Reply to Looking for physical activity for my 11 year old son who recently quit soccer

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Reply to "Looking for physical activity for my 11 year old son who recently quit soccer"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's really important that you practice thinking about your child approvingly. Your concern about his weight is inappropriate, and [b]saying that he would "fail" when playing team sports . . . ugh.
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You want him to have an opportunity to get out of the house and socialize in a constructive way? Great. Think in those terms.

You want him to be good at something and not get fat? He is going to run from you. [/quote]

I think this is a little harsh.  Sometimes it's hard to use just the right words when writing a DCUM question or post.

I completely understood what OP was saying there, maybe because we're seeing something similar with our DD.  She is a terrific athlete -- strong, fast and very driven.  But she's not assertive in a team sport setting if she's required to physically challenge another kid.

For example, she'll kill herself to chase down lose balls in soccer, but will instinctively back off if it means taking it from someone else or fighting them for it (in an appropriate soccer-foowork kind of way).  Same with basketball.  Her ball handling and shooting are terrific.  But she's not comfortable with the physicality of challenging an opponent to steal the ball or using her body to protect the ball from a similar challenge.

So far, she's having fun with it all anyway.  She's happy, so we're happy.  We're not coaching or prompting her to be more aggressive or physical, even though it would help her game.  But we're also watching for signs of long-term frustration or unhappiness.  And we're not pushing her to "play up" in more aggressive/competitive leagues, even though her technical skills are there.  We feel like it would be setting her up for "failure" at this stage.

Because to us, that's what it would mean to "fail" at a team sport.  It's not about whether she's the best player or even a top-tier player at age 11.  It's about helping her find sports and physical activities where she can play hard, have fun and stay active.

OP is right.  If a sport is not a good fit with a kid's personality, it may become frustrating and not-fun.  There's nothing wrong with asking other parents for advice on other sports or physical activities that could be a better fit.[/quote]

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