How to handle other people's kids when parents not around??

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Yes, it is a community playground - a sort of "tot lot" between the townhouses. I am vaguely familiar with the kids, and I am certain they did not have a parent out with them.

I also felt bad for the kids. The older one was picking on his little brother when he wasn't picking on my son.

Thanks for the responses - they were very helpful. I like the ideas such as asking out loud if there is a parent with them, and if there is no response, firmly telling the child that they are misbehaving and need to go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are all nuts.

I agree -- this is the most accurate sentence of the whole thread, especially the parent that goes around breaking sticks and telling small children to leave the park -- talk about a bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are all nuts.

I agree -- this is the most accurate sentence of the whole thread, especially the parent that goes around breaking sticks and telling small children to leave the park -- talk about a bully.

Have you ever been to the park when there were unsupervised 7 and 8 year old boys swinging sticks at the littler kids?

I have been, and when it is ANY child they are attempting to hit with big sticks, I tell them to leave. If their parents were there, I'd take it up with the parents. But they aren't, so I do tell them to stop, and go do something else that won't hurt the little kids, including my own.

Don't see what's nuts about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:new poster here. How is standing up for your child and telling another unsupervised child their behavior is inappropriate treating a child badly? Seriously???? The PP didn't say she disciplined the child - but she made it clear that certain behaviors are unacceptable.

When I was a child other adults (even those I didn't know) had no qualms telling me if I was out of line. I wasn't spanked or otherwise disciplined - just verbally told to quit my behavior and straighten up. Sure - it might have been embarrasing - but it got me to act appropriately. Their actions didn't cause any long term (or really short term) harm. I knew that I couldn't get away with things. I knew if I kept it up, my parents would be told.

Why can't we tell other children "no" if we see them doing something that is clearly wrong and their parents/guardians do not seem to be near?

11:34 here. I think you misunderstood my post. The pp I was responding to expressed concern that if one didn't correct the other child that one's own children might start behaving badly. I was adding that if you don't tell the other child that their behavior is inappropriate then you are teaching your own child that it's okay for other kids to be mean to them. I think we're on the same page.

[Anonymous]

zumbamama wrote:OMG! I wouldn't let a 4 year old tell me to shut up! I'd tell him/her exactly what I thought of the comment, and to go ask his mom if he can play with the rocks, and that DC can play with the rocks if he/she so chooses.

I agree. I have no problem being firm with someone else's kid.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the two kids left alone to play unsupervised, and think that the best way to handle this type of situation is what other posters have suggested, which is to ask them where there mother or father is, and to tell them that if they can't be nice at the park, then it is time for them to go home. I think that quiet firmness is the correct tone to set.

I wouldn't threaten a four-year-old with a call to the police - we should be teaching these kids that police are community helpers, not somebody who will punish them for wrong-doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

zumbamama wrote:OMG! I wouldn't let a 4 year old tell me to shut up! I'd tell him/her exactly what I thought of the comment, and to go ask his mom if he can play with the rocks, and that DC can play with the rocks if he/she so chooses.

I agree. I have no problem being firm with someone else's kid.

[Anonymous]

10:03 - you are on the money.

9:01 - was it YOUR kid? I bet it was.

Do what you have to to protect your kid, but I have no qualms about telling another kid to back off. I would also call DSS, as those kids should not have been there by themselves endangering themselves and/or others. Don't people watch their kids??? Why bother having kids if you're not going to watch them?
I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I would bet it's not the first time with these kids.

[Anonymous]

Slap 'em. Parents too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Slap 'em. Parents too.

Hey, great idea! I've always wanted to take a ride in a police cruiser.

[Anonymous]

Just curious how you have dealt with the PARENTS when they were there or were confronted? Or what about the kid(s) that don't seem to be willing to just "straighten up" when told to do so by an adult?

I haven't encountered this situation (yet). And, it is assumed that the kids comply or the parents (when told) are apologetic. What about the really belligerent or nasty kids/parents? How have you all dealt that that?

[Anonymous]

Seems parents of certain kids feign ignorance more often than not. Why not tell the kids the truth, and the parents the truth also?