References for SAHM returning to work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I sent a nice email to 1 co-worker and 1 supervisor whom I worked with at my last job asking if they would be a reference for me. No response. What should I do now?

You sent it less than 24 hours ago, you need to give them a little more response time than that. If you don't hear from them, though, I would ask someone else fairly senior in the non-profit you formed for a reference, and would ask a school administrator you worked with as PTA president as well.[/quote
You think op formed a nonprofit that currently has senior staff and is applying for a 10/hr job? uh, ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread should be required reading for anyone wanting to become a SAHM.

Op, what do you mean you started a nonprofit? Did it not get off the ground? What's its status now?

OP here. I started a very small non-profit in my field. There are no paid staff members, just a few volunteers. I don't make any kind of salary from it. We do a few programs per month.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. Your former colleague sounds really lame. They should have said that while they remember you and enjoyed working with you, they could use your help in reminding them of some of the specific projects you worked on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread should be required reading for anyone wanting to become a SAHM.

OP here. Gosh, this really makes me feel like crap. This is the second thread of mine in a week that has been made "required reading." Here, it's "required reading" for those who are thinking about being a SAHM before they end up unable to get any job of substance because they don't have up to date references; my other thread is "required reading" for those who delay having kids and then find out they're infertile. It has not been a very good week.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel badly!! I didn't work for several years, and used PTA references, and they were totally fine with it. People leave jobs and lose contact so it's hard to keep in touch for references especially if you've left the workforce. I worked in HR, and references are not the end-all be all they used to be. So many people won't give them, or just verify employment, and confident hiring managers will trust their instincts.

Good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks PP for your kind words.

I guess my reference list will be two PTA references and one reference from my non-profit. Basically my work colleagues who I tried to contact said they don't remember enough about me/my work to be a good reference. But what do I tell this new job if they ask why I don't have any references from my last job? Some of my co-workers who I would have asked for a reference have left that employer and I don't know where/how to get in contact with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks PP for your kind words.

I guess my reference list will be two PTA references and one reference from my non-profit. Basically my work colleagues who I tried to contact said they don't remember enough about me/my work to be a good reference. But what do I tell this new job if they ask why I don't have any references from my last job? Some of my co-workers who I would have asked for a reference have left that employer and I don't know where/how to get in contact with them.

That's what you tell them- that the people most familiar with your work at xyz inc. are no longer there, and you do not have any contact information for them, but that the PTA/nonprofit people have worked with you recently on projects a,b,c and can answer any questions they have about you. Prepare your PTA people to give a professional reference, and it will be fine. I gave them my resume, job description and a few key points. I promise that the people hiring me did not bat an eye when I gave 2 PTA references. Starting a nonprofit is a huge amount of work- and you should not sell yourself short.

[Anonymous]

Well this is scaring me. I've been sahm for 10 years, I was a teacher and all my former principals are retired....some may have even passed away. We also are a military family so have moved a ton. Now I'm totally screwed and will be stuck as a sahm forever.

[Anonymous]

If you started a nonprofit, can't you find references surrounding that?

I'd think that would trump the PTA.

TBH, unless you're high ranking in the PTA - MCCPTA - people overlook that position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well this is scaring me. I've been sahm for 10 years, I was a teacher and all my former principals are retired....some may have even passed away. We also are a military family so have moved a ton. Now I'm totally screwed and will be stuck as a sahm forever.

Returning to teaching after a 10-year gap is hard. I'd try something else, especially if you didn't keep up with your certification. You could try to work for an educational nonprofit. Sometimes they're more flexible. I don't think anyone would question your transient lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you started a nonprofit, can't you find references surrounding that?

I'd think that would trump the PTA.

TBH, unless you're high ranking in the PTA - MCCPTA - people overlook that position.

OP here. Well regarding my non-profit, it's like starting a small business. There's just me and a few volunteers. The PTA is just preschool PTA so not very impressive either.

I probably won't end up getting a job offer for this job but it's a wakeup call to start professional level volunteering so that I can get some up to date references and start reapplying to jobs a year from now.

[Anonymous]

It's less of an indictment of staying home and more of not maintaining contact with co-workers. I was a SAH and still can get good references from people I worked with a job or two ago (so ten years plus).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well this is scaring me. I've been sahm for 10 years, I was a teacher and all my former principals are retired....some may have even passed away. We also are a military family so have moved a ton. Now I'm totally screwed and will be stuck as a sahm forever.

Don't be ridiculous. Surely you have more resourcefulness than that! If you are applying to BigLaw, well, perhaps you'll be in trouble if you can't come up with a single reference, but I doubt BigLaw would be much interested in you if you've been out of the workforce for 10 years. And the people who are interested in you are going to understand that you've been out for 10 years, so any work references will be dated, or the people won't remember much about you. PTA references won't help you for a BigLaw job, but they can help for some jobs. Don't give up hope!

I've been out of the workforce for 20 years. I'm now in grad school training for a new profession. My teachers are more than willing to provide references for me. You'll find references eventually, PP.

OP, ignore the rude "required reading" poster. She's just jealous that you had the resources to SAH for 4 years! Lucky you! Lucky me! I've been home for 20 years! But now I'm going to join the working world, and it won't be easy starting a new career, but it's not impossible either.

Tired, fussy posters are par for the course on DCUM. Don't give them power by responding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you started a nonprofit, can't you find references surrounding that?

I'd think that would trump the PTA.

TBH, unless you're high ranking in the PTA - MCCPTA - people overlook that position.

OP here. Well regarding my non-profit, it's like starting a small business. There's just me and a few volunteers. The PTA is just preschool PTA so not very impressive either.

I probably won't end up getting a job offer for this job but it's a wakeup call to start professional level volunteering so that I can get some up to date references and start reapplying to jobs a year from now.

I'm not getting this. The job you've applied for pays less than TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR, and yet it requires THREE professional references?? I don't know if my kid would take a job that pays less than $10 per hour!!

I do find it odd that someone you worked with 4 years ago doesn't remember you??!! I worked with people 10 years ago, and they remember me just fine. I've contacted people I knew in grad school, and they remembered me fine too.

OP, you need to scan your horizons a bit wider and see if you can find someone who likes and remembers you and knows your abilities and can talk positively about you. Surely there are a few people like that. Use them as references.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you started a nonprofit, can't you find references surrounding that?

I'd think that would trump the PTA.

TBH, unless you're high ranking in the PTA - MCCPTA - people overlook that position.

OP here. Well regarding my non-profit, it's like starting a small business. There's just me and a few volunteers. The PTA is just preschool PTA so not very impressive either.

I probably won't end up getting a job offer for this job but it's a wakeup call to start professional level volunteering so that I can get some up to date references and start reapplying to jobs a year from now.

I'm not getting this. The job you've applied for pays less than TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR, and yet it requires THREE professional references?? I don't know if my kid would take a job that pays less than $10 per hour!!

I do find it odd that someone you worked with 4 years ago doesn't remember you??!! I worked with people 10 years ago, and they remember me just fine. I've contacted people I knew in grad school, and they remembered me fine too.

OP, you need to scan your horizons a bit wider and see if you can find someone who likes and remembers you and knows your abilities and can talk positively about you. Surely there are a few people like that. Use them as references.

OP here. I don't know how many references the job requires, I just want to be prepared with them when I go to the interview in case they ask about them then. I don't have 3 references, I'll only have 2. Ideally I would have 3 (isn't that what most jobs want?)

Yes, it's true that the job doesn't pay well. But it's part-time and family friendly and I see it as a good stepping stone to a better paying job later. I never made more than 35K when I worked full-time anyway, which is why I resigned to SAH. Also, we don't need my salary anyway (husband is a law firm partner) so I'm not counting on this job to pay the bills. It's more to get back into the working world, be part of a team again, and use my skills again, which I feel are deteriorating from my 4 years being home.

The co-workers I contacted remembered me, but they said they didn't remember my work well enough to be a reference. Makes sense to me, it's been 4 years. How would they remember what I worked on/the quality of my work? I barely remember what I worked on.