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I think that the school forcing him to choose 1 parent is outrageous. We have never had a problem with various preschools having DD make 2 gifts. We weren't sure about her K teacher this year so I emailed with her about it a week or so prior to the holdiay. They were doing kind of involved projects and DD was out sick one day that they worked on it, so one of the aides actually did most of the work on the 2nd one. Not sure what they would have done if I hadn't raised it, her teacher tends to use words like "tolerant". Is your child in public or private school?
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