DH doesn't mind DS smoking hookah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you put your foot down and say no. Will it be effective? Will DS just sneak around to do it with his friends? My guess is that at 17, your disapproval won't do much if DH doesn't think it's a big deal. I would just educate DS on the health aspects and let him make his own decisions.

This

Yea, another vote for this. I agree this is a stupid thing for your son to do, OP, but you are not going to win this fight.

You pps probably also throw drinking sleep overs for your 17 year olds as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you put your foot down and say no. Will it be effective? Will DS just sneak around to do it with his friends? My guess is that at 17, your disapproval won't do much if DH doesn't think it's a big deal. I would just educate DS on the health aspects and let him make his own decisions.

This

Yea, another vote for this. I agree this is a stupid thing for your son to do, OP, but you are not going to win this fight.

You pps probably also throw drinking sleep overs for your 17 year olds as well.

Nope and I'm very much opposed to them. Kids don't get high off of hookah, get into car accidents and die. Kids don't get hookah poisoning and get hospitalized. Kids don't get date raped after passing out from hookah. There are long term risks of smoking but plenty of people go through a smoking phase and stop rather quickly. It's entirely likely OPs kid is going through a similar phase.

If you won't acknowledge the risks of the two are different, well, that's pretty silly of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's in the hookah? Tobacco?

Tobacco and opiates.

I would not be okay with this even if it were just tobacco.

I'm assuming your DH is from somewhere hookahs are the cultural norm? If not, he needs to get a clue and stop trying to be the "cool dad."

Opiates? Of course not. It's flavoured tobacco.

I couldn't really tell my 17 year old not to do this because I was doing it at 18 anyways. In the grand scheme of things it's harmless.

What does the fact that you were stupidly smoking at 18 anyWAY (not "anyways") have to do with the point that now you are a more mature adult and a mom, and know better?

[Anonymous]

Is this the same thing as vaping/ecigarettes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same thing as vaping/ecigarettes?

No

Google shisha hookah nargile

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's in the hookah? Tobacco?

Tobacco and opiates.

I would not be okay with this even if it were just tobacco.

I'm assuming your DH is from somewhere hookahs are the cultural norm? If not, he needs to get a clue and stop trying to be the "cool dad."

Opiates? Of course not. It's flavoured tobacco.

I couldn't really tell my 17 year old not to do this because I was doing it at 18 anyways. In the grand scheme of things it's harmless.

What does the fact that you were stupidly smoking at 18 anyWAY (not "anyways") have to do with the point that now you are a more mature adult and a mom, and know better?

Exactly this. I got black out drunk in high school and at times drove under the influence, dabbled in drugs , and smoked. I'm not throwing up my hands with my kids and saying " Oh wells. I did it as a kid so I can't say anything." In fact I think my teenage stupidty gives me more reason to speak out and take a hard line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you put your foot down and say no. Will it be effective? Will DS just sneak around to do it with his friends? My guess is that at 17, your disapproval won't do much if DH doesn't think it's a big deal. I would just educate DS on the health aspects and let him make his own decisions.

This

Yea, another vote for this. I agree this is a stupid thing for your son to do, OP, but you are not going to win this fight.

You pps probably also throw drinking sleep overs for your 17 year olds as well.

Nope and I'm very much opposed to them. Kids don't get high off of hookah, get into car accidents and die. Kids don't get hookah poisoning and get hospitalized. Kids don't get date raped after passing out from hookah. There are long term risks of smoking but plenty of people go through a smoking phase and stop rather quickly. It's entirely likely OPs kid is going through a similar phase.

If you won't acknowledge the risks of the two are different, well, that's pretty silly of you.

I agree. OP, I would emphasize moderation. If this is a once a week thing where he's safely at a friend's house with supervision smoking shisha (so not out doing other shit) I'd be fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 17 and he and his friends often smoke on the weekends. He's a good kid, good grades, no problems but I'm not sure about this...

Is this a cultural issue for your husband, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is 17 and he and his friends often smoke on the weekends. He's a good kid, good grades, no problems but I'm not sure about this...

Is this a cultural issue for your husband, OP?

My guess is that it is, especially since OP's son is technically underage. If that's true I would be very sensitive to this. Your husband may want your son to experience this part of his own culture. Maybe talk about ways to make it safer or about agreeing to a frequency you're comfortable with? Are you OK with your son being around hookah smoke even if he's not smoking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 17 and he and his friends often smoke on the weekends. He's a good kid, good grades, no problems but I'm not sure about this...

I'm with your husband on this. Pick your battles.

[Anonymous]

Smoking is smoking...I don't care by what method the toxins are getting into one's lungs. Regardless of DH's feelings, I'd let my opinion be known and have a talk with DS myself, as to the dangers of smoking. Starting to smoke at an early age isn't exactly ideal, either; perhaps get the child's doctor involved next time DS has a checkup. My DC's pediatrician had a frank discussion with our kids about the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and drugs, and I was happy to have them hear it from someone other than us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is 17 and he and his friends often smoke on the weekends. He's a good kid, good grades, no problems but I'm not sure about this...

I'm with your husband on this. Pick your battles.

You pick your battles over clothes, hair styles, and piercings. Where the health of a child is concerned it's not something to be flippant about. There is a cancer risk with hookah use. Cancer is a huge deal to me and something to fight about at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is 17 and he and his friends often smoke on the weekends. He's a good kid, good grades, no problems but I'm not sure about this...

I'm with your husband on this. Pick your battles.

You pick your battles over clothes, hair styles, and piercings. Where the health of a child is concerned it's not something to be flippant about. There is a cancer risk with hookah use. Cancer is a huge deal to me and something to fight about at any age.

So your suggestion is to do what, exactly? Sternly state your disapproval? Have you ever met a 17-year-old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is 17 and he and his friends often smoke on the weekends. He's a good kid, good grades, no problems but I'm not sure about this...

I'm with your husband on this. Pick your battles.

You pick your battles over clothes, hair styles, and piercings. Where the health of a child is concerned it's not something to be flippant about. There is a cancer risk with hookah use. Cancer is a huge deal to me and something to fight about at any age.

So your suggestion is to do what, exactly? Sternly state your disapproval? Have you ever met a 17-year-old?

Yes and I also was one to quote my parents on the subject your life doesn't start till your 18. There are ways to control your 17 year old.

But perhaps your cool with sitting bedside to your 25 year old while he battles cancer.

[Anonymous]

OP, if it wasn't a hookah but instead was just regular cigarettes, would your husband be ok with it?

Do the parents of your son's friends know they are being allowed to smoke in your home? Is your husband prepared to deal with their anger about that if they find out and don't approve?