Spouse job basically now requires to be logged in every night

[Anonymous]

If he's just answering email on a blackberry while you watch TV, that's nothing. What time does he get home? Do the kids get quality time? Does he contribute to chores?

[Anonymous]

I often work evenings. Sometimes it's time zone related, in that I need to schedule a call to accommodate times zones in Asia. Usually it's catching up on things or responding to late afternoon emails. I make more than your DH but it's generally expected in my field that you will be available during waking hours. But it's not like I have an assigned evening slot.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mother, work for the feds like a PP -- make a good salary, awesome benefits...but can't retire for a long time. I check email at night and on weekends, and work plenty of extra hours. But the good outweighs the bad, and in a professional environment, and with technology available to everyone, this is the norm. I work time that is not compensated. The alternative is way worse, and my job provides enough flexibility that I'm still able to do things for my kids, take care of a home, and every now and then, myself.

I'm wondering what the OP's husband is really doing when he is "required" to log on. Can you elaborate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous! Not sustainable at all. Find another job.

why such a fucktard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is simply the life of a working man in todays society and economy. In my work group there are people online at all times of the day over the weekends and even on holidays. The management expects it. they track it. They require a certain level of online time. It isn't only private sector but government also. I always surprises me that wives think that husbands can simply change jobs or work groups or limit their work days because their work is "untenable." How would you feel if the husband refused to work as required and then was out of a job. Would you be here upset that your husband lost his job and isn't contributing enough now that he is unemployed?

Yeah, my DW thinks this. She thinks a jobs at $150K plus are just lying around to be picked up. She also fails to understand that it is not simply the salary that is important, but the benefits like the 401K, the vacation time, etc. I work for a Fed Agency and I am vested in the TSP and the pension with eligibility to retire in five years. Quitting now would not only reduce my retirement, but also throw away all the vacation time I've earned over the years - now 26 days per year. Plus, I actually love my job! I have enormous job satisfaction. Sure, I could perhaps go out and work for a contractor for a higher salary, but for me I earn more than enough, have a retirement plan, great leave benefits, etc. and see no real reason to change other than she doesn't like that the job requires so much travel.

I have already changed jobs for her once, and it never really changed the marital family dynamic, so why change again? She is going to be unhappy no matter what I do. So, she just needs to suck it up for another five years or so.

Five years is nothing. What an awesome investment, PP. Right on!!

[Anonymous]

It seems like there are easy fixes available. Spend an hour together before logon. Or, special time afterward. Whatever you do, don't be a drag for 2-hours while he's doing the job that feeds the family.

And, yes, I'd ABSOLUTELY say the same if it were DW with the evening responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

My husband is currently on a month long vacation yet his phone and email are non stop vomiting so he is working from home. Since yesterday he has logged 10 working hours. He plans to not count these hours as vacation rather take a Friday or Monday off in the coming months. Imagine 6 months of long weekends.

He makes good money, the work has to be done and he said yesterday he felt bad ignoring me. LOL. I'm not a child. I can amuse myself.

Is it worth it ? Don't know yet but I suspect come March it will be.

That's life. It beats going hungry and homeless.

[Anonymous]

This is great that some of you are saying the money is worth it. But for many of us, it's ALL salaried jobs are becoming like this, even the 40k ones. Why do we have less protections than hourly workers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is great that some of you are saying the money is worth it. But for many of us, it's ALL salaried jobs are becoming like this, even the 40k ones. Why do we have less protections than hourly workers?

Yep. And companies actually don't usually see increased productivity. They are delusional.

[Anonymous]

It is like we've regressed back into some feudal society and we're all serfs.

[Anonymous]

I think this is the norm these days. This is the norm for both DH and me. He's a professor so he often is doing grading and planning out classes at night so he can spend his daytime hours on research. I also have work that sometimes has to get done at night and I do some contract work on the side which is all done at night so most nights both of us are logged on for a few hours working after we put the kids to bed.

[Anonymous]

This is really normal these days.

[Anonymous]

The question is: should it be the norm? Doesn't seem very healthy. More people as batteries helping power the Matrix.

[Anonymous]

I make 180k and I do have to be online most nights. My husband gets frustrated with it. I can't fulfill all of my responsibilities at work from 9 to 5. I could find a job paying less, and not have to bring work home. I'll probably do that eventually. I'm not aware of too many jobs at this level where it's 9 to 5...

[Anonymous]

It took me a while of reading this thread to realize that the husband in question seems to be facing typical off-hour requirements that have become standard for a huge number of jobs out there. I'm hoping to clear $60k this year and am taking customer calls most nights.

9-5 is a quaint memory from another era. Like pensions and office parties.

Hats off to those with the skills and/or leverage to escape work responsibilities by dinner time.