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy. Send an email saying how proud you are of niece, but won't be able to attend her graduation. Then send niece a card and small gift in a few months.

Exactly. All she's saying is she wants to know your plans. Her reaction is a little over the top, but maybe she's planning a party and wants to know how many guests. Give her the benefit of the doubt and move on.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why she would be angry, even about a possibly delayed RSVP. The event is in May, there is plenty of time to plan!

[Anonymous]

You didnt even get invited so you did nothing wrong by not responding. They are obviously just fishing for a present and do not want you and your family to attend. Your mother is psychotic.

[Anonymous]

I didn't even attend my own college graduation. I found out it cost money to attend and couldn't say "no" fast enough.

Skip it. All of you. Send a card that all of you sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone! Just to clarify, we didn't get invites or anything - she just sent an email with the date and said they would like us to attend. It's a different city from their home, so other than perhaps numbers for a restaurant reservation I don't think anything is riding on whether or not we're there.

And I do understand why they want to know - it was just the pissed-off tone that kind of threw me. It's February, I'm juggling work deadlines and getting kids signed up summer camps and holding my breath for the next snow day. I've got a dying parent in another city. A grad school graduation in May is about the last thing on my mind these days.

I am pushing my husband to go out to visit after his mother has a knee replacement; he can see SIL then to. Hopefully that will keep us from being excommunicated. It's just to take a week and $3k+ for a grad school ceremony seems kind of silly....

I defifinitely get why you don't want to spend the money & take the time off from work/school to go & agree with most of the PPs that politely decline then sending your niece a card & gift in May is fine but I'm just curious as to why the trip would take a week? Aren't most university graduations held on a Saturday? Even with flying across the country & spending time with the family before/after the day of tge graduation, wouldn't flying out Wednesday evening after school/work & returning Sunday evening (or leaving Thursday evening & coming back on Monday) be enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not one of those events you are obligated to attend, honestly can't imagine anyone expecting it.

Send a nice gift and a card.

Yes.

It didn't know anyone but immediate family attends grad school graduation.

That kind of extended family attendance usually ends with high school graduations (of the first kid).