MIL's home reeks of smoke...

[Anonymous]

Next year, a hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd stay. C'mon, OP, if she's not smoking in the house your secondhand exposure is minimal, so it's just about you hating the smell. It's unpleasant, yes, but it's not going to kill you (or your child).

Speaking of smells, I hate the body lotion/perfume my MIL is wearing to the point that it's making me gag; I'm not allergic per se, it's just this particular
scent doesn't sit well with me. Still, we visit, stay in their house and I'm holding my breath when I have to come too close to her. Would love to stay at the hotel, though, but don't.

But they might bring the smoke smell home with them. You don't really run that risk with your MIL's body lotion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to a hotel.

Smokers have no right to get offended if people don't want to be exposed to their lingering secondhand smoke, particularly if one is an asthmatic kid.

Exactly this. Everyone knows the health risks by now, especially for asthmatics. Everyone knows that exposure to second-hand smoke can cause serious health problems. Everyone knows the smell is disgusting.

Smokers must deal with the consequences of their choices/actions. Next time, stay in a hotel from the beginning, and plan daily excursions/time with them. Or stay 1-2 nights with them AT MOST, and the rest in a hotel, and communicate that plan up front.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Good advice from everyone. Thank you. I thought I was going to lose my mind last night because of the smell. The thing is, the smell is not just a nuisance, it really is a health risk right? I think she was smoking at her room window but I could smell it in the living room. I've decided to try to put up with it, get out of the house all day and grin and bear it at night. But if my kid had an asthma attack, we can leave and dh can definitely deal with it... Hoping we can just power through though, for the sake of avoiding drama...Just two more nights...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But they might bring the smoke smell home with them. You don't really run that risk with your MIL's body lotion.

If MIL is a heavy smoker then they WILL bring the smell home with them. A few Christmases back we stayed with MIL and she smokes. It was annoying but while we were there she smoked outside on the screened porch and we adjusted to the smell etc. However the day we left, within minutes of getting in the minivan we realized how badly we now smelled of secondhand smoke as well as our suitcases. We reeked. Our vehicle reeked. I had to wash everything because even things we didn't wear that never left our suitcases smelled as if we'd been smoking. I even had to air out the suitcases themselves.

And then yesterday I opened my Christmas gift from MIL. A nice scarf. I went to wrap it around my neck and shoulders and both my dh and I immediately caught a whiff. Brand new, tags attached, stinky cigarette smelling scarf. To the laundry room it went.

So, yeah...hotel.

[Anonymous]

PP above. I should add this heavy secondhand smoke smell is worse than the smell I get if dh and I go out to a place that allows smoking or has a smoking deck. It's actually a heavy, almost oily old smoke smell if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

My parents are chain smokers and after I had kids I brought one to the house for a few hours. He was 6 or 8 months at the time and my mom had just had a health crisis so wasn't smoking at the time but the house had the smell. It was unpleasant but when we got back in the car and all the rest of the afternoon the little one was irritated and coughing and fussy. I told them we are never brining the kids back until the house is remediate do. They visit us instead now.

[Anonymous]

Op again. I just found out why I kept thinking I was smelling fresh whiffs of smoke. Because she is smoking inside!! In her room with the window open but the home is small enough that it permeates the whole main floor. I can't bring myself to say something and dh is out for the next few hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I just found out why I kept thinking I was smelling fresh whiffs of smoke. Because she is smoking inside!! In her room with the window open but the home is small enough that it permeates the whole main floor. I can't bring myself to say something and dh is out for the next few hours.

Talk with DH when he gets home. You need to go to a hotel. Awful!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I just found out why I kept thinking I was smelling fresh whiffs of smoke. Because she is smoking inside!! In her room with the window open but the home is small enough that it permeates the whole main floor. I can't bring myself to say something and dh is out for the next few hours.

At first, I was sympathetic to the situation and thinking if your child weren't reacting, then stay. Now, I think otherwise. All of us in my family have asthma to some degree, and I would think your child might experience an asthma attack if MIL is smoking in the home. I'd go to a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Good advice from everyone. Thank you. I thought I was going to lose my mind last night because of the smell. The thing is, the smell is not just a nuisance, it really is a health risk right? I think she was smoking at her room window but I could smell it in the living room. I've decided to try to put up with it, get out of the house all day and grin and bear it at night. But if my kid had an asthma attack, we can leave and dh can definitely deal with it... Hoping we can just power through though, for the sake of avoiding drama...Just two more nights...

I agree. I think this is best.

I'd stay up until the point my DC had an asthma attack, and then I'd apologetically use that as an excuse to leave. I would NOT act angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I just found out why I kept thinking I was smelling fresh whiffs of smoke. Because she is smoking inside!! In her room with the window open but the home is small enough that it permeates the whole main floor. I can't bring myself to say something and dh is out for the next few hours.

Talk with DH when he gets home. You need to go to a hotel. Awful!!!

Why wait until your child has an asthma attack?

Did MIL promise she wouldn't smoke while you were there?

I would leave and stay in a hotel from here on out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I just found out why I kept thinking I was smelling fresh whiffs of smoke. Because she is smoking inside!! In her room with the window open but the home is small enough that it permeates the whole main floor. I can't bring myself to say something and dh is out for the next few hours.

Talk with DH when he gets home. You need to go to a hotel. Awful!!!

Why wait until your child has an asthma attack?

Did MIL promise she wouldn't smoke while you were there?

I would leave and stay in a hotel from here on out.

Yeah, I wrote that before I read that she was still smoking in the house! Terrible!

[Anonymous]

What you're smelling is "third-hand smoke," and it's apparently particularly dangerous to babies and young children: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third-hand_smoke.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, the period at the end of the sentence got included in the link. Trying again:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third-hand_smoke