MIL vent. Buys too much for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's an OP problem, not just a DH problem.

OP's main problem is that DH is still too fused to his parents. That's DH's family of origin. DH's family with OP is their family now.

Limits must be set ASAP!

[Anonymous]

Gee, I envy you, OP! My problem with my MIL is that she's dead and DH misses her. My kids will never know that grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you be happy for your kids?

Not OP, but I don't think showering kids with tons of presents is something to be happy about. It's going to screw the kids up, and OP knows it. So, no, I would not be happy that my kids are being indulged with tons of crap that they don't need and can't possibly appreciate the value of. No. Not something to be happy about.

[Anonymous]

OP, what are you and your DH's finances like? Do you have a household budget? Do you agree on how much you will donate to your MIL and FIL? Have you fully funded your retirement and your children's college funds? What are you teaching your kids about budgeting and valuing money?

(I empathize completely. What an awful situation you are in. I have the same problem with WAAAAY too many presents from my MIL but at least my household budget isn't supporting her irresponsible spending. It would drive me bonkers.)

[Anonymous]

Marriage counseling.

Your problem is not your MIL. The problem is how your husband chooses to react to her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So here goes. My MIL amd FIL have little or no money and raised my DH in an extremely dysfunctional household. It's amazing to me that my DH survived his upbringing and actually became financially successful. Ironically, his success was driven in large part by the fact that he knew he would have to support his parents, which he is now doing. He told me about his financial obligations when we were both dating and had very successful careers. I quit my job and moved to a new city to support his career, knowing that he had this obligation to his parents. Fast forward 16years . Every Christmas I feel HUGE resentment for my MIL. She insists on buying a bunch of crap and endless toys for our children. I'm bothered not only because we pay their mortgage and most of their living expenses (so essentially these unnecessary and crappy toys are coming out of our pocket) but also because the excess sends the wrong message to our children. Our children are growing up in privilege that my husband and I never had and we are trying to find balance. For years, we have politely asked her not to spend so much. But every year she ignores our wishes and pulls up in the big luxury SUV(that we are paying for while my DH is content driving an 11-year-old car) and I literallly want to tear her eyes out. And don't get me started on her wardrobe. In the 16 years we've been together, I've never seen her repeat an outfit. And when she ran up a credit card bill of 50k , and took a second mortgage out on her house, my DH and his brother were there to bail her out. God, she makes me crazy. Ok vent over.

So tell her your kids are totally into stickers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage counseling.

Your problem is not your MIL. The problem is how your husband chooses to react to her behavior.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gee, I envy you, OP! My problem with my MIL is that she's dead and DH misses her. My kids will never know that grandma.

[Anonymous]

I don't like xmas because of this over giving of presents. Sometimes things you can't even use. Why ask for a list if you can't even get anything on the list! And why get something that I already mentioned I can't stand.