How often do your kids see their grandparents/cousins/other out of town relatives?

[Anonymous]

My family and ILs live in the same area. It's about a 9 hour drive. We go up at Christmas and once in the summer. They each come down twice a year for a weekend for our children's birthdays. We see our siblings and their cousins when we travel there. None of them come to see us.

[Anonymous]

We go to see DH's parents usually twice a year. They live in the Midwest, and it is almost an all day proposition to get to their house. Our 2 kids usually stay an extra week beyond the week DH and I spend there, and DH and I take advantage of that week to take a trip ourselves.

The ILs also have a house in the southwest, so sometimes one of the yearly trips takes us there.

They used to visit us at least once a year, but my MIL has developed mobility issues and no longer likes to fly.

My parents are both gone; when they were alive they were a 5 hour drive away and we visited them several times per year.

[Anonymous]

My parents and sister (w/ 2kids) are in CA, brother (+SIL and 1 baby) in Kansas, BIL & family are in southern VA (MIL/FIL have died)...

Usually we spend a week each summer with my parents, sister and her 2 boys. Maybe the occasional 2nd visit. My parents come to see us about once a year for a week+
We see my brother once a year in the Fall, maybe another time if our visits to the parents match up or if he decides to come see us.
See the ILs 2-3 weekends a year. They won't visit us despite it only being a 3 hr drive.

[Anonymous]

We see DH's family once or twice a year and my mom about 3 times a year. MIL and FIL drive to us for Thanksgiving. BIL and an uncle have started driving to see us in the spring. (SIL doesn't have enough leave to come usually and the aunt doesn't like to travel.) We had "bonus" visits this year because we asked MIL and FIL to join us at the beach along with me mom, and we drove to see the ILS for Christmas. (We alternate where we go at Christmas.) My mom flies to see us several times a year, and this year we also drove to see her one time.

I prefer to have one trip a year without any grandparents, but it didn't happen this year.

[Anonymous]

We traveled more before our kids started school. They are teens now and it is harder.

ILs we see every/every other weekend for dinner as they are reasonably local. DH is an only child so there are no cousins. His extended family meets in Indiana each summer for a reunion and we sometimes get to that. We keep in touch with them by Facebook and the teen cousins keep in touch on other social media.

My parents are about 8 hrs away driving and near a major airport though they can no longer travel easily. We see them three times a year with a long trip in the summer that gives time to see the extended family too. We also all keep in touch on Facebook which makes it nice when we are together because we are all in sync with what has been going on with each other. No one seems to Skype or FaceTime.

[Anonymous]

My family lives 5-8 hours away (all within a couple hours of each other). We drive up every few months, mostly for a long weekend, but twice a year stay for a week. We've also been vacationing with one of my sibs and their families once a year.

They visit us less often - on average, less than once a year for my sibs and twice a year for my parents. The bulk of the travel definitely falls to us, but we live the farthest and when I do go up north they all make an effort to travel to see us, watch my kids so I can work some while I'm up there (so don't burn as much vacation), and are appreciative of the effort we put in. Cousins are super close, which makes it all worth it to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family and ILs live in the same area. It's about a 9 hour drive. We go up at Christmas and once in the summer. They each come down twice a year for a weekend for our children's birthdays. We see our siblings and their cousins when we travel there. None of them come to see us.

Does it make you resentful that you are doing all the work to maintain these relationships? It would me...

[Anonymous]

I'm noticing a pattern. Seems like all of us are visiting our families more than they are visiting us. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm noticing a pattern. Seems like all of us are visiting our families more than they are visiting us. Why is that?

In our case it's easier for the younger generations to travel, plus the grandparents' houses are the hubs for multiple kids/grandkids at holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm noticing a pattern. Seems like all of us are visiting our families more than they are visiting us. Why is that?

For us, my parents visit us as much as we visit them. My sister only visited after the births of my two babies but she's a single mom and money is really tight so I understand her not traveling except for major events. My brother has visited me more than I do him because until recently he didn't have kids. I have great relationships with my family and feel like we value each other the same. ILs, however, could easily travel to us (they are just a few hrs away) but don't because they "don't like to drive in DC" They couldn't even be bothered to come up to meet my new babies. So, we don't put out a lot of effort to see them -- a couple weekends a year out of obligation.

[Anonymous]

Both sets of grandparents live near each other 600 miles from us. We usually go there 3-4 times a year (was more before our oldest started school), and each set usually visits us 1-3 times a year.
Cousins on one side-- we see about once a year.
Cousins on the other side-- 3-4 times a year.

We also go on trips with one set of grandparents or the other, but not with both sets every year-- usually one or the other, and sometimes neither.

We FaceTime with both sets of grandparents almost every day, which has been awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of grandparents live near each other 600 miles from us. We usually go there 3-4 times a year (was more before our oldest started school), and each set usually visits us 1-3 times a year.
Cousins on one side-- we see about once a year.
Cousins on the other side-- 3-4 times a year.

We also go on trips with one set of grandparents or the other, but not with both sets every year-- usually one or the other, and sometimes neither.

We FaceTime with both sets of grandparents almost every day, which has been awesome.

You FaceTime both every day. Ugh. How exhausting. You must have a lot of spare time on your hands.

[Anonymous]

My sibling lives an hour away, see them maybe 3 or 4x a year. Everytime we get together, at their place apparently my kids mess things up. It's just not worth the hassle. really, My kids are no worse than their kids!

[Anonymous]

Oh, yeah. vacations. I used to like those...

Our "vacations" now consist of spending thousands of dollars in plane fare just to get to fucking Texas. My IL's did come here once a year for a while, but just them. My BIL can't afford the two kids he created with an idiot and is living under IL's roof in his 40s with the 2 kids-they are on Medicaid and sometimes food stamps, no way can they afford tickets here. And since his inability to keep his dick in his pants bled his parents dry, now they can't afford to come here either.

Oh, and this year FIL became paralyzed from the waist down by a cancerous tumor on his spine.

We just spent our "vacation" stuck at IL's house 24/7 watching bil's kids while mil tended to FIL (obviously, as she should-I have no ill will towards that part). But BIL doesn't take off work, no one told us we should have rented a larger vehicle if we even wanted to attempt to go out since we were basically free childcare for the week

We're probably going to be doing this until FIL dies. As often as my husband insists we must. So far, 2 times this year. I guess now we know we have to shell out more damn money on a van?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, yeah. vacations. I used to like those...

Our "vacations" now consist of spending thousands of dollars in plane fare just to get to fucking Texas. My IL's did come here once a year for a while, but just them. My BIL can't afford the two kids he created with an idiot and is living under IL's roof in his 40s with the 2 kids-they are on Medicaid and sometimes food stamps, no way can they afford tickets here. And since his inability to keep his dick in his pants bled his parents dry, now they can't afford to come here either.

Oh, and this year FIL became paralyzed from the waist down by a cancerous tumor on his spine.

We just spent our "vacation" stuck at IL's house 24/7 watching bil's kids while mil tended to FIL (obviously, as she should-I have no ill will towards that part). But BIL doesn't take off work, no one told us we should have rented a larger vehicle if we even wanted to attempt to go out since we were basically free childcare for the week

We're probably going to be doing this until FIL dies. As often as my husband insists we must. So far, 2 times this year. I guess now we know we have to shell out more damn money on a van?

It's your life too you know. Just say no.