Is this shower invite a bit odd or is it just me?

[Anonymous]

Yes--was invited to my husbands mom's cousins son's wifes baby shower recently. But I live down the street, so yeah, I'm going. It's what family does even though I am pretty sure I'm not even remotely related to these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got invited to DH's family member's bridal shower who I've only seen a handful of times in the years I've known DH. It was always at a family gathering and I've had perhaps 10 minutes of real conversation with her. She is a very nice person but I did find it a bit weird when I saw the invite and thought maybe it's one of those big co-ed things you invite everyone in the locale to. But when I opened the invite I saw that only 12 women were invited and I only know the bride to be and the woman throwing the shower who is also distantly related to DH.

Is it typical to invite a distant family member to a bridal shower just because they are local even though you don't actually hang out for fun outside of family things? I'm a bit pressured to go because DH is very excited that I'm being included in a family thing but this is just so weird for me. I would probably not have thought to invite her in an intimate bridal shower setting if it were me.

Can't tell if this is odd or if it's just me.... DH clearly thinks this is amazing.

Maybe she doesn't have many friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bit pressured to go because DH is very excited that I'm being included in a family thing but this is just so weird for me.

I always wondered at how DH's family has a lot of "distant" relatives who are at all the family events. You know what I've learned over the last 15 years? Those "distant" relatives are a lot of fun, and they have a lot to offer the family.

I'd broaden your definition of family (as your DH seems to have done) and go try to make a connection.

[Anonymous]

I think it's normal and sweet that she invited you. You are family and I've locally and she wants to celebrate with you. I think if she loves far away and didn't know you, then maybe it would be a gift grab. Or maybe she doesn't have a ton of friends here. Either way, you should go.

And, for all you know, her family could have asked that she include you and she is thinking the same thing as you but wants to be nice.

[Anonymous]

I don't see anything odd about that

[Anonymous]

Not odd at all. Weddings are all about bringing families together.

[Anonymous]

This is not weird. It sounds like she doesn't have many friends to invite. You should go.

[Anonymous]

You should decline. Only because you sound like a complete bitch and would probably look for reasons to look down on her.

[Anonymous]

It's you.

It's a completely a normal/nice thing to do to invite local family to a shower. She's asking you to celebrate because you're family, not necessarily because you have a very close personal relationship - and maybe she wants to get to know you better anyway.

[Anonymous]

For many families, a wedding is a special event and it would be considered rude NOT to invite you. For many, family is always included for wedding events and showers and it would be a huge slight to exclude a family member, especially one that is local.

No, it is not weird that you were invited. Although it may not be normal for you, it does seem weird to me that you would feel this is strange rather than courteous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's you.

It's a completely a normal/nice thing to do to invite local family to a shower. She's asking you to celebrate because you're family, not necessarily because you have a very close personal relationship - and maybe she wants to get to know you better anyway.

This. You are family that lives locally, of course you were invited! Seems like the normal/nice thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's a gift grab. Or you could look at it in a more positive way and say that they did not want you to feel excluded, or they are desperate for guests (since there are only 12 friends of the bride), or they would like to have a bigger turnout, or as others have said, she would like to get to know you. Why not take the more charitable interpretation, especially since IT'S A BABY SHOWER.

[Anonymous]

Try being invited to DH's cousin's bride-to-be's bridal shower located in another state. Gift grab anyone?!

[Anonymous]

If she didn't, you'd be here complaining about it LOL

[Anonymous]

Inviting all of the local family is totally normal. If nothing else, what would it say about her if she invited all of the local family but you, simply because she doesn't know you as well? Wouldn't that feel a little hostile and exclusionary? She's local family, embrace it as an opportunity to get to know her better.