Looking for physical activity for my 11 year old son who recently quit soccer
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Anonymous
| OP, I'm a little concerned. My first thought is that you and your kid might need therapy, not another sport at the moment. Your post seemed a bit like an overbearing parent, maybe your post is misleading. Is your kid really put on weight and start becoming unhealthy? Did he quit sports because he needs to explore something else? Has he been too over scheduled? Are you pushing too hard? |
Anonymous
| 22:00-thank you for your concern. As I'm sure you must know, all of us mothers are a little "crazy" about our loved ones, but I don't think therapy is the answer. All I'm really trying to do is figure out a way for my son to be active once or twice a week with other kids his age since we live on a street with no kids nearby and he is an only child. He likes to read, play guitar, and go on play dates but I just feel like he should run around more. |
Anonymous
| I'd start by telling him that he MUST do a spring sport and a fall sport. He can pick what each is, but it needs to be a team/group sport (not a promise to go jogging every other day, e.g.). If he doesn't, then you are going to sign him up for soccer again. That's our rule -- team sports in fall and spring -- and it simplifies things. A few years ago, DC wanted to quit baseball but DC knew he had to pick another sport, so chose soccer (and is now very good at it). |
Anonymous
Got it. It is difficult to tell in a forum like this. I witnessed some crazy some crazy parents around sports and/or a very young (thin) child's weight. I'm not surprised so many kids then need therapy later on. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| My son fences and loves it. Great workout plus it has the cool factor. |
Anonymous
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I think it's really important that you practice thinking about your child approvingly. Your concern about his weight is inappropriate, and saying that he would "fail" when playing team sports . . . ugh.
You want him to have an opportunity to get out of the house and socialize in a constructive way? Great. Think in those terms. You want him to be good at something and not get fat? He is going to run from you. |
Anonymous
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We've been thinking a lot lately about the difference between true team sports (soccer, basketball, lacrosse) and team sports where it's more about individual performance (running, swimming, tennis, biking, maybe even rowing).
Running could be a great place to start with a friend. It's something they could do on their own on a playdate -- run around the block slowly once, then build up a little more each time -- or you could look for a kids' "run club" through your town Rec program. From there, they could do spring track and/or cross country in the fall. At least in our town, the cross country kids become very close -- lots of bonding, even though it's more of an "individual" sport. |
Anonymous
I think this is a little harsh. Sometimes it's hard to use just the right words when writing a DCUM question or post. I completely understood what OP was saying there, maybe because we're seeing something similar with our DD. She is a terrific athlete -- strong, fast and very driven. But she's not assertive in a team sport setting if she's required to physically challenge another kid. For example, she'll kill herself to chase down lose balls in soccer, but will instinctively back off if it means taking it from someone else or fighting them for it (in an appropriate soccer-foowork kind of way). Same with basketball. Her ball handling and shooting are terrific. But she's not comfortable with the physicality of challenging an opponent to steal the ball or using her body to protect the ball from a similar challenge. So far, she's having fun with it all anyway. She's happy, so we're happy. We're not coaching or prompting her to be more aggressive or physical, even though it would help her game. But we're also watching for signs of long-term frustration or unhappiness. And we're not pushing her to "play up" in more aggressive/competitive leagues, even though her technical skills are there. We feel like it would be setting her up for "failure" at this stage. Because to us, that's what it would mean to "fail" at a team sport. It's not about whether she's the best player or even a top-tier player at age 11. It's about helping her find sports and physical activities where she can play hard, have fun and stay active. OP is right. If a sport is not a good fit with a kid's personality, it may become frustrating and not-fun. There's nothing wrong with asking other parents for advice on other sports or physical activities that could be a better fit. |
Anonymous
| Op, what about martial arts? My son hates team sports, but adores tae kwon do and has stuck with it for years. |
Anonymous
Maybe she's looking for ideas so she can suggest some new things. Doesn't mean she's making him do anything in particular. OP, it's normal for tweens and early teens to gain and lose weight. Anyway, my son loves fencing. That might be worth a shot. |
Anonymous
Maybe try more of an individual team sport - swimming, track, rock climbing etc... |
Anonymous
| Calleva offers some different activities such as after school kayaking in the fall and snow club (though it looks like it is too late to do snowclub for this winter). The rock climbing and fencing suggestions are also good. My son hated team sports at that age also and did much better with the agility classes at Dynamite gymnastics in Rockville (not really Parkour - though I see that they do offer that also now - but a great way to get some exercise that he enjoyed). It's more difficult to find regular exercise for a kid who doesn't do team sports but hopefully you'll find something that your son enjoys. A kids mountain biking club would be great if it exists. My son also really loves biking and at that age I just encouraged him to get on his bike around the neighborhood as much as possible. He probably got more exercise doing that than doing some team sports anyway. |
Anonymous
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What is with the fencing parents! I was going to say fencing - that is what my son found around that age. Going into high school now. He just wasn't into team sports.
My other son really liked tap until another boy joined! It was noisy and inside and had girls. But, I doubt I would have found a laid back tap class for older beginners again! |
Anonymous
| Get a dog and have him walk the dog -it's good for him and the dog and doesn't put him in a competitive structured thing he might not like. My DS that isn't into sports takes my dog for walks every single day |
Anonymous
| Why do you have to be involved in picking an activity? When he gets home from school show him the door and direct him to the nearest park or playground and tell him to join a pick up game, |