Newlyweds: What is your routine?
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Anonymous
When do you get home every night? |
Anonymous
Two suggestions: 1. Join a club or set up happy hours with friends from 6pm until 8pm every night. Then you're socializing and having fun while you're waiting for your husband. 2. Move in closer. Seriously, you can find comparatively priced apartments closer in than Vienna. I'm PP who lived in a tiny old apartment in Courthouse. It was $1200/month and it was crappy and old but living so close in rocked. |
Anonymous
I get home at 5:45 (short commute) and DH gets home between 5-9pm (he works long hours). I do think you should live closer to your jobs. |
Anonymous
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Well can't you leave work early and do something? I mean, you said you're downtown. I presume downtown DC. So couldn't you meet up with friends, or hit a happy hour with friends or even just walk around, shop, go to the library, take yourself out to dinner... anything, during that 1-3 hour gap between when you can leave and when your DH can leave?
Is the metro or metro + bus an option for you? |
Anonymous
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We have been married for going on 3 years now. We have a 6 month old. Before the baby came, our routine involved going out at least 1-2x a week, at least just to grab a drink and be on a "date". Now that we have the child, going out that much is hard, but we still seem to manage to do it one night a week, though we're limited to places where you can take a child (he is pretty quiet, that helps). Otherwise, I (husband) have always cooked at home; I find it is really relaxing to have some wine and make dinner. DW used to help with the cooking, but now she tends to feed the baby, though we swap off with that. Fairly frequently she doesn't get home until later - after I've put the baby down - so we just sit down for dinner when that happens.
We never have take out in the car, but on nights when we both get home late (1-2x a month) we'll get takeout (I just don't have time to cook). The only sad part is that we now go to bed by 9-9:30, but that's better than sleep deprivation (baby STTN, since 5 wks, we're very lucky), because the day starts at 5AM. |
Anonymous
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We aren't as wealthy as a lot of people on DCUM claim to be, so going out for food or alcohol is not really part of our budget.
Our routine is not so dissimilar from yours, OP. If I get off work first, I'll head home and cook dinner (love to cook!) and then DH comes home around 8pm and we eat and talk and then do whatever homebody thing we want - netflix sometimes, often he will write and I'll work on my art, sometimes we clean or play a card game. Basically our nights start so late and our days off are so random that we don't get out every week. If I don't get off work first and we both get home late, it's leftovers or take out or an emergency stop for a frozen dinner at the grocery store, then netflix and bed. Now, one of the reasons we fell into this pattern (besides our schedules) is that I've been battling cancer for two years. As I'm doing so well now, for Christmas DH is receiving "The 12 Dates of Christmas" so that once a month next year I'll arrange a really memorable date - whale watching, summer outdoor movie, cooking class, snow shoeing. We will ease back into regular activity and still enjoy being indoor cats with one another. |
Anonymous
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That's pretty close to our routine minus the takeout. I get home at 7 and by the time we eat and clean up it's about 8 or 8:30. We'll watch some TV and go to bed around 10:30.
Weekends we sleep in, go for a run, run errands, do work on or around the house, etc. We go out to dinner at a moderately priced restaurant about once per week. On average one weekend a month is spent with either of our extended families for birthdays or whatever. |
Anonymous
| Do some cooking together on Sunday and heat up meals when you get home from work. |
Anonymous
Unless you are a homebody or introvert. Some people like to be home. The issue is if they're not on the same page. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
me and my dh ARE introverted and homebodies. But even I tire of this schedule. I'd like to do more interactive things aside from living a routine and watching tv. |
Anonymous
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I have been married a little over one year. We are introverted/homebody types too.
My DH and I cook dinner 5 nights out of 7, I would say. I usually do the cooking because I enjoy it more, and he cleans up. Although sometimes we switch, it depends. We love nice food and wine, and we really enjoy our cooking routine. In the summer we often go out after dinner for a drink (this is a great way to get some out-time without spending too much money). We do Rosetta Stone together a few nights a week because we're trying to learn a new language. We have dinner with friends about once a week, which for us is perfect in terms of quantity of social time. I like to do something with a friend about once a week also. When it wasn't getting dark so early we would often go on walks after dinner, too. Sometimes we go see an opera or music performance. It sounds like you're feeling frustrated, OP, obviously. Have you suggested introverty things (perhaps like some of the things I listed) and he is giving resistance? |
Anonymous
Trust me, if you're tired of this routine now, after only a year, it will really get to you later. Change it up and get more fun in you life. The happiest marriages I know have lots of outside friends, hobbies and interests. |
Anonymous
| OP, take it from us older marrieds with kids, get out of the house and live NOW!, you will have a lifetime after children to be a homebody(sitters are not cheap). Don't start a marriage being this bored/boring deliberately, time will eventually do that for you. |
Anonymous
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I just read the bit about your catching a ride home with DH.
Can you find a girlfriend to go to the gym with you during that time? That would be the perfect slot to catch a yoga class and then take a nice long shower afterwards. You might even convince your friend to grab a quick drink with you afterwards a night or two a week. Something as simple as that could really make a difference! |
Anonymous
OP here. good idea. I really need to utilize my gym membership in the city more.I will go to the gym while DH works. |