Another "Inlaws are over" thread.

[Anonymous]

OP, please ignore these jerks. Everyone has a right to vent a little bit--good for you for doing so here rather than picking a fight with them.

Carve some time out for yourself. Send ILs out to the grocery store with a nice, long list. Take naps when your baby naps. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like you have a lot on your plate. Hang in there. At least you're not hateful losers like the pps on this thread.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Appreciate the feedback! But just to clarify, I only have one baby. I came on DCUM because while my mom was over my husband did not complain one bit (I admit, he's a better person than I am), and I just feel like I can't do it to people that do mean well and are being helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send them home. Then you can care 4 your boys all on your lonesome, see how far you get with one being an infant and the other ill.
Drama queen.

Not OP, but shut up. OP is stressed with illness, not enough space, holidays, etc. she needs support. If all you can do us be mean and critical to an overwhelmed mom, then just go away.

She should have thought about thes things before she got pregnant. Only a fool would have a baby when living in a one bedroom apt.

So people that don't have the means for more space shouldn't have babies? Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Appreciate the feedback! But just to clarify, I only have one baby. I came on DCUM because while my mom was over my husband did not complain one bit (I admit, he's a better person than I am), and I just feel like I can't do it to people that do mean well and are being helpful.

I'm sure your DH appreciates this,
You'll be fine. Think of some ways your MIL can help out without sounding like you are bossing her around or being condescending or passive agressive. Maybe you can suggest an activity she can do with the one who has to be at home. I imagine he is probably bored. Is MIL a good story teller?
Every now in then plop the baby in MIL's lap or ask him to feed him.
Could you say to her I need 20 minutes to shower and pass the baby off to her. When she does do something helpful make a huge deal out of it.
Try to assume the best. This is what I do with my MIL and my relationship with her has improved, and visits aren't so stressful.
Hang in there before you know it this will all be a distant memory.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Bringing this back because MIL and FIL suggested that they take our child with them back to the midwest, because MIL said she can't imagine living without him. I replied with "That's how I feel every morning when I go to work." I mentioned it to DH when he came home, and he admitted that they had already asked him if they could take our baby the first week they came. WHO OFFERS SUCH A THING? Are they not thinking about their own son and daughter in law?

[Anonymous]

Ummmm, crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your baby and MIL are in cahoots. Baby waited until you were ou of sight to finally crawl and MIL was a real bitch to video it so you could see. What a selfish, mean MIL!

GROW UP OP.

LOL What about the baby? He was pretty mean-spirited too!

OP, get help. You're losing your shit. I'm sorry things are difficult, but most of it is self-inflicted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send them home. Then you can care 4 your boys all on your lonesome, see how far you get with one being an infant and the other ill.
Drama queen.

Not OP, but shut up. OP is stressed with illness, not enough space, holidays, etc. she needs support. If all you can do us be mean and critical to an overwhelmed mom, then just go away.

I would think someone in her situation ( if it were so dire) wouldn't have the time or inclination to bitch on DCUM.
She came her to whine. Period.All her kids are alive and the one who is sick will be better by New Year that's a hell of a lot to be thankful for . Even more she has family willing and able to help her out, maybe they are a little annoying, but in very, very small ways.
I do think OP should take your advice and shut up and be a little more grateful.

You have reading comprehension issues.

OP has one baby in a one bedroom apartment.

MIL raised four boys, OPs husband and his brothers.

This baby is OPs first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Bringing this back because MIL and FIL suggested that they take our child with them back to the midwest, because MIL said she can't imagine living without him. I replied with "That's how I feel every morning when I go to work." I mentioned it to DH when he came home, and he admitted that they had already asked him if they could take our baby the first week they came. WHO OFFERS SUCH A THING? Are they not thinking about their own son and daughter in law?

That IS crazy. Honestly. Even the granddparents who don't actually mean "we want to take the baby" who make a lot of "look-at-me, I'm SUCH an involved and doting grandparent who talks ALL the TIME about wanting the baby with me ALWAYS" are annoying. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Believe it or not OP when your child is older you will welcome sending them away for a week with your in laws.

Obviously not now but start when they are 4 or 5. Once my kids got to about 4 I would also leave for a few hours during grandparent visits (date night! movie! shopping for me!). They got to spoil them a bit - staying up way too late, too many desserts. It didn't hurt then long term. They know grandmas house isn't real life. And it was just easier for me to not have to witness it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally understand where you're coming from-- I think a lot of us have those moments of annoyance and frustration with family, and FWIW, I think complaining on an anonymous chat board is a totally reasonable way of venting/handling it (as long as you're actually getting it off your chest and then letting go, and not just using this thread to keep re-living your annoyance-- and, I'm not proud to admit it, but I'd have problems doing that).

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally understand where you're coming from-- I think a lot of us have those moments of annoyance and frustration with family, and FWIW, I think complaining on an anonymous chat board is a totally reasonable way of venting/handling it (as long as you're actually getting it off your chest and then letting go, and not just using this thread to keep re-living your annoyance-- and, I'm not proud to admit it, but I'd have problems doing that).

Best of luck.

Thanks for this. I'm trying to hold off on venting until the next day to see if it really bothers me or not. I'm not sure if that's healthy. I assume I would vent if it's important enough to do so. But maybe I'm reliving the annoyance, like you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She didn't "get" the baby to crawl, he just crawled. This could have happened at daycare, you're just sore that it happened with her.

OP, get over yourself. I realize this is a stressful time with a hospitalization and long term visitors, but you sound way to petty. You have a baby, don't be a baby.

Your MIL is trying to help. Give her a schedule to work with so that she can be helpful. At least she asks about foods, vs. actually feeding your kid potential choking hazards. Make a list of the "no foods" list and post them in your kitchen. If she picks up the kid while you're playing, suggest, "Come join us playing with the blocks."

You are making yourself feel like you're not doing things right. Of course you are, but you're just being overly sensitive. Take advantage of long-term, free baby sitting and go out to dinner with DH or a girls-night-out with your friends.

OP- I hate that this was the first response you got. Do not listen to this person. You are completely justified to feel the way you are feeling. IL's can be really tough. I can't imagine hosting them in a 1 bed/1 bath! Hang in there- drink wine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send them home. Then you can care 4 your boys all on your lonesome, see how far you get with one being an infant and the other ill.
Drama queen.

Not OP, but shut up. OP is stressed with illness, not enough space, holidays, etc. she needs support. If all you can do us be mean and critical to an overwhelmed mom, then just go away.

I would think someone in her situation ( if it were so dire) wouldn't have the time or inclination to bitch on DCUM.
She came her to whine. Period.All her kids are alive and the one who is sick will be better by New Year that's a hell of a lot to be thankful for . Even more she has family willing and able to help her out, maybe they are a little annoying, but in very, very small ways.
I do think OP should take your advice and shut up and be a little more grateful.

Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning, PP? Half of the posts on DCUM are from desperate moms who are venting here and hoping for support. I have posted many times in the bathroom or other places where I can get a minute to myself. The direness of the situation, the close-in space she's sharing with this people, is all the more reason why posting anonymously is helpful.

Why are you so angry that you are attacking this woman who just needs a little support during a really stressful time? Does it make you feel superior to pile on her and try to make her feel worse about herself?