How do you feel when you come back from a work trip?

[Anonymous]

just talk about it with him to clear expectations. We have a pattern where DH travels for work every other week. He comes back after 4 days without us, basically working or in a hotel room and wants to immediately tell me about the trip, be intimate, connect, just be in my face, etc. Meanwhile, I have been solo parenting and cleaning and working for the past 4 days, and I just want him to take over with the kids for an hour while I have an hour to myself to do nothing. But he took that as him being away and me not being at all excited to see him, so that made him feel crappy. So, the first two times we ended up just misreading each other and had pretty bad reunion. Then we talked about it--our conflicting needs--and now he gives me down time while he connects with the kids, and after I have my down time he gets my full attention. Maybe you can just tell your husband what helps you feel grounded upon return and work it out so that both people's needs are met in a relatively fair timeframe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just talk about it with him to clear expectations. We have a pattern where DH travels for work every other week. He comes back after 4 days without us, basically working or in a hotel room and wants to immediately tell me about the trip, be intimate, connect, just be in my face, etc. Meanwhile, I have been solo parenting and cleaning and working for the past 4 days, and I just want him to take over with the kids for an hour while I have an hour to myself to do nothing. But he took that as him being away and me not being at all excited to see him, so that made him feel crappy. So, the first two times we ended up just misreading each other and had pretty bad reunion. Then we talked about it--our conflicting needs--and now he gives me down time while he connects with the kids, and after I have my down time he gets my full attention. Maybe you can just tell your husband what helps you feel grounded upon return and work it out so that both people's needs are met in a relatively fair timeframe.

Yes... why don't you give your husband down time when you get home OP. He has been with the kids doing everything. You need to give him down time.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'd be more than happy to give him downtime. I usually get back at night, though, and the kids are asleep. So, he just wants to cuddle and I want to reconnect with my house, if that makes any sense. And get used to not being alone. It takes me a bit.