10 year old boy can't say the "r" sound...

[Anonymous]

Great resources, thanks. He's a pretty normal and happy kid and excels academically currently. Socially I think he's doing ok-he has friends etc. I've heard him say that people ask why he has an accent. He understands the mechanics of the sound-I've seen his dad ask him to pronounce it, and with some concentration he can do it. I concur with those who expressed disbelief/sympathy that his parents haven't done anything about it. What will happen is this-i will say something to DH, DH will say something to bio mom and think his part is finished. Bio mom will never follow up, and DH will also not follow up with bio mom.

[Anonymous]

Or move to westchester country.

[Anonymous]

Agree 100% to seek a professional. R is the most difficult sound. My son worked on it in group speech at school for over a year before we decided to add private therapy. The private therapist finally knocked it out at age 10 but it was tough work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great resources, thanks. He's a pretty normal and happy kid and excels academically currently. Socially I think he's doing ok-he has friends etc. I've heard him say that people ask why he has an accent. He understands the mechanics of the sound-I've seen his dad ask him to pronounce it, and with some concentration he can do it. I concur with those who expressed disbelief/sympathy that his parents haven't done anything about it. What will happen is this-i will say something to DH, DH will say something to bio mom and think his part is finished. Bio mom will never follow up, and DH will also not follow up with bio mom.

That's sad that they won't follow up on it. Make sure your husband does. Does he pronounce r like a w? Like wabbit? If yes, then you need to help your stepson.

[Anonymous]

or = or (no problem)
alright = awwight
more = moie (I don't know how to spell how it sounds)
ender chest = enda chest (we're playing mine craft lol)
Dragon= dragon (no problem)
World=wuld

DH says he asked exW about it maybe last year and she took him to a therapist who said he'd grow out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does speech therapy do something that parents couldn't do on their own? Can you download programs, or look up the exercises? That is, if you cannot afford the speech therapy, I mean. Doesn't seem like it's either pay the expense or do nothing, there must be some middle ground? Or maybe I'm clueless and there's nothing a parent can do to help.

Are you serious? Maybe you should also be doing home dentistry. And handling your own legal work.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't say my r sound as a kid, and was flagged for speech class in third grade. Apparently it's one of the later sounds some kids master on their own, but it sounds like speech therapy is called for. I 'graduated' in 5th grade and speak fine now.

[Anonymous]

Typical everybody is busy with their new life to worry about him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does speech therapy do something that parents couldn't do on their own? Can you download programs, or look up the exercises? That is, if you cannot afford the speech therapy, I mean. Doesn't seem like it's either pay the expense or do nothing, there must be some middle ground? Or maybe I'm clueless and there's nothing a parent can do to help.

Not all children are willing to work with their parents on speech sounds. The vocalic r is very hard to fix after a child has a set way of pronouncing it. It can take lots and lots of repetitious drills and reminders about tongue placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:or = or (no problem)
alright = awwight
more = moie (I don't know how to spell how it sounds)
ender chest = enda chest (we're playing mine craft lol)
Dragon= dragon (no problem)
World=wuld

DH says he asked exW about it maybe last year and she took him to a therapist who said he'd grow out of it.

OP, that "therapist" was telling her what she wanted to hear, or just had not dealt with this much. He's not three, he's 10. Time to help him.

Please, work with your husband so that you and husband take the initiative now to get your stepson to speech therapy, since mom seems resistant. Is the issue here that his bio mom has him most of the time, so it would be somehow easier for her to take him to therapy sessions? Maybe you and your husband's schedule with the boy is one that doesn't lend itself well to taking him to regular therapy? (If you have a child in your home, for instance, only one weeknight plus every other weekend or whatever, yes, that's going to make it tough.)

But as a parent of a child who had the R problem, I strongly encourage your husband to step up here and do what it takes to get his son help now, and not let this go on. At age 10, this isn't something he'll "grow out of" -- it's well established and gets harder to correct the longer he does it. Is there a teacher at school who knows bio mom and whom she might heed if that teacher tells her that son has a noticeable issue and she should consider therapy? That could help, because I'd bet that the mom doesn't want to hear this from dad or you, especially now that mom can say she had an "expert" say it's not an issue. Then find a therapist who will also tell mom that this is indeed a problem that needs fixing. If she is still resistant, don't keep waiting for her -- find some way (Saturday sessions, if son is with you weekends only?) to get him therapy that includes lessons for dad and you in how to work with him at home.

You mentioned a few posts back that kids have asked him why he "has an accent." Kids ARE noticing the problem, and once he's middle school aged, some kids may not be kind about it at all. In middle school, he'll be required, for grades, to do many more presentations in class, and it won't take long before classmates really notice this; he might get questioned or badly teased. Even if he's not ever teased, he, himself, is going to become more self-conscious about this just at the time when it's necessary for him to start getting up in front of his classmates and teachers more and more. Rather than struggling to correct it yourselves over a long time, please, get a good therapist who is used to working with (and good at motivating) kids his age. Using a therapist (plus the work you'll do at home) is the faster and surer way to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:or = or (no problem)
alright = awwight
more = moie (I don't know how to spell how it sounds)
ender chest = enda chest (we're playing mine craft lol)
Dragon= dragon (no problem)
World=wuld

DH says he asked exW about it maybe last year and she took him to a therapist who said he'd grow out of it.

OP, that "therapist" was telling her what she wanted to hear, or just had not dealt with this much. He's not three, he's 10. Time to help him.

Please, work with your husband so that you and husband take the initiative now to get your stepson to speech therapy, since mom seems resistant. Is the issue here that his bio mom has him most of the time, so it would be somehow easier for her to take him to therapy sessions? Maybe you and your husband's schedule with the boy is one that doesn't lend itself well to taking him to regular therapy? (If you have a child in your home, for instance, only one weeknight plus every other weekend or whatever, yes, that's going to make it tough.)

But as a parent of a child who had the R problem, I strongly encourage your husband to step up here and do what it takes to get his son help now, and not let this go on. At age 10, this isn't something he'll "grow out of" -- it's well established and gets harder to correct the longer he does it. Is there a teacher at school who knows bio mom and whom she might heed if that teacher tells her that son has a noticeable issue and she should consider therapy? That could help, because I'd bet that the mom doesn't want to hear this from dad or you, especially now that mom can say she had an "expert" say it's not an issue. Then find a therapist who will also tell mom that this is indeed a problem that needs fixing. If she is still resistant, don't keep waiting for her -- find some way (Saturday sessions, if son is with you weekends only?) to get him therapy that includes lessons for dad and you in how to work with him at home.

You mentioned a few posts back that kids have asked him why he "has an accent." Kids ARE noticing the problem, and once he's middle school aged, some kids may not be kind about it at all. In middle school, he'll be required, for grades, to do many more presentations in class, and it won't take long before classmates really notice this; he might get questioned or badly teased. Even if he's not ever teased, he, himself, is going to become more self-conscious about this just at the time when it's necessary for him to start getting up in front of his classmates and teachers more and more. Rather than struggling to correct it yourselves over a long time, please, get a good therapist who is used to working with (and good at motivating) kids his age. Using a therapist (plus the work you'll do at home) is the faster and surer way to deal with it.

I feel badly looking back and not knowing that you couldn't correct it, but lots of Asian kids in my high school couldn't say "r". Very bright kids, but they did get teased a lot for it. I remember a presentation on "World War II" and how we couldn't understand them at all.

[Anonymous]

Really, instead of fixing the kid's defect years ago when it would have been much easier, you all just passed it off as "cute"? Poor child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, instead of fixing the kid's defect years ago when it would have been much easier, you all just passed it off as "cute"? Poor child.

Yup. Just wait. Dad needs to step up and start parenting, no matter what the conflict it causes with the ex. Speach defects are not cute.

[Anonymous]

or = or (no problem)
alright = awwight
more = moie (I don't know how to spell how it sounds)
ender chest = enda chest (we're playing mine craft lol)
Dragon= dragon (no problem)
World=wuld

DH says he asked exW about it maybe last year and she took him to a therapist who said he'd grow out of it.

She either lied about going to a therapist or it was a really shitty therapist. I suspect the former.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, my ten year old stepson cannot say the "r" sound. It was cute when he was little. As he got older, I flagged it for DH. I don't know if he thought his ex was going to do something about it or what. Anyway, it seems really late to do something about it now, but I'm willing to nudge DH again if there is a possibility speech therapy can help him. Anyone have any experience with a tween who can't pronounce R's? Any chance he will outgrow it? (I think DH and exW think he will outgrow it and that is why they haven't done anything about it).

This should have been caught years ago. It is one the last sounds that kids learn so in K and sometimes in first speech therapists will overlook it. However he should definitely be receiving services at age 10. Even if the parents weren't concerned his teachers should have been.