Does your picky eater get nasty when they get hungry?

[Anonymous]

Nope. And if she couldn't remember her snack and got bitchy, she'd get punished. Or she could sit there and cry til she figured it out.

[Anonymous]

What I'm getting from the responses is that most folks don't have a picky eater. I had this battle with my DS when he was younger and I just LOVED (insert eye roll) people's response to a child that was both a picky eater and has food allergies. Its REALLY difficult to have foods on hand the kid would eat - especially if you are out and about. It was not my child manipulating us - he had a strong gag reflex to some foods (bananas), yogurt makes him throw up and no type of nuts will pass his lips. He also gets upset when he's hungry - you can tell his blood sugar is dropping when he becomes irrational and angry. A few things that have worked for him - liquids. We have water on hand everywhere we go - there seems to be a connection with him and being dehydrated as well. That is our first line of defense - get him hydrated. If he's heading to sports practice then it might be a gatorade but mostly water. We have found some snacks to have on hand - apples for instance are another item he will eat and are relatively easy to have in his bag, the car at home. We have also found a few protein bars that he will eat. Baby carrots were also something he finally came around to eating. But the item that has worked the best for him is pretzels - a small bag along with water is enough to get him back to a happy kid and more willing to think longer term about what his healthy meal will be. Its tough - keep working on it.

[Anonymous]

Picky eaters are different. Some have taste, texture or smell aversions. Other simply don't want something, and it might be a temporary or permanent dislike. I've nannied for children with both.

Keeping water on hand is key. Most kids don't realize when they're thirsty, but they know that they need something, so they assume they're hungry. If a child drinks 4-6 oz of water and is still telling me they are hungry in 5-10 minutes, then I believe it, but at least half of the time they forget to say anything because they weren't really hungry.

Whether or not your daughter has aversion issues, she needs to figure this out for herself. She's 13, so helping her now so that she can handle it herself will empower her. Sit down with her the weekend that Christmas break starts, see if she'll track her moods and food/water intake for 1 or 2 days. If she can see what helps and what doesn't, she might be more willing to try to figure it out. The alternative is to have her talk to a nutritionist with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not keep a shoebox full of snacks in your back seat, or juice boxes or protein bars? Get one, stock it, stat!

Because this processed food is shit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I'm getting from the responses is that most folks don't have a picky eater. I had this battle with my DS when he was younger and I just LOVED (insert eye roll) people's response to a child that was both a picky eater and has food allergies. Its REALLY difficult to have foods on hand the kid would eat - especially if you are out and about. It was not my child manipulating us - he had a strong gag reflex to some foods (bananas), yogurt makes him throw up and no type of nuts will pass his lips. He also gets upset when he's hungry - you can tell his blood sugar is dropping when he becomes irrational and angry. A few things that have worked for him - liquids. We have water on hand everywhere we go - there seems to be a connection with him and being dehydrated as well. That is our first line of defense - get him hydrated. If he's heading to sports practice then it might be a gatorade but mostly water. We have found some snacks to have on hand - apples for instance are another item he will eat and are relatively easy to have in his bag, the car at home. We have also found a few protein bars that he will eat. Baby carrots were also something he finally came around to eating. But the item that has worked the best for him is pretzels - a small bag along with water is enough to get him back to a happy kid and more willing to think longer term about what his healthy meal will be. Its tough - keep working on it.

No, you're wrong. I posted before. I had a terrible eater who had allergies, oral-motor issues, texture issues and a hypersensitive gag reflex. He was borderline failure to thrive for many years.

*That never made him nasty when he was hungry*

Again, this is a personality and training issue, not a food/pickiness issue. OP's children, and other children and adults, have to learn to be self-aware. They have to learn to recognize their mood, identify its cause (hunger) and keep it in check until they can eat. I'm not saying it's easy. I know plenty of adults who still aren't that self-aware! But the best gift you can give your child is teaching him to know and control himself, instead of catering to his every need by throwing food at him. Bringing snacks on the go is very American. As Europeans, we eat before we leave, and bring, at most, some water. If anyone is hungry, they can wait until we get home again. No whining.

[Anonymous]

Yes and I see a lot of judgmental responses, sorry op.

It's especially bad if your child has other neuro or mood disorders as well. Really sick of people jumping to the conclusion that a child's behavior is always a parenting issue or spoiling. Thinking ahead is not the forte of ANY teenager. By all means, help her to learn to think about meal timing and reminding her how important it is for her but don't let her, you and her siblings suffer because of her mood which is likely based on chemicals, not character.

[Anonymous]

Ok, people. When we were 13 we were babysitting. When my father was 13 he worked a full-time job. When my son was 13 he built a chicken coop and trained dogs for agility, and was trusted with a rifle, on his own.

Children have not become less capable over the past 30 years. We simply refuse to make them responsible for anything at all. It's not helping.

[Anonymous]

I'm a picky eater adult. As a kid, if I got too hungry my brain would grind to a halt and my decision making abilities went out the window and I'd cry looking at a menu. Even two saltines were enough to bring me back to normal. Can you just shove food at her? My mom could put any of the foods I ate in front of me and I'd eat it.

[Anonymous]

Are there any foods that your daughter will always eat, OP?

I agree with PPs who say to sit down with her, walk through the science of it, and brainstorm together about ways she can avoid this in future.

Btw, don't say "nasty" to her, say "hangry."

[Anonymous]

To OP: Talk to your DD when she is well fed and calm and not distracted by anything like the need to get homework done etc. Prepare before you talk to her. Explain that SHE might not even realize it herself, but when these episodes happen, everyone around her thinks she's being, well, horrible, when the issue is her body and not her mind. Tell her that you and she are going to deal with this and she's going to have some tasks to do.

Then I think I'd make her see the seriousness of what she's doing to herself by first getting the pediatrician to test her blood glucose levels. Explain that the sudden stops cannot continue, and that if this is medical, that's not an excuse for her behavior but an explanation she will have to work with. I would prime the doctor in advance and let him or her know what's happening and ask the doctor to talk with her (maybe alone, without you in the room, would have more impact) about why she cannot keep letting herself crash and why it's dangerous if it happens over and over.

Then depending on what the doctor says, I'd also take her to a dietitian or nutritionist or whoever is best qualified to talk with her and you and about whether she really is "picky" or instead has real aversions based on textures etc. (yes, it's a real thing, though it tends to be more common in younger kids). Before you go, she can list what she will eat readily; what she is OK eating even if her response to those foods is "Meh"; and what she absolutely feels will make her sick because she's so averse to it. You do need to figure out whether this is about emotional control on her part, or if it really is about food. Tell her you will work with her and take her to the store to select the right snacks that you, she and the nutritionist figure out, that you will teach her to cook (make her responsible for one meal a week for the family if you can), and that SHE has responsibility but that you have her back. Stock snacks in the car and be crystal clear that there are no more special stops. Let her write up a schedule of the times each day she will have meals and snacks so she is eating at very regular intervals; no skipping; if you have to get permission for her to snack in school, that's actually something you can request if a doctor orders it.

Doctors and dietitcians and lists and schedules might make her realize that this is something to take seriously because it damages her health AND it affects those around her negatively. Make clear to her that "I'm taking you seriously here and treating you like a teenager, not like a kid. We're going to work together to stop these episodes, rather than muddling through each one or making special stops. You are more than old enough to help take responsibility for your health."

I would not dismiss this as a control or manipulation issue alone, though it might have morphed into such an issue -- she knows now that if she is hungry you'll stop the car, and that's a learned behavior she needs to get rid of. But with my own DD about the same age, I'd approach it as "You're smart enough to step back and see yourself as others see you, and take some control, but I'm going to help however it's needed."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I'm getting from the responses is that most folks don't have a picky eater. I had this battle with my DS when he was younger and I just LOVED (insert eye roll) people's response to a child that was both a picky eater and has food allergies. Its REALLY difficult to have foods on hand the kid would eat - especially if you are out and about. It was not my child manipulating us - he had a strong gag reflex to some foods (bananas), yogurt makes him throw up and no type of nuts will pass his lips. He also gets upset when he's hungry - you can tell his blood sugar is dropping when he becomes irrational and angry. A few things that have worked for him - liquids. We have water on hand everywhere we go - there seems to be a connection with him and being dehydrated as well. That is our first line of defense - get him hydrated. If he's heading to sports practice then it might be a gatorade but mostly water. We have found some snacks to have on hand - apples for instance are another item he will eat and are relatively easy to have in his bag, the car at home. We have also found a few protein bars that he will eat. Baby carrots were also something he finally came around to eating. But the item that has worked the best for him is pretzels - a small bag along with water is enough to get him back to a happy kid and more willing to think longer term about what his healthy meal will be. Its tough - keep working on it.

No, you're wrong. I posted before. I had a terrible eater who had allergies, oral-motor issues, texture issues and a hypersensitive gag reflex. He was borderline failure to thrive for many years.

*That never made him nasty when he was hungry*

Again, this is a personality and training issue, not a food/pickiness issue. OP's children, and other children and adults, have to learn to be self-aware. They have to learn to recognize their mood, identify its cause (hunger) and keep it in check until they can eat. I'm not saying it's easy. I know plenty of adults who still aren't that self-aware! But the best gift you can give your child is teaching him to know and control himself, instead of catering to his every need by throwing food at him. Bringing snacks on the go is very American. As Europeans, we eat before we leave, and bring, at most, some water. If anyone is hungry, they can wait until we get home again. No whining.

I think your approach to parenting sounds similar to mine, but you don't sound as if you have experience with people who have extreme behavior changes when their blood sugar crashes. This can be a tough thing to regulate for both kids and adults, because by the time they realize they are hungry, their thinking has already become disordered. My sister and one of my teens, both lovely, reasonable people normally, can become monsters seemingly out of nowhere if they fail to eat enough. They return to normal 15 minutes or so after a meal. Since my teen is an extremely serious athlete, it can be hard at times for him to gauge whether he's taken in enough calories to avoid the crashes. We don't engage with him when he's like this, just hand him, or direct him to, some food.

I agree with those who recommend keeping emergency supplies on hand just in case. We always have a case of water, nuts, and apples in the trunks of our cars. If your child is picky, adjust the emergency supplies accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I'm getting from the responses is that most folks don't have a picky eater. I had this battle with my DS when he was younger and I just LOVED (insert eye roll) people's response to a child that was both a picky eater and has food allergies. Its REALLY difficult to have foods on hand the kid would eat - especially if you are out and about. It was not my child manipulating us - he had a strong gag reflex to some foods (bananas), yogurt makes him throw up and no type of nuts will pass his lips. He also gets upset when he's hungry - you can tell his blood sugar is dropping when he becomes irrational and angry. A few things that have worked for him - liquids. We have water on hand everywhere we go - there seems to be a connection with him and being dehydrated as well. That is our first line of defense - get him hydrated. If he's heading to sports practice then it might be a gatorade but mostly water. We have found some snacks to have on hand - apples for instance are another item he will eat and are relatively easy to have in his bag, the car at home. We have also found a few protein bars that he will eat. Baby carrots were also something he finally came around to eating. But the item that has worked the best for him is pretzels - a small bag along with water is enough to get him back to a happy kid and more willing to think longer term about what his healthy meal will be. Its tough - keep working on it.

No, you're wrong. I posted before. I had a terrible eater who had allergies, oral-motor issues, texture issues and a hypersensitive gag reflex. He was borderline failure to thrive for many years.

*That never made him nasty when he was hungry*

Again, this is a personality and training issue, not a food/pickiness issue. OP's children, and other children and adults, have to learn to be self-aware. They have to learn to recognize their mood, identify its cause (hunger) and keep it in check until they can eat. I'm not saying it's easy. I know plenty of adults who still aren't that self-aware! But the best gift you can give your child is teaching him to know and control himself, instead of catering to his every need by throwing food at him. Bringing snacks on the go is very American. As Europeans, we eat before we leave, and bring, at most, some water. If anyone is hungry, they can wait until we get home again. No whining.

I think your approach to parenting sounds similar to mine, but you don't sound as if you have experience with people who have extreme behavior changes when their blood sugar crashes. This can be a tough thing to regulate for both kids and adults, because by the time they realize they are hungry, their thinking has already become disordered. My sister and one of my teens, both lovely, reasonable people normally, can become monsters seemingly out of nowhere if they fail to eat enough. They return to normal 15 minutes or so after a meal. Since my teen is an extremely serious athlete, it can be hard at times for him to gauge whether he's taken in enough calories to avoid the crashes. We don't engage with him when he's like this, just hand him, or direct him to, some food.

I agree with those who recommend keeping emergency supplies on hand just in case. We always have a case of water, nuts, and apples in the trunks of our cars. If your child is picky, adjust the emergency supplies accordingly.

Agree with PP assessment. Each child/young adult is different with their reaction to being hungry. Just because your child doesn't get angry even though you were faced with failure to thrive doesn't mean other kids don't. Its night and day reaction to being hungry and thirsty. It can come on so quickly its shocking. I pick him up from the bus he's fine- 10 minutes to get home and I have a nightmare child in a breakdown. All because on that day I forgot a snack. Sure at rational moments we discuss being aware of how he feels, what brings it on, how to manage it. But that doesn't mean we get it right every single time. For instance, recently traveled for Thanksgiving - because of security I waited to get him water until we got through the security check point. 10 minutes, 10 minutes I had a kid on break down mode. We had him drink water before we got there, had him eat a healthy breakfast - but the heat of the airport was all it took to make him a cranky mess. As a family, we all work together to find a way to improve this situation - but just like I forgot the water or snacks, he forgets these things as well. We are all only human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
oP. You owe your daughter better coping skills than you are teaching. You need to teach her (or get help teaching her) that food is nourishment and not entertainment. She needs to find five protein-rich snacks that she can eat without gagging and then she needs to learn to carry what she needs.

Your daughters blood sugar issues are real, but exacerbated by her complex relationship with food.

Now accept who she is and teach her the skills she needs.

This is actually really good advice, OP.

My child is a picky eater and when he gets overly hungry he just withdraws from life and hides. Funny, he doesn't eat food. He doesn't want food, the hungrier he is. And he gets pickier, the hungrier he is.

Now that he is older I have been working with him exactly as the PP said, to teach him he has to eat for sustenance, food is fuel; not necessarily eat because it tastes good or even acceptable. He just has to choke it down sometimes. And this is an important life skill -- not to allow yourself to get too hungry. Find high protein, high fat and high calories foods she can eat and makes sure she knows to bring some with her to practice.

If she can't fuel her body she cannot do her sport. She's likely also going through some major growth spurts which require a ton of energy as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater adult. As a kid, if I got too hungry my brain would grind to a halt and my decision making abilities went out the window and I'd cry looking at a menu. Even two saltines were enough to bring me back to normal. Can you just shove food at her? My mom could put any of the foods I ate in front of me and I'd eat it.

Honest to god, I was like this in the early months of breastfeeding my oldest, who basically sucked every ounce of pregnancy weight off me, plus 10 pounds, in less than 2 months. If I didn't eat with clockwork regularity I would suddenly (and I do mean suddenly) find myself a weepy, despairing mess. I'd never experienced anything like it (though like a PP, I do still have "crashes" sometimes, and I get shaky when I haven't eaten in a while, especially if I've eaten too much sugar). So I'm inclined to be more rather than less sympathetic to this kid. You really have no idea what it's like if you haven't experienced it, and yes it can sneak up on you very suddenly.

I think it's a good idea to brainstorm snack ideas with your DD, and then make sure she travels with some supplies. Bring along a lunchbox with ice pack if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I'm getting from the responses is that most folks don't have a picky eater. I had this battle with my DS when he was younger and I just LOVED (insert eye roll) people's response to a child that was both a picky eater and has food allergies. Its REALLY difficult to have foods on hand the kid would eat - especially if you are out and about. It was not my child manipulating us - he had a strong gag reflex to some foods (bananas), yogurt makes him throw up and no type of nuts will pass his lips. He also gets upset when he's hungry - you can tell his blood sugar is dropping when he becomes irrational and angry. A few things that have worked for him - liquids. We have water on hand everywhere we go - there seems to be a connection with him and being dehydrated as well. That is our first line of defense - get him hydrated. If he's heading to sports practice then it might be a gatorade but mostly water. We have found some snacks to have on hand - apples for instance are another item he will eat and are relatively easy to have in his bag, the car at home. We have also found a few protein bars that he will eat. Baby carrots were also something he finally came around to eating. But the item that has worked the best for him is pretzels - a small bag along with water is enough to get him back to a happy kid and more willing to think longer term about what his healthy meal will be. Its tough - keep working on it.

Wow, you just described my picky eater ds with food allergies. He often doesn't feel hungry before his blood sugar drops, esp if he's playing outside or doing sports. Water and a small bag of goldfish make a world of difference in his mood.