My daughter made me cry today....
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Anonymous
I don't think this is dumb. Pp has a point. Some issues should be introduced and then you turn it over to the child to explore and you follow their lead. You answer the questions they bring up. You don't read an adoption story to them every night. Three is still young so a bit more leading helps the child understand and apply the issue to their life. But every single night or even every few nights is a but much. I'm a single mom so I use the Farr books to explain that all different types of families exist to my 3 year old, but we probably only read it once a month or when she asks for it. |
Anonymous
| The thing to remember here is that kids try out all kinds of ideas on their parents, many of them outlandish or even concerning. It is how they learn about the world. The way we as parents react to those things our kids say speaks volumes to them. If you are calm and reassuring in how you react they will be too. If you become visibly upset or overreact, they will feel your distress and will feel it too. |
Anonymous
+1 Kindly, OP, this is nothing. |
Anonymous
I agree that you can overdo it with a 3 year old, but there isn't any indication that OP is overdoing it. It isn't even clear that the child is talking about adoption, although the OP assumes she is. She could just be trying to figure out life and death and where are you before you are born (good question, IMO). I am the earlier pp who said we don't know what she meant. If she thinks she was a gift from God, 'going back' could be a good thing, in her mind! I'd use the opportunity to talk less and listen more by asking questions and trying to engage the child on her level. |
Anonymous
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OP here, Thanks PP's, Youve been reaassuring. I don't think I overdo it with the books. I would say we read one adoption/different family type book a week. To be honest the ones we do read are about families being different more than adoption. She likes the Todd Parr books too, and Tango makes three.
We are in a Moms group and a lot of the Moms have just had babies and she has seen breastfeeding. I used that as a chance to talk about adoption because we used a bottle for her and didnt breastfeed. I dont bring it up all the time by any means but if i see a time where its relevant I say something to her. |
Anonymous
No. It isn't. |
Anonymous
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My 3 year old son attends preschool at a church with bible study once a week and regular discussions about God.
He recently announced (repeatedly) that he was going to "learn to fly" so he can go up into the clouds to visit God and his grandmother who is an angel. I told him that I would miss him so much. He lost interest in this plan. |
Anonymous
| Have you recently discussed (with or in front of her) the idea of bringing a new baby /child into the home? Or are her 3 year old friends getting siblings? "New baby to love" could be a reaction to somethung along those lines while wondering if you will keep her if there's a new sibling. |
Anonymous
Another +1. I think you're projecting OP. 3 year olds come up w/ crazy stories, so do 4 year olds, 5 year olds, etc... Very often a child will say something that to a parent sound incredibly complex, emotional, difficult, etc... When the reality to the child is something FAR more mundane and less emotionally laden (like the pp's story about the drawing from a book.) Your child will take her cues from you. So strive to project the emotions you want her to feel about her parentage and she very likely will. The complicated emotions you may have about adopting are yours - not hers. Hugs. |